Wednesday, July 18, 2012

today we say goodbye to our doggy


when we moved into our new place, we noticed our dog, Tacoma's mouth was filled with blood. we had no idea what was happening until we noticed some huge sore like thing in her mouth. we thought it was just something weird and it would go away.

and we thought it did.  but a few days later, we noticed this big lump like thing on her bottom jaw.

i took her to the vet and he told me that it was a tumor and needed to be removed to find out if it was cancerous or not.

i was shocked. it never even crossed my mind that the thing could be a tumor. i don't know what i thought it was, i just never thought something like that.
so we had the surgery done and the tumor removed. the vet let me know that he thought it was cancer because the tumor had "roots." he told me to keep an eye on her jaw and hopefully it would take months before it grew back and then we'd remove it again.
we hoped for the best.

hoped that the tumor wouldn't grow back anytime soon.

but less than two weeks later, it had reappeared.  and it was larger than the last time.
and everyday since it's reappearance, it's grown in size. we had to make a tough decision. because at the time tacoma was still eating normally and still jumping and running around, wagging her tail.  it's SO freaking hard to decide whether or not to put your dog down when she's acting completely normal!!!!  you know? 

but realizing that the tumor was continuing to grow- and that she was drooling icky puss/blood stuff constantly, bleeding more frequently, the tumor smelled rancid, not to mention the fact that we're going out of town and were really nervous about leaving her in pet care in her situation.... we decided it was best to put her down.  we would hate to be out of town when something happened to her. could you imagine?

since our  decision, she has gone downhill. she is definitely uncomfortable, doesn't feel well and thankfully, she is basically letting us know that we've made the right decision.  and in the right time.

but let me tell you, if you have to put your dog down, waiting any longer than 1 day for your appointment is pure hell. we've known since monday that we were putting her down today. it's been a fucking countdown the entire time.  it's been torturous!  to live knowing "this is the last this" or "this is the last that"....  HORRIBLE. 

it was an awful night last night in our house, and it's going to be an awful evening tonight. it's never easy to lose a friend. and i'm going to miss her so much.  she was a pain in the ass, but she was my pain in the ass.

we love you butts. we'll miss you.  <3


agirlnamedmel said...

I can't imagine. Many hugs to you guys.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. That is such a tough thing to have to do, and you are right, the waiting would seem to make it extra tough.

Take care.


Anonymous said...

So sorry, Jenn. You did the right thing. Hugs to you and Blake and Point.


Anonymous said...

You should be given a metal for taking responsibility for your pup, not allowing her to suffer. It's very hard to say good bye to a friend. Thinking of you during this sad time and thanking you for doing the right thing.