okay, so i've neglected to tell you all what i'm doing now! haha.. i'm doing phase 1 of south beach again (i did it back in january and have been able to maintain my weight this whole time- woot woot). i'm doing it because i still have these pesky and ultra annoying 10 pounds to lose. i'm sick of always feeling like i have 10 pounds to lose. so i'm going to lose these fuckers if it kills me. not really, cause i don't plan on dying. *knock on wood*
last time when i did the 2 week phase 1 thing.. i think i lost about 10 pounds. which i desperately needed cause um.. i was getting a bit too chunky for my monkey. talk about putting on the holiday pounds... i put on a small country. but it was hard. everyday was a fucking challenge. so yeah.. here i am again, doing this bullshit. i must really hate myself.
the thing that doesn't really make sense is why is it so hard? i mean, basically i'm cutting out breads, fruit and candy sugar for 2 weeks. it's not like i walk around the office with a loaf of bread in my mouth everyday, or even eat bready things all that often in the first place. ( although speaking of bread, i totally came to the realization this past weekend that it's not the bread i even want to eat.. IT'S THE BUTTER! the bread is just the excuse to eat ridiculous amounts of yummy, goodnessy, butter. omg, i love butter.) so i'm on day 4 and i've already lost 2 pounds. that's right bitches. but it is still freaking hard. not so much the bread or carby parts this time around... but i cannot STOP THINKING ABOUT CUPCAKES AND FROSTING!!!!!! it's no joke. cream cheese frosting is in my head all day long. i had a dream about it last night. i can't stop. it's all i think about.
and to further the torture.. listen to this!!!! i'm sitting in my office and my phone rings with someone from the commons (our food place at work). i answer and she goes "jenn... so and so made you a red velvet cupcake with extra extra extra cream cheese frosting on it! come down and get it!"
i hung up the phone and seriously debated on what to do. should i go down there and get it? i mean, i don't want to be rude. will i be able to get it and NOT eat it? oh lord, i shouldn't tempt myself like this.
i started walking down to the comm as if i was under a spell. my legs took me right to where i needed to go. the cupcake couldn't even be seen under the amount of frosting she had put on there for me. a piece of me died inside. there was a small blob of the frosting on the plate. i took my finger to it and dabbed a small amount into my mouth. all the while i'm yelling at myself "omg you cheater! stop it! you can do this for 2 weeks fatass, COME ON!!!"
it was soooo good.
but i knew i had to stop.
so i decided that i would walk back to my office and give it to someone, or put it in the kitchen. as i was walking, like a normal person does, the cupcake out of nowhere just tumbled off the plate it was on and onto the floor, frosting first. there was a huge ass blob of frosting all over the carpet, and this little cupcake butt sticking up. i started laughing so hard. you should have seen me trying to clean it up. it was a disaster. and so messy. and ruined. no one could eat it now.
thank the goddess!!!!!