i feel good.
and it feels like it's taken me quite awhile to get to this place. to dig myself out of the dark spiral that was trying so hard to consume my amazing and kick ass life. fuck that noise. aint happening. i rock too hard for any of that.
so i'm feeling GOOD. it's within me. inside me. this positive feeling. like i'm on the right path. and things are unfolding how they're supposed too. and it's all going to be okay. it's going to be better than okay. it's going to be... amazing! incredible! and positive! that doesn't make it any less scary and to tell you the truth.. i'm not 100% sure WHERE my path is heading.... i just know that i'm back on it. and i trust that i'll get where i need to be.
and i can see that now. hell, i can more than see it. i can feel it. i know it's coming. i feel the change in the air.
i did have a psychic reading this past weekend that totally rocked. more on that another time. i'm also reading some of rebecca rosen's book spirited.. and it's helping me. i love spirit guides.. soulmates.. past lives.. regressions.. life's lessons.. our akashic records.. soul growth.. and all of that. i've believed in those things for as long as i can remember. the book has been just what i needed right now. it's helping me reconnect with my inner self. my life's purpose. my positivity and spirit and soul. and wanting to put all of that out there. positive energy. love. all good things.
i know you might be rolling your eyes or thinking i'm crazy. that's okay. we all have our own beliefs that help us through troubled times. we believe in things like spirits and/or god for a reason.
i'm in a good place mentally and emotionally. and i've been trying to get here for over a year now. in the grand scheme of things, a year is nothing when compared to a lifetime. but a year's worth of time is too long to put up with bad energy, and negative emotions. you have to get out before you drown. especially when you know the people around you see you drowning, yet refuse to offer you a helping hand. instead, they just stir the pot you're in even more to see how long before you find the strength to either get yourself out, or succumb to the swirling waters and go under. shitty metaphor, but welcome to the past 13 months of my life.
anyway, i was just checking in. i feel good and i wanted to share. i want YOU to feel good. i want you to chase after your dreams. to think about and realize what it is you truly want. to not only think about them, but write them down. say them out loud. REALIZE them. i know the negative stuff is easier to believe than the positive. but it's just because it's so easy to self doubt. it's so easy to talk ourselves out of things. to tell ourselves we don't deserve the things we truly want.