no one wants to talk about it.
or they pretend they've forgotten.
the latter makes me mad. how can you forget that day? if you lived through it, witnessed it, watched it unfold on tv, heard cries from your friends on the phone and then watched the news after it all happened... how can you EVER forget that day?
every year, i say the same damn thing- "it feels like it just happened yesterday..."
but the thing is- to me... it does.
i still remember everything i ever felt from that day. hell, i still FEEL the same feelings right now- ten ridiculous years later.
and no, i can't believe it's been 10 years. i can't believe that much time has passed. it should be enough time to at least watch tv shows on the subject and not burst into tears, right? 10 years should be enough time to talk about the day without your eyes welling up, right?
well apparently it's not enough time for me.
because i still can't do any of those things.
i taped a special that i hadn't seen before, called "9/11- where were you" and i asked blake to watch it with me.
i completely forget that he has no real memory of that day. i mean, how could he- he was only 3... and for as obsessed as i was with watching every.single.thing about it on the news, i distinctly remember shielding him from it. he didn't need to see those images frame after frame repeating themselves. he didn't need to be tortured that way i was torturing myself.
so we watched the show and he asked a lot of questions. and he was shocked as certain images and scenes were shown from that day. he constantly said things like, "was that real? was that real footage? oh my gosh, was THAT real? was that plane flying into the building the real plane doing that? did anyone survive? what about the people on the plane... did any of them survive?"
he was shocked. he was horrified. it was as though he was seeing it all for the very first time.
and i cried.
i think this year... i'm going to dig up my new york pictures that i took when i first visited the city in 2001 (before the attacks). they were on real film, so most of you haven't ever seen them before, and i can't remember the last time i looked at them.
i'm going to post some each day- along with my tributes to sal calabra and my birthday twin, leah e. oliver. i know i have some fireman photos in there that i harrassed during my visit. i hope they're all currently living, loving and being loved in return.
until then... never forget. live your life. don't dwell in sadness and horror- but never forget what happened that day and what we lost... as a country, as a people, as a human being.