Friday, December 16, 2011

why does everyone always want everything for FREE?

i have found that trying to start your own business(es) means:

that people will constantly surprise and amaze you.

in both good and bad ways.

the people you know will want your services for nothing. or at least at an extremely discounted rate. and while i understand that to a degree on one hand- the other hand, (you know, the one that's empty and has no money in it because i don't have a job and i'm trying to create ONE by starting a business) is like.. WHAT THE FUCK? if i give everyone i know all my services and products for FREE, then how am i ever supposed to make any money? i can't create or be successful in any business i try to launch, if i don't charge my friends at least something.

and that's the other thing- i cannot for the life of me, imagine asking one of my friends who is trying to start a business, to do some of the things i'm asked to do...

it's one thing if it's offered.
it's another thing if it's not.

part of me thinks that people just don't get it. what goes into everything i do. i mean, how can they?

if you aren't a photographer then you don't you don't know what it's like to shoot hundreds of photos during one session, and then spend over/up to 2 hours just narrowing down the best shots. and then i typically spend anywhere from six to ten hours processing the photos. it may not sound like much, but it is a lot of detail work. a lot of staring at the computer, making a beautiful shot, even more beautiful. i love the results i get, but it IS work for me to get them that way. and it's time consuming.

if you're not a baker then you don't know that i worked my ass off for over 16 months on my cupcake recipes and frostings. you don't know that i didn't have a chocolate frosting for almost 2 years because i couldn't make one that didn't taste like shit on my cupcakes. you don't understand how much time, care, and perfection goes into baking up the yummiest cupcakes in the world (ahem, those would be mine by the way... in case you were wondering-lol). but i guess the thing that tends to shock me the most when it comes to my cupcake business... is the sheer number of people who ask me for my recipes.


why the hell would i give you my recipes to my cupcakes? then you would never order them from me again because you could just make them yourself. and really, WHO asks that of someone?

i guess the same kind of people who ask me for my books for free. i wrote that book. it took me almost a year from start to finish to have that book ready to print. it came from my guts. why wouldn't you want to support it? i have to buy my books in advance. they cost money. and then i have to pay for shipping. that costs money too. i don't make that much profit on my paperback books. but some of my friends want them for free. for every person who i gave a free paperback copy too- i PAID you. not only did i give you the book, but i gave you the money it cost to make it, write it, ship it, etc.

you're welcome.

and i don't mean to sound like a bitch or anything, but it's just that i'm shocked i guess at how many people want something for nothing. especially when they know i'm currently unemployed. i don't have a job. i don't have an income. why the fuck would you want my stuff for free?

it surprises me everyday the people who choose to support me (in all honesty, it surprises me everyday as well, the people who choose NOT too). i never expected that so many people that i went to HIGH SCHOOL with would buy my book. i know that might sound weird, but high school was a long ass time ago. so many of my hs friends have jumped on the book train, simply to support what i'm trying to do. and that, is really what true friends are made of.

i could not appreciate their support any more than i already do. they all blew my mind. in the best way possible. so i thank them for that.

it's been amazing seeing who has supported and bought my book. it's also been a little sad at seeing certain groups of people not support, not help, not offer something to spread the word (when they have a lot they could do with their reach, influence, followers, fans), but i guess that's life.

i'm definitely learning who i can count on to be there for me ... as well as who won't. it's just funny, the people i expected hands down to really do something- haven't at all. a group of people who claim to be so focused on community, support and building each other up- they all just want THEMSELVES built up.

but then again, maybe i haven't done enough for them in the past?

who knows?

all i do know is- if you have a friend who is trying to start a business- be considerate, and offer to pay for their services. they'll thank you for it down the road.



CAT said...

I just bought my second copy---a signed one---not get to sending it ho--LOVE YOU

cat said...


Alison said...

May I have your cupcake recipe? LOL

If you lived closer, I'd be paying you to make cupcakes for me all the time!!

Anonymous said...

I have this exact problem. In a past life I used to write resumes and do job search coaching and people will ask me to do their resume. Heck, once I did someone's resume, and literally found their job for them (even though this person interviewed HORRIBLY with an awful attitude- they trusted him because they trusted me) and god got all the credit according to him. so that was literally 10 hours of writing and networking on his behalf and I got nothin'.

anyway, I'm glad you're holding strong. your break is going to come and you'll turn one (or more) of these talents into a wonderful career and then I can say I knew you then!

-pickles :-)

Shelly said...

I LOVE my signed book. When I got my iPad I also got the ebook. If I lived closer I would so buy cupcakes from you. They always look so yummy and I love me some sweets.

ster said...

thank you so much ladies!!! you so rule! and the thing is- of course i'd offer a discount to my friends... when they don't want or expect one. you know? it's the people who say things "how low can you go?" or "how much will you charge ME for this or that?" it's just frustrating because it makes me think like people don't take me seriously. you're serious enough to WANT me to do all this shit for you, but not serious enough to pay me for it?
the days of jennster free services are over. can't do it anymore. :)

ster said...

and ps- PICKLES/STEPH! i totally miss you!!!!!!!! how are you?

Ericka said...

i'll ask friends for recipes at like a potluck or something, but i can't imagine asking someone who in the business of baking them... wow.

the same thing happened to me, when i moved from ohio to chicago. i was MISERABLE - so homesick. gods, it was awful. and some people that i considered my closest friends were totally useless and others that i really thought were more like acquaintances supported me more than i ever dreamed. i looked at it as a rare opportunity to separate the wheat from the chaff. still hurt like hell though.

stay strong, luv, you can do this.

Anonymous said...

I'm doing awesome! Things are going great.

I still read the 'ster, even though I don't comment often :)

judy in ky said...

I don't know you, but I admire your attitude. You are trying to make your way in a dog-eat-dog world, through your own creativity and hard work. Too many people these days feel "entitled" to something for nothing. As an example, I always cringe when I see people at meetings fighting over "swag". It's just pure selfishness.