Sunday, September 12, 2010

without my ass, i don't know who i am!!

listen.

i am getting thinner. (it's the running people, i told you already).

my legs are getting nicer. which is fine and stuff, but there is a problem here.

my ass.

it is apparently getting SMALLER!!!!!!!!

my sister and i went out and when i made a comment about how my sister was always cold because she weighs 90 pounds, some guy said to me, "well look at yourself."

OH MY GOSH, that fucker just called me skinny!!! he insinuated that i was THIN! thin like my sister (which is a complete and utter ridiculous joke if you have ever seen my sister in real life). and i got all sorts of pissed off.

because i don't want to be SKINNY!!!!!! i mean, i don't want to be fat either, but um.. that is not the point of this blog post.

so then i made some comment about how my ass alone weighs 90 pounds and he looked at my ass in my jeans (which are way too big by the way.. UGH) and said that i don't even have a big ass!!!!!!

i could have dropped dead right then and there.

or punched the guy in the throat.

listen, maybe he was just trying to be cute and coy and sweet and stuff. maybe he stupidly thought that by telling me i didn't have a big ass, that i'd be flattered or something.

BUT PEOPLE,

WHO AM I IF I MY ASS ISN'T BIG?!?!?!?!

if my ass is gone...or disappearing.. i don't know how to be!!!

i have been defined by my ass for as long as i can remember...
I AM GHETTO BOOTY!!!
I HAVE JUNK IN THE TRUNK!!!!
I HAVE AN ASS LIKE AN ONION (so fine it makes a grown man cry)!!!!!

this is who i am. it's what i am. my ass needs its own facebook fan page. my ass goes crazy on the dancefloor. it's always been me and my ass against the world!!!!!!!

i feel lost.

i'm going to go eat some donuts.
IMAG0018



tell me it's not gone people.

TELL ME THAT GUY WAS JUST STUPID!!!!!!!

12 comments:

Me said...

That is very little junk in the trunk, my friend:-)

Jill said...

Could it be this guy might have thought if he complemented you he might have a shot at it. You just tightened up everything its still all there just firmer. Lord woman take a chill pill.....lol!

mel said...

you look fantastic, girl. Not that you didn't before, but seriously I totally get you about the ass being important. It's quite possibly what I've been known for my whole life. I do need to start running though to thin out and define my legs.

Andie said...

I think you look great! you should do a post showing your progress pics so we can see the changes. I have been thinking about taking up jogging. Maybe seeing your results in stages will motivate me.

and you will always be STER. Always. smaller bum or not! :)

Anonymous said...

I just have to f-ing laugh that you are looking all sexy and posing in a public bathroom...(yarf!)...You are hot like fire...but I can't get past it..can you post a new pic in a better place...this one is grossing me out...and wash your hands using the singing the Happy Birthday 2x/s method. Loves :)Krissie :)

Becky at lifeoutoffocus said...

i just saw you a few weeks ago. the ass is still there. trust me :) we have matching ghetto booties!

Wow, that was awkward said...

You look great. And what a great spot for a photo shoot. You must be a Chuy's Girl. Hooters Girls have nothing on you.

Anonymous said...

You look great Jen, how long have u been running, for how long do you run when u do, and how often...and have u changed your diet? U give me inspiration.....Jade

jennster said...

me- worst.answer.ever!!!!!! you are on a time out! lol

jill- this is IMPORTANT!!!!!

mel- thank you so much! xoxo

andie- hmmm.. i might have some of those.. i guess we'll see!

krissie- that bathroom was dead clean. bwahahaha- who gives a shit.. just look at MY ASS dammit! lol

jade- if you scroll down a bit, i did a post where i talked about what i'm doing jogging/walking wise. but i'm basically on the treadmill for an entire hour.i've been doing it for over 2 months now- biggest difference ever in my legs over anything else i've done, workout wise in the past (and i feel like i've done them all)

Babitosdad said...

It's still there, but now it's one of those little onions they put in martinis. I like it!

point45 said...

i dont even know you. your rings are off and your ass is gone.

SUEB0B said...

You're bootyful.