so many people are going through the same type of issues right now. it seems like everyone i know (and many i don't know personally) are dealing with some sort of self awareness conflict. or attempt to find ones self. or find direction... or change direction.. or figure this out, or make a major life's decision on that.. or any other sort of thing, but it all boils down to the same basic concept. the same type of " internal conflict."
so to all of you who are going through this (and of course i include myself) i say the following:
life! is! short!
we all say it. we say it all the time. and sometimes we actually listen to its meaning. when we lose a friend in a tragic accident. or we know that loss is coming and we think we're dealing with it the whole time, but we're not because that person we know and love is still around us physically. and then one day they're not anymore. and for that brief moment, we grasp and understand what it truly means to realize that life is short. and it has an ending. whether we're ready for it or not.
and it can change in an instant...
in a heartbeat...
a single breath...
and we vow that we'll hold onto the feeling that we're experiencing in that moment forever. we won't forget what it feels like to feel this way. that we will start making decisions truly FOR ourselves and not let anything superficial hold us back. we won't live out of fear for the unknown. we will really LIVE! we will do what truly makes us happy because that's what life is about.
and we will live our lives with no regrets. because we all realize in that moment how quickly it can change. how we could lose it all. how our life could end and our chances to fulfill our true desires would be lost. forever.
but then we forget.
because the days all start to run into one another. and that feeling that was so strong in the beginning starts to fade with each one that passes. and the promise you made to yourself that you wouldn't forget what this felt like, starts to seem less important. and you start to tell yourself that living that way isn't realistic. you can't live without fear, because life! is! scary! and you talk yourself out of doing the things that would make you happy.
you feel trapped.
you feel enslaved.
you feel like you have no choices. and no control.
but the reality is- LIFE IS SHORT people! and it's not worth it to do things that make you miserable or unhappy. it's not worth it to spend the majority of your day (which means your freaking LIFE) at a job you hate. if you're unhappy at work, quit. it's not worth it to devote so much time and energy to something that doesn't give you anything positive in return. find something that makes you happy and go for it!!! and i don't mean just work, it's just the best example. but for everything in life. it's not worth it to be someplace, doing something, spending your time, etc doing things that don't make you happy.... because you can't get this time back. and you don't want to turn around one day wondering where the hell it all went.
and it will be scary sometimes. because the good things always are. everything that matters has some sort of risk attached to it. and it's just there to test how badly you want it. the thing is, no one is going to make your life better for you. no one else is going to make the decisions that make YOU happy. you have to do that. and you have to know that you're worth it. and that what you want is important too (we all make sacrifices for the ones we love and care for in our lives). we can't help it. we're a selfish breed. we expect others to make decisions that are good for us, but the reality is they will make the ones that are better for them.
i'm just saying. i know that life is tough. i know that sometimes it feels hard and overwhelming and the answers don't come easily. but that's okay. we all have those days. and we all get through them (or we try too!). i just want us to start living the way we really want, not just the way that pays the bills.
easier said than done right? :)