Monday, November 02, 2009

apparently we're white trash

blake came home yesterday and he was pissed off. he had just gotten into a verbal argument with one of his friends. i think they tend to do this more and more the older they get.. i don't know, it just seems to happen a lot lately.

so he was telling us what happened and then he goes "he called me white trash. what is white trash? what does that even mean???" and i went through a gamet of emotions. all at once i was so sad for my little boy (who is so not little) because he was called a name he didn't understand. and then i was so happy that he had never heard that term before and wasn't familiar with such bullshit name calling. and then i was angry that his friend did know the term and felt the need to spew it onto my kid. and then i was mad some more wondering where the fuck the kid heard it from in the first place? do his parents walk around their house calling people those kinds of names? or did someone at school say it to him? i have no idea where he heard it, all i know is that now he called my kid it.

blake's little face was so sad. he was so confused and angry, but he was hurt at being called that name. and he just didn't understand it. any of it. he told me that once his friend called him that, he responded with, "yeah, whatever that even means. you are too." i had to stop myself from cracking up. i could just imagine his face trying to figure out just what the hell he was just called, and was it supposed to be a bad thing?

but today i'm still a little pissed. i mean, are we teaching and allowing our kids to talk to eachother this way? it's not that far off from calling people racist names. granted, i don't think white trash is the equivalent of some of the other horrifying words people choose to call people of other races. but still. it's offensive. it's meant to be offensive. it's meant to be hurtful. it's not said to be nice. and i'm just pissed off about it. pissed off that at that kids age (10 years old), that's how he talks. and that's how he's talking to my kid. and i don't want my kid to be around assholes who talk this way. and i know i can't control it or stop how other kids speak to my kid, but it still sucks.

i like the fact that blake had no idea what that meant. that he had never heard that term before. i liked that. you know?

13 comments:

Amanda said...

I am so sorry. Name calling and being mean is such crud. I wish it weren't such a foregone conclusion.

Maura said...

Sadly, I think the only answer is "they hear it at home." I think it's how we have the scourge of racism so many years after the time when so many people became more enlightened. Sad, angry people do indeed spew this stuff at home and their kids soak it up.

I'm sorry that happened to your son but, like you, I'm glad he hadn't learned something hurtful like that before. :-)

Becky said...

that sucks. and what sucks even more is that y'all ARE NOT white trash. just wow. poor blakey.

Kelly @ The Miller Mix said...

Ugh. So sorry Blake had to hear such garbage, but you're doing a great job with him that the best he could do was retort SO ARE YOU! I know we can't protect our littles, but never teaching them that anger/hatred/degradation is the right way to live, even if it means little punks confound them sometimes.

bostonmama79 said...

They definately hear it at home. My daughter is 9 and she's gone through it already. Little girls this age can be so horrible. I don't remember it being this way this young.

Jenna said...

That's horrible...I'm sorry to hear that. Well, let me tell you that the verbal stuff is happening at even a younger age. In our house, stupid is a bad word and my girls are 3 and 4. Last night my 4 year old told me that one of the kids (who is just a year older) said to her "Ha! Ha! You're a LOSER." I don't think my eyes bulged so much and my husband almost swerved off the road when she told us in the car. I mean, come on! In this case, I'm pretty sure it trickled down from the girls parents but I'm pretty outraged myself.

meredith :) said...

that is so sad
and so cute
and I feel all the emotions you had
U expressed it so well

awww little monkey
:(
kiss him for me

Jill said...

I can remember years ago when someone called one of the kids 'white trailer park trash" He had never heard that before but he turned around and said "YEAH well I can move but your going to be ignorant the rest of your life"......I just stood there not being able to say anything. Kid never did it again either. Just kind of stopped him ya know.....

Alison said...

Kids are MEAN. However, I firmly believe that they learn it all at home, whether it's from their parents or older siblings. But even if they're hearing it from older siblings, why aren't the parents handling it? The next time that kid says anything to Blake, just have him respond, "And you're ignorant." The kid's head will probably spin (and the parents' too!).

jarrard said...

we have a culdesac full of boys (like seven of them). some are sensitive and some are just jerks and i'm a bitch for calling a kid a jerk, but i have had my kid in my kitchen more than once telling me about the name calling out there during all kinds of pick up games. i'm also the bitch that walks right out there and takes a kid to their parents immediately and makes them call their mom or dad whatever they said. i grew up with name callers and it hurt my feelings just enough that i don't tolerate it at all. i'm sure my kid has done it, but he knows that if he does he has the wrath of me to deal with if i hear about it. tell blake to just walk away. it is hard, but it steals the other kid's thunder and then he just ends up looking like a jerk. name callers white trash - explain that to blake and hopefully he will feel better. :) mama bear is on the prowl - look out people!!!

jarrard said...

grrr - name callers ARE white trash. why can't my typing just edit itself before i post???

Heather said...

Yeah that is ridiculous a 10 yr. old has to be faced with understanding what the hell that even means.

Truth is he'll hear that and so much more as you know the older he gets. Just do the best you can with him and all those parents who arn't even trying can suck it.

Des said...

This is upsetting and no ten year old should be called such a terrible thing. And I have to respectfully disagree with you, I think it is as bad as any other racial remark. Racist remarks are meant to demean and dehumanize and calling someone white trash is an attempt to do just that. I'm so sorry for your son and I hope that he feels better.