Wednesday, February 10, 2010

and then lightning struck my plane

i almost had the whole row to myself yesterday on my flight from oakland to burbank.


until this guy sat down in the aisle seat and promptly threw all of his crap on the middle seat between us. (can i talk for one second about the amount of people that do that on plane flights? if you are one of these people, stop now. or at least ASK before you throw your jacket, your papers, your briefcase on the seat between you and another person. i mean, what the hell entitles you to that seat? who the hell do you think you are? the airplane seat god? it's not that i want that middle seat for anything.. BUT YOU COULD AT LEAST ASK "do you mind if i put this here..." i'll say no, of course. but then i also won't think you're a complete selfish and rude jackass with a mom who doesn't love you) so i was mad at the aisle seat guy for being a seat hog.

but that faded with the two ridiculously annoying chatterboxes sitting directly behind me. i learned they were sisters. and that one of their birthday's was on monday. and that valentine's day is on sunday. and that monday is a holiday so maybe they should make reservations on sunday instead of saturday since monday is a holiday. and sunday night probably won't be as crowded as saturday night cause monday is a holiday. and it's a sunday. and monday is a holiday. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did i mention that their voices were enough to make me want to bound and gag them for the entire flight? (clearly i am an incredible speller from phone)
annoying sisters tweet
note to everyone... if you are going to be loud and super chatty on a plane flight.. do us all a favor and AT LEAST BE INTERESTING. fuck.

our distaste for the annoying sisters bonded me and aisle seat guy. and i learned he wasn't a jackass after all. but he did make our plane late so i told him he was being punished. he also didn't turn off his blackberry and he was writing and sending emails for the whole flight. i didn't care about that, because can someone tell me if our phones being on really does anything to a plane in flight???? i "accidentally" left my phone on the entire time.

which is why WHEN OUR PLANE GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING i was able to get that tweet out!!!!
lightning tweet
it struck right next to me. at least it sure looked that way. cause when i turned to my left and looked out the window, i literally saw the bolt.

it was bright.

it was LOUD.

and then my left side got very warm.

and everyone has asked me if it did anything to the plane like make us jolt or anything, but i honestly can't remember or say because we were in so much turbulence before it happened that i really don't know. but i don't think it did.

anyway, right after it happened, the guy next to me let out this horrified, "oh my god!!!" in an octave about 18 pitches higher than his regular speaking voice. and that fucking made me laugh out loud so hard. cause he was so scared. and for whatever reason, i wasn't. and then he was like, "why aren't you scared" and i said to him, "cause. what do you want me to do?! it's not like i'm flying the plane... " and then i went on and told him that it was probably his fault for sending emails the whole flight and the lightning gods were mad at him. and he laughed and pointed at the annoying girls sitting behind us.

and we both agreed that it was definitely their fault. and that the lightning was trying to strike them into shutting the hell up.



corrin said...

Lightning strikes are NOT fun!

I was on a Southwest flight from Chicago to San Francisco that was struck right after takeoff. There was a bright flash to my right and a huge boom. The pilot didn't acknowledge the strike till about a half hour later so I just kept popping Xanax till I knocked myself out.

The kicker was that right before we took off, two women quietly asked the person I was flying with if he was an air marshal because they thought one of the passengers was acting suspicious. Thank god I didn't know that little bit of the story until after we landed safely, because I would have for sure had a major meltdown.

Annnnnyway...glad that you're safe and in good spirits. You handled it much better than I did.

judy in ky said...

You are so funny! I know, I wish I could afford a private plane. If I ever win the lottery, I'm getting one.

Heather@WHMB said...

Haha, you funny. :)I think we need to author a flight etiquette book, there are so many rules that so many just don't get!

Andie said...

I remember being on a flight one time from New Orleans to NY and a Category 1 hurricane had passed through the night before and it was passing through the exact path the plane had to take to get to NY. Well, we flew "around" it and I use that term lightly because the plane was bouncing all over the place and lightning was all over around the plane. The lady next to me was Indian and she was praying in Hindu the ENTIRE time like she was TOTALLY freaked out. Fortunately, that sort of thing doesn't really freak me out- but she didn't help at all! LOL But it is pretty freaky.

btw- my word verification is "winter" - how appropo!

Katie said...

Glad you are alive and well!

But I freaking hate annoying bitches who wont shut the eff up!

Alison said...

To your mother!

The lightning strike! Maybe you'll have supernatural powers now like the character in those Charlaine Harris books. The one that knows where dead people are? Cool!

jennster said...

oooooooooh i totally want to know where dead people are!!!! but only good ones. lol

Alison said...

You would like those books. It's not the Sookie Stackhouse series...I forget the main character's name. There are only 3 or 4 books I think...

Jason, as himself said...

What a flight! I've never had lightning hit my plane, but I have definitely had to suffer through loud, annoying chatterboxes on a flight. Your description of their conversation was priceless.

Smug said...

No fun lightning strikes for me :( I always end up sitting by the huge BO guy on my flights! Fun stuff let me tell you!!

Smug said...

BTW - I think that it is the Harper Connelly series where they have the power to find the dead.

Blabbermouse said...

You. Are funny. Your description of the guy screaming? Priceless.

Suebob said...

Earplugs. They are a gift from God.

texas math said...

I freaking hate the people who take up the empty seat in between us. Sometimes I take a more drastic approach of putting my crap on top of their crap. Or, once, I put my legs up on someone's bag in the middle seat.

But mostly, I try not to let it annoy me. And I'm usually listening to music, so I rarely hear anyone if they're being annoying.