Thursday, August 25, 2011

hi, i'm the one who can't stand voice mail

i hate voice mail.

i mean, not your voice mail. yours is lovely. i should clarify that i mean, i can't stand CHECKING voice mail on my cell phone.

it irritates the living crap out of me. clearly, i've seen that you called. do you realllllly have to leave me a message that says you called? no shit.

it's right there.

on my missed call notification.

unless you have some super hot sighting of ryan gosling in the street in front of my house, there is really no reason to leave me a voice mail (and in all honesty, by the time i check the freaking thing, he'll be long gone anyway). can't you text me the information you need to convey?

it's just SO.MUCH.EASIER.

i don't say this because i'm lazy.

i say this because i enjoy being efficient. and checking my voice mail is ridiculously time consuming.

it takes forever.

i have to call it. then the stupid annoying lady bosses me around with all these directions i've heard 100 times before. the worst part is when i'm just trying to get the message you just HAD to leave for me, and i hear her say, "you have 2 messages that will be erased... first message from..." and then i have to deal with all of that crap just to get to your stupid message that says, "HEY. CALL ME."

i think to punish you...

i won't call you back.

for like a week.

you hear me voice mail leavers?

you're all on time out.

and i know you, friends of mine... you're all tempted to call me and leave me voice mails now just cause i told you not too. well don't get pissed at me when you tell me something "important" and i don't check it for a week.

that is seriously how much i hate checking my voice mail. and why i don't leave voice mails for other people. i assume y'all can't stand the amount of time it takes to check your voice mail either. if i call you and you don't answer, i trust that you saw i called. and if i just HAVE to tell you something, i'll text it to you. or if i NEED to talk to you, i'll text you to tell you to freaking call me cause i need to talk to you.

so i guess i don't really dislike my voice mail... i just dislike the amount of time it takes to check. i like things quick and easy.. you know, like my men.

you?

10:01pm... um- edited to add.. this isn't entirely true cause um, i like hearing some of your voices. and i'd be sad if i didn't have voicemails from my drunk friends, my hot friends, etc... there is a reason i have three voicemails saved. it's cause they rule.

10:15pm pss- i think i just had a bad night. i had like 4 voice mails to check and 3 ones to get through to hear them. and then each voice mail was REALLLLLLY long.

10:21pm ppss- carry on people. call me. leave voice mail. do whatever. i just may not listen to it for a few days... but if it's good, i might just keep it forever!

1 comment:

Jason, as himself said...

Yep. You're right. I bristle when the phone even rings! Texts are so much better, especially is you're just communicating one piece of information.