y'all know that i took the boy to magic freaking mountain last week over spring break. cause you know, that's what unemployed people do.... they go on vacation for a week.. they go to amusement parks.. and they buy season passes to said amusement parks. ha.
magic mountain has some amazing freaking roller coasters. they have one called the x2. the things that you are strapped into move. so while you're on a rollie doing flips and dropping to the ground, the device your body is in is also flipping and spinning and turning and doing crazy shit. which is ALL SORTS OF AWESOME, except that now that i'm like a grown up and stuff, my brain totally fights what is happening. it tells me things like "this isn't right.. or natural.. or normal. our bodies should not be flipping like this right now. this can't be safe. IS THIS SAFE?!!? oh my gosh, i'm going to die."
and then there is the new ride. well it's new to me cause i hadn't been on it yet (or even heard about it).. called tatsu. now this ride.. THIS RIDE.. you are freaking on your hands and knees. you heard me. you are strapped in and the way the cars move, before the ride starts you are in freaking doggy style position. and you stay that way for the whole 2 minutes of this rollie coaster. i thought i was going to die. everything about that roller coaster is wrong. i mean, it was awesome and super fun, but it's hard to enjoy it when all my brain could think was "holy fuck.. am i really in this position right now and do i have to stay like this for the whole ride?!?!! holy shit, the chest thing is going to break and open and i am going to plummet to my death. unless i can grab onto the feet holders. i'll at least try to do that before i die."
it's true though!!!! between thinking that the one harness holding me was going to malfunction and i was going to plummet to my death in front of my child... and thinking my child's harness was going to malfunction and he was going to plummet to his death before i could grab him and hold onto him and jesus crimony.. what the hell is wrong with me?!?!!
i can't freaking enjoy roller coasters anymore because i'm too freaked out the whole time!!!!!! am i the only one who imagines her kid flying out of the damn thing and not being able to save him? probably cause clearly, i'm not normal and i'm probably a little crazy. i want to go back to when i was stupid, and didn't care how they made the coasters, i just wanted to ride them. now my mind is seriously trying to reconcile how it's possible that our bodies are doing this and how we're not dying the entire time.
i think i'm getting old.
or i need to start drinking.