Tuesday, March 16, 2010

in the process..

i'm in the process of things right now.

processing the fact that in almost 2 weeks i will no longer have a jay oh bee that pays me weekly paychecks to do my amazingly wonderful job in which i rock the socks off of.

processing the fact that at some point within these next 2 weeks, i should probably attempt to look for and find a new job.

processing the fact that buying the house when we did and where we did puts limits on me in ways i do not appreciate, and will not accept. i absolutely refuse to plan and make decisions for my life based around a house and its ridiculous mortgage payment (which could be way more ridiculous if we were stupid and listened to the dumb loan lady who gave us our loan.. good thing we were smarter than she was). i will break the chains that are trying to so desperately to drag me down and force me to stay in one place. this house will not be my life. or one day i'll burn the fucking thing to the ground. so there.

yes, i've lost my job.
it sounds funny to say it that way. lost it. as if i'm not quite sure where it is. maybe i'll find it if i look under the couch cushions or on the bathroom floor? it's just hiding from me! ha

but it's okay and i don't want anyone to be sad... or write how sorry you are. cause i'm not. it's a good thing. it's the right thing. of course it sucks that it's happening, but ONLY because of the financial part of things. not for any other reason.

which is lame.

we spend way too much of our lives in the office. or at work. or working.

life is about living. and i wish there was an easy way to have that balance and still afford to do things like.. eat and feed your kids and stuff. it's annoying how much control money has in our lives. i guess it only has as much control as we allow it.. i know.. but still, it's a hard habit to break. and there are certain things i won't part with- cause let's face it, i like to do shit. and doing shit costs money. so there.

i'm not sure what my plans are.

i'm not sure quite where i'm headed.

but in all honesty? i'm so fucking excited to figure it all out.

it's weird once you don't have a job anymore. it's as if the entire world is open to you again. you can do anything! be anyone! work anywhere!! i mean, those options never truly go away, but when you're busting your ass in the daily grind day after day, you tend to forget that you have options. you forget that you could leave and do whatever you wanted!!!

because leaving is scary.

and don't think for one second that your workplace doesn't know you feel that way.

they freaking own you.

they owned me.

but soon i'll be free. and the next adventure in my life?

no clue where it's taking me... but can't freaking wait to get on board!!!!!

16 comments:

agirlnamedmel said...

I'm going to say congrats! It does suck that money makes the world go round but you're badass and you'll find a job that you'll rock. Good Luck!

carrie said...

It's a journey for sure...and I'm excited for you! Outlook is everything and yours is great - you're gonna do something incredible. ;0)

Angry Julie Monday said...

I'm actually jealous of you...I have been venting about this a lot lately. I am having so many of the same frustrations. You know I wish you luck with anything and everything that you do!!!

SUEB0B said...

Well, I have to say this getting laid off thing is...interesting. Certainly a rollercoaster of emotions. I've been doing it since November and some days are great, others are awful. To me, having a routine, even a sucky routine, was a comfort. Now I am at loose ends, which is both fun and self-indulgent, and scary too.

And even though I have probably the best opportunity I have ever been offered, some days I still feel like "Oh, what the hell am I doing - I'll never survive like this."

It is a whole new world. I wish you all the best.

J from Ireland said...

Good for you Jenn, I really love your outlook. Good luck with the job-hunting.
ps Happy St. Patricks Day!!

Lara said...

I will say that I'm sorry for the crap financial situation, but congrats on having a huge open horizon in front of you! And, of course, it's wonderful that you have the perspective to recognize it. Best of luck in whatever you decide to pursue! :)

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Well, Miss Awesome Attitude ... I think this really deserves congratulations. You've got an opportunity for a great, fantastic, wonderful new beginning in front of you now. I can't wait to hear what you do with it!
((Hugs!))

Katie said...

I say FUCK YES!!!

I was laid off last march and my unemployment was the most amazing time! Granted while I was unemployed I was sort freaked out about $ but at the same time, having my days to do WHATEVER I wanted was bliss. I could stay in my jammies, go to the park, it was so nice.

So I say LIVE IT UP!

Sarah said...

End of an era! Congrats and best of luck on your next adventure! Anyone would be lucky to work with you. I miss you... :(

Becky at lifeoutoffocus.com said...

i'm happy for you and excited for you. they suck.

and yes my job owns me. I HATE IT and bitch about it QUITE often.

amanda said...

I think this is fantastic! I left my job in December 2007 and it changed my life. I had a mortgage (I was single at the time) and ya know what? You figure it out. Good for you for seeing the opening that this will bring into your life. ROCK ON SISTER!

Jenna said...

Well, when one door closes....there are so many others you can open. :) It's sad that money has to come into play in the end. I was laid off for a year and a half when the bubble burst. Greatest time of my life, but my only worry was money. Congrats on the change and finding your next big thing.

Grand Pooba said...

Wow, never thought of "losing" a job that way but you're right! It's like a do-over!

I'm so excited for you and your fresh start. Thanks for reminging me that life really is about living. Sitting in an office 9 hours a day tends to make you forget that.

Enjoy your free time while you have it!

Heather@WHMB said...

Yep, I agree with you. This is a good thing that is about to lead you on your next journey. Enjoy :)

sugaredharpy said...

Whoa! What fun you are going to have! I've been laid off and it was the best thing for me, even though at the time it was really scary.

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