at least i felt productive and inspired and like i had a freaking life. i did things like actually LEAVE THE HOUSE everyday when i had a job. and no, it wasn't to take or pick the kid(s) up from school.
my book is in the middle/end of some interesting rewrites per the suggestions of my brilliant friends who have read the first version. all of their feedback has been incredible, and i've totally agreed with them when they've said they needed more in certain parts. hence.... writing more. but i'm ready to sum it all up, stop the rewrites, read through it one last time, and start hounding the agents again.
this getting an agent thing is hard. but we all knew that already, didn't we?
timing is everything and i truly believe that in the case of the type of book that mine is... that saying couldn't be more true.
we think we got declined for our home loan remodification. but you know, they told us to let them know if our financial situation changes. LET THEM KNOW IF IT CHANGES? so pretty much.. LET THEM KNOW IF IT GETS WORSE. thanks for the fucking help, assholes. i love how that the main income provider of the household loses their job, and we barely bring home enough money to cover everything.... but we should let them know if our situation changes.
i firmly believe these places do not want to help you. have i mentioned how many times they have "lost" our paperwork???? and how many times i had to send things over because our COMPLETE file, was suddenly "incomplete?" also, can i mention that i would only get fax #'s to reach people, and when i sent a fax asking them to please call me because i had questions, NO ONE would call. awesome. thanks for the help. thanks for caring. THANKS FOR TRYING TO HELP US MODIFY OUR HOME LOAN SO WE CAN CONTINUE PAYING OUR MORTGAGE TO YOU.
it makes me feel like they don't take you seriously until you stop paying. oh, you have money in your joint savings account? then you have money to pay your mortgage. oh, that money is for your $6000 property taxes that are due? and both of your cars are over 10 years old and on the verge of falling apart (but we don't have money saved for that)? over $1000 is for your homeowner's insurance? we don't care WHAT it's for, all we know is that you have money. so you can pay. you don't need our help. go fuck yourselves and good luck with the job search.
there is a small part of me that feels like me losing my job isn't their fault, or their responsibility. they aren't a fucking charity. i get it. but i just feel like with all that's gone on in the housing market these past couple of years, that they would WANT to help people stay in their homes. it makes me lose even more faith that humanity when it comes to giant corporations and business. they are greedy and don't care about people. they care about the money they make, the money they can continue to make, and worry about losing money.......... not the people involved in ANY aspect of those things.
it's disgusting and makes me sick. and also makes me thankful that i currently don't work for someone like that. because i'd rather be unemployed than work for a company who only cares about the bottom line.
maybe this is part of the reason why i'm still jobless. i need to work somewhere that does something better. that cares about people. that truly makes a difference and makes you feel good about what you do. and i certainly haven't found that yet. i guess we'll see.
now go read something that WILL make you feel good and warm your heart. jenny is rad. but the people who commented and read her blog are just as rad. cause this was an explosion of goodness and awesomeness by blogkind. :) holiday giving at its finest.