Thursday, July 21, 2011

the state of MY unemployment

oh yeah, i'm unemployed.


i bet you forgot, cause i don't really talk about it that much.

if you haven't lost your job within the last 2 years, then you can't possibly understand just how bad it truly is out there. unless your significant other has lost their job... or someone who affects your finances.

when i got fired, i thought i would literally go 2 months (maybe) without having a job. i never thought in my wildest dreams that i would be one of those 99 weekers. but here i am. closing in on that 99 week gap far quicker than i'd care to admit.

see, i work(ed) in the entertainment industry in some form or another for what feels like my entire pretend grown up life. and so now that i'm living up in the wrong part of the state for that- well, my entertainment options are limited. not limitLESS (cause that would be rad) but clearly, without fail, reminded almost daily that my job options are... limitED.

if you haven't lost your job lately, then you don't know what it feels like to apply for (literally) hundreds jobs you have no interest in really doing. or to send your resume to hundreds of places you think won't make you want to kill yourself at the end of the day.

see, if i learned anything from my last work experience, i learned that life is too short. that we all spend way too much time at the office. our whole lives revolve around work, being at work, doing work for (usually) OTHER people, and then we constantly stress about fitting our family and the rest of lives into our work schedule. if we're going to be spending THAT much time doing something, we should really LOVE what it is that we're doing.

so the state of MY unemployment, is my daily search for jobs that don't scream "I SUCK" in my face. not to mention the fact that i have sent what feels like a million resumes for jobs in LA, doing all sorts of things back in the entertainment industry. have i failed to mention that most of the jobs i apply for, i'm recommended for? have i also failed to mention that i don't even get so much as a phone call for any of these jobs?

it's an AWFUL job market right now. and i say this because if you're working, you don't have any idea what it's like. you truly don't. you can hear people say it, but if you're anything like me, i'm sure you think it doesn't apply to you. and there is also no way you can relate while you're continuing to get a steady paycheck and pay all your bills on time.

if you know me at all, you know how fucking utterly ridiculous it is that i haven't found a job in a year and a half. but i can't tell you enough, how NOT easy it is. how when someone does actually call me back, it's usually to tell me that they love my resume, but unfortunately:

i'm way overqualified
or i'll be bored
or why would i want to work in that industry, when my background is clearly all entertainment based?
or you'd be great, but we can't pay you enough (and by enough, i want to be clear that i will not work for $10 or $12 dollars an hour, fuck you very much)

but you know, that's even IF i get a call or an email response. 98% of the time, i feel like i fall into some black abyss of resume hell, even though i feel like i should rise to the top with all the flying puppies and rainbow makers.

the state of MY unemployment means we're losing our house that we bought less than 3 years ago. because i lost my job, we can no longer pay our mortgage. you all know the hell we've gone through with bank of america, and how we waited an entire year to get an answer (OF NO) for a home loan modification. you all know we've stopped paying our mortgage and we are trying to short sale our house, instead of foreclose.

i interview for temp jobs i don't get. HOW DOES SOMEONE NOT GET A FUCKING TEMP JOB?!?!

the other day i ran into the guy who owns the local ice cream shop in town. he told me that he has grown men, who have all sorts of degrees, asking him for a job. asking if he can pay them to scoop ice cream. men with degrees, willing to scoop ice cream for a paycheck.

if that doesn't say it all about what the hell is going on out there, i don't know what does.

so yeah, i'm still unemployed. and that unemoployment check is going to stop coming real soon.

then what?


cat jacks said...

ughhhh I dont even know what to say, because I definitely do not know what you are going through---But I can say that I love you and I hope that something happens for you real soon.

SuperViGirl said...

Why do you think I'm doing what I'm doing??? I lost my job and ran out my unemployment looking for another job until I took the only one I could find for... $11 an hour!!!!! WTF!!!!! Hated the job.. Made me sick, made my kids irritable knowing that I hated it, and everyone was unhappy. So I said F this and started my own road to prosperity. I make my own hours and I work in my jammies if I want to! But better yet I'm helping people do the same thing!!

If this isn't the way for everyone I don't know what is! Find an at home business and then run with it. Find something that you're passionate about and say "This is what's gonna work for me and that's it!"

I'm loving what I do and I'll never look back!!

Selfish plug...

<3 U Jenn

toots said...

serioulsy..i know some very wealthy women that sell know like mary kay, have the personality for it..i could totally see you selling sex's that for entertainment?

Karen said...

My unemployment will stop in August. I feel you more than you know. I want to say more, but really it is just too depressing to really think about.

Megaland said...

I agree with Toots. You definitely have the personality to sell something, anything you might love (sex toys included). With all kidding aside, I am so sorry you are going through all that. So sad to hear that such talented, wonderful woman like yourself is still struggling to find a job. If you can't find a job, shit, there's no way I will find a job after being out of the work force for 7+ years now. Keep your head held high and keep up with all the other things you are working on. Even though it doesn't quite bring home the big buckoo bucks, at least you're doing something you kind of love. :)

norcalgirl28 said...

Jenn, I am so sorry you guys are going through all this. Remember when I lost my job two and a half years ago. There were all sorts of jobs and all sorts of interviews in my field. Now, when there is a job it is making $15.00 in the financial district. It would cost me that much to get in the City every day. I really hope things turn around for you. I love that you are pursuing your writing. Remember what I said after I read my first Jen Lancaster book? Your cupcakes look yummy and your photography is beautiful. I thought you had reinvented yourself. I never knew you were going through hell. My thoughts are with you.

ster said...

dear everyone- i love you all! truly. and i am not going through hell. i was just really trying to say what it's like out there being unemployed- and really, how ridiculous it all is that i can't find a job, much less get a fucking interview! lol


and yes- the whole time i was writing this post, all i kept thinking was about my books. and my writing. and how if i hadn't gotten fired, i still wouldn't have started my first book. and how, HOW CAN I EVER BE A SUCCESSFUL AUTHOR IF I KEEP WORKING FOR OTHER PEOPLE AND NEVER PUT MY FIRST BOOK OUT?!?!

not sure what the future will bring, but i hope it's success in the way i want it, doing the things i enjoy and love doing- i wish that for ALL OF US. :)

nancy said...

My hubby lost his job 3 months after we bought our house almost 3 years ago. he finally got a job in june worked 3 weeks and was let go. then spent three weeks desperately looking for more work since his unemployment end a few months ago. he just started a new job this week and we are hoping this one works out. the pay is terrible right now that is for sure. luckily for us i have been able to cover everything but the mortgage and he has been able to cover that. i have been looking for a job closer to my house for 3-1/2 there is nothing out there. i either get no responce or offered jobs that pay nothing and have no benefits. i oh so feel for you.

Ellera said...

Oh... Can I say I was laid off from my job and am a 99 weeker. My husband lost his job six months later. We are both over 50. Did Dr Kevorkian Die?? Just checking.

Ellera said...

Oh... Can I say I was laid off from my job and am a 99 weeker. My husband lost his job six months later. We are both over 50. Did Dr Kevorkian Die?? Just checking.