Wednesday, September 09, 2009

detoxing. fasting. cleansing.

what the hell is the difference between the 3 anyway?

i feel like i have been beyond horrid to my body lately. i have never before in my life felt the desire or urge to do any type of cleanse or detox. but now i can't get the idea out of my head. it's like my body is telling my brain "HI. WE NEED TO CLEANSE. MAKE THAT FAT BITCH DO IT. THANKS." but i didn't want to try a cleanse without posting about it here first. i figure that maybe some of you have done one (or more) before.. and i need your advice cause i have no clue what to do.

don't tell me not to do it, cause i'm stubborn and not going to listen to that. and for every person who tells me not to do it, i'll add on another day and then before you know it i won't be eating for a bazillion days and then i'll be dead and all you commenters who cried and said "dooooooon't dooooo it sterrrrrr" will only have yourselves to blame. and who wants that kind of guilt on their conscious?

okay.. so i've been reading up on all sorts of fasts, cleanses and detox stuff. i don't want to have to do it myself. like i'm not going to do a juice fast where i have to buy a bunch of shit from the store and i have to blend it and peel off the skins, etc. too much work and i'm way too lazy for that (and apparently not THAT motivated). so then i was on gnc's website looking at their cleanses and stuff. and those look like things i could handle. probably cause it looks easier... drinks.. things you put in water.. pills. i don't want to do this for too long. i'm thinking that 7 days will be my max and that might kill me. at least for 3 days (if i can do it).

so does anyone have any advice? or anything you've done that works well and you didn't turn into a raging bitch? i swear someone posted about this not too long ago...

ps- it's 09.09.09 today. cooool. i missed the 09:09 on the clock this morning though.


Becky said...

i know a few people who did that detox where you only can have liquids and a few veggies and veggie soup. and lots of pills and tea and water. it worked for them but it cost a lot to get all the crap for it. good luck. i can't do this crap. i need carbs or i'll literally faint!

mayberry said...

I haven't done one but my friend did the Blueprint Cleanse:

mayberry said...

Sorry, I forgot to put in the tags

blueprint cleanse review

nakedjen said...

i actually really can help. did you know i'm a holistic healer and master herbalist? i am. a certified one. licensed even! LOL!

my best suggestion for you, if your body is screaming the way it is screaming, is this:

no joke.

now, i could have said: oh, jennster, let me provide you with all my magic potions. but i am not. because you want easy. and simple. and trust me. that 30 day cleanse? it's going to truly get you back into balance.

cleanses really need longer than 7 days to bring your body back into balance. i actually do one every season.

if you were truly my patient, we'd do a whole intake and figure out the best holistic, whole body approach. make it easy, truly, go do the dr. natura cleanse. i promise. it's super gentle, it's really good, and you're going to truly get the results you're hoping to achieve.

and if you have any questions or concerns at all, just email me. i'll help you out with this. i'm good like that.

jennster said...

jen- i need your email addy!!!!!

Alison said...

Don't all these cleanses and detox things make you crap all day long? I just couldn't handle that.

Where are the Reese's peanut butter cups?

Annabel said...

standard process 21-day cleanse. look on ebay. I've done it twice. Your face will be so de-puffed by the 7th day that you will keep going just because of that.