Friday, January 08, 2010

dear taco bell

our love affair began when i was a wee child. actually, i have no idea when i first ate you, but for as long as i can remember, i've been stuffing you down my face.

there's nothing like those oh so sexy college pictures where i hadn't turned into a real women yet, so i still had those super fat cheeks and a big old face- with a nacho bell grande sitting on my lap and a taco supreme in my hand.

who doesn't want a piece o' that?

i eat you constantly... so much so that my kid probably thinks you're his father. he'd go visit you everyday if i let him. (note- i don't let him.) we're a family that freaking loves the hell out of you. you're the only fast food i eat. and you sound appealing far more often that i ever want to admit (that means all.the.time.). i love you at ridiculous levels.

so i don't understand why you want to hurt me?

what did i ever do to you? i support you and love you and tell people about you and would be in a freaking commercial declaring my adoration for you if you asked me too. i'd eat taco bell everyday for a year if you wanted me too. (that's a lie)

WHY DO YOU WANT TO MAKE ME SAD?

do i deserve stale chips everytime i visit you?

do i not deserve full cups of nacho cheese for my nachos?
nacho cheese
(i mean really, what the hell is up with the half full cups of nacho cheese? clearly, 1 cup isn't enough to eat my nacho's with, which is why i buy 2 in the first place. BUT NOT BECAUSE I WANT TWO OF THEM TO REALLY EQUAL ONE. WTF BELL???)

i don't understand why you treat me so poorly. i pay you for pete's sake. you're like a really bad prostitute.

but i keep coming back.

but really, that's because you're the only taco bell in town. trust me, if there was another, i'd go. but there isn't. so you leave me no choice. it's either stale chips and never enough nacho cheese, or NO taco bell. and no taco bell is completely unfathomable to me.

so i guess you win.

i wish i could quit you. but i am totally not that strong.

16 comments:

Alison said...

Oh yum, I love Taco Bell too! Maybe not as much as you do, but now I'm craving it. Thanks a lot, Hooch! You may have gotten your obsession from Dad..."you fly, I'll buy!" :)

Grand Pooba said...

Jennster, I think it's time. You need help. Try venturing out every now and then to McDonalds or Subway. Just a little at first, then just gradually stop going to Taco Bell.

What am I saying? I love the hell out of taco bell too.

J from Ireland said...

Never tasted Taco Bell foods, hasn't reached over here yet!! Is it really so good? sounds like it is.

Gingers Mom said...

Taco Bell...I love it. And then loathe myself for having such an addictive love. But Gotta...have..my....crunchy taco! Dammit. I am hungry now.

bananas. said...

think outside the bun. not only a slogan...my life's motto. love me some taco bell but i feel your pain. those half full nacho cheeses are dissappointing...clearly.

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A said...

"¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!" :)

Remember the Taco Bell chihuahua?







-A

Annie said...

oh my goodness do i ever miss TB!!
i haven't had it forever and every time i see a commercial i practically drool ;)
i can't believe they would jip you on cheese....lame asseses!
btw, i have an obsession with all fast food, thankfully i don't eat it often but i love it all! ha!

hope you are having a great weekend love bug!! XO!

Anne said...

You should visit the "Best Taco Bell" - I was so nervous when I went there that I ordered the wrong thing. It's off the highway on the way to Breckenridge. No stale chips there!

corrin said...

Oh how I love Toxic Hell. My husband used to work there in highschool and even his nasty kitchen stories can't keep me away from a well made MexiMelt.

Summer said...

Ahhhhh, Taco Bell. Brings me back to the days in H.S. =)

Although, I will give my firstborn for a soft taco if I must.

Kay, not really.

But, maybe.

Jenna said...

Seriously on the stale. I had some T-Bell over the weekend, and I was so irritated when I took a bite of my taco supreme. It seemed more like a soft shell than a hard shell! Grrrrr....

Iva said...

omg love taco bell!!

Jason, as himself said...

"i eat you constantly... so much so that my kid probably thinks you're his father."

Now this line is a classic!

I love Taco Bell, too. But my truest love is Del Taco.

sugaredharpy said...

Ditto on the Del Taco!! SO good and we used to have one about 10 miles away and then it CLOSED. Then the one 20 miles away CLOSED. I am so sad.

So I go to Taco Bell, which I crave a lot, but it's no Del Taco. That cheese quesadilla and a taco...oh man.

J from Ireland, well, honestly NO it's not that good. It's just one of those things that you know really isn't even food but you love with the heat of a thousand fiery suns anyway.

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