Thursday, September 24, 2009

day 1 of cleansing

so i started the cleanse this morning. remember how i asked y'all for opinions on what wouldn't kill me, and what would work, etc? well thanks to naked jen, i chose dr. natura for my very first cleanse. seriously, will you all take a minute and click onto that website, because um... there is something on there that a guy shit out that i like to call a seaweed lei. it's not seaweed. and it's definitely not something you want to wear around your neck. it's DISGUSTING! you're welcome. but seriously, if something like that is just chilling inside my stomach, i want it out! i mean, really. (i might have joked with boyfriend and told him that um, if i start crapping something like out, i'm calling him up to the bathroom so he can grab hold of it and i'll just start walking away until it's done).

omg.

i am so fucking rank.

did you all just stop reading?

no?

such brave souls (still gross right)

i was terrified that this was going to hurt my sensitive stomach so badly that i would keel over and die from cramping in the middle of a meeting at work or something. cause remember when i tried to eat a bunch of fiber before? and it hurt so bad? yeah. because of that, i have been terrified to start this cleanse. so far i've done 2 parts of the 3 part thing. tonight, i have to drink a tea. and i'm thinking that might be the part that kills me. i don't know. all i do know is that i feel awesome and my stomach doesn't hurt at all so far *knocks on wood* and i'm hoping it stays this way for the entire 30 days.

yes, i'm doing this for 30 days. maybe longer if i feel like i "need" to.

i'll randomly keep you updated. not cause i think you care, but because what if i poop out a seaweed lei of my very own? i am SO telling you guys.

15 comments:

nakedjen said...

i kept checking to see if you had started yet. and was going to pester you but thought that was taking my role of cheerleader too far.

anyway...

the tea? please drink it. it has the herbs in it that support your colon best to truly release the seaweed lei.

so, no skipping the tea.

mamabird said...

Good luck! I've done a few cleanses before and I found that the first part is the hardest and then it is easy sailing. Get a microscope and see just what is living in your seaweed! Gross, so kidding.

Alison said...

Okay, you are gross. The whole seaweed lei thing is nasty. Are you going to be posting updates like this for the next 30 days? I'll try to remember to visit your blog on an empty stomach. Hooch, you're sick!!

Moonie said...

Those pictures were special. OMG. I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep well tonight. O_o

valerie said...

You're gonna keep us posted on this adventure aren't you? if we like it or not huh?

*~* Jenni *~* said...

OK, I couldn't resist. I had to go look at the website and see the poop pictures for myself.

OMG. I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

I'm anxious to see how this works for you, because it would be nice to hear someone's experience NOT on the website. Good luck.

seaweed lei... *wretch*

Becky said...

i saw the site. that is gross. if you poop that out you HAVE to share. good luck!

Patois said...

I clicked over, but I couldn't compel myself to look through it all. I'm just going to have to keep the visual from your words in my head. Kind of like envisioning the serial killer in a book but never seeing the movie. Yeah, like that.

Jenna said...

Seriously, please document this because I want to see what happens. I saw the original post you did on wanting to do a cleanse and looked at the link that nakedjen gave and was curious (and maybe a little disgusted) by it all. I'm interested in doing a cleanse, too, so I kind of want to see how it works for you. Good luck!

Daddy Dan said...

That's fine, but no pics please!

sugaredharpy said...

Oh my gosh, I'm thinking about doing this so girl, I am listening!!

Kelly said...

I've totally done that cleanse! I didn't recommend it because I couldn't tell if it worked since I got no seaweed lei. I mean, you're sort of led to believe there's this toxic substance that is eating you alive. Only I didn't have one. Strangely disappointed! I hope you get a seaweed lei of your very own.

Heather said...

Hmmm..yeah keep us posted. No pics though!

Good luck!

Lara said...

I don't get it - how do we know that is stuff that was already in the people and is now just coming out because of the cleanse? Doesn't it make sense to consider the option that the cleanse is causing those things to appear first, then causing them to come out? I'm not saying it definitely is - I'm no scientist - just that if I have no problems with my poo looking totally normal, and then I start a weird all-fiber diet, and then I start pooping out weird looking stuff, my first thought would be that the all-fiber thing caused it. Just an alternate perspective.

Nyt said...

Thought I'd de-lurk a let you know that I'm at day 10 of Dr. Natura's cleanse. I've committed to 60 days, so I'll be doing the toxinout part during the second month. I'm an old hand at the cleansing thing, and I have to say that this one, for me, is easy as pie. Previous cleanses had me tied to the potty, pooping like a goose, or consuming so many different teas, there was no room for anything else. Then there was the pesky kidney stone incident... (brought on by a Master Cleanse).

Anyway, the tea isn't terribly bad, and actually I find it pretty weak in comparison to others I've used. I don't however, drink it hot. I let it cool off and then just guzzle it down.

Good Luck!