i'm having a pirates moment where all my hopes and dreams and super fangirl excitement is crushed to pieces after watching what i was looking forward to seeing since i heard of it's planning! i'm so sick of looking forward to sequels, just hoping for the same type of crap that was so enjoyable in the first one, only to have it be a royal load of shit.
in short, transformers 2 hurt my fucking brain and disappointed me in the same way that only a guy can.
i think the problem is that once there's a sequel... people start getting crazy. they start thinking that there has to be this ridiculously complicated plot, with about 300 billion storylines running through it the whole time. oh, and as long as you literally, sit the audience down and tell them what is going on and what needs to be done, everything will be fine.
WELL IT'S NOT FINE!
you sat me down.
you told me what had to happen and why.
but then i spent the whole fucking time trying to remember everything you just told me and attempted to keep straight just who the hell was who in the movie.. and oh yeah, that decepticon has red eyes, but he's not bad.. and oh that one is going to be good now because he wants to hump megan fox's leg.
you heard me.
i have a splitting headache and i can only assume that it is because of this movie. i wanted to love it. i wanted it to be just as fun as the first one. i like watching robots fight eachother and kick ass. i like action stuff. plus, ilm does amazing visual effects. i love the stuff they do more than a 17 year old loves megan fox's ass. and i like shia a lot. i think he's naturally funny and i really like his acting style. actually, i want to be friends with him so i'm making that happen.
can we please stop trying to make everything so damn complicated? stop trying so hard. i think that's when you lose the fun. you try too hard to make it funny. you can't force humor. it's not funny that way. and when you try to make the plot SO involved, it just becomes convoluted and there's no point for all of that. hell, that movies story probably could have been broken up into 4 different movies. when you try too hard to be everything to everyone, you end up being like this movie- a headache i just want to go away (but give me bumblebee).
have we learned something from this? please tell me we've learned something from this. KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID. use the same recipe from the first one and stick with it. if the first movie was funny because of SUBTLE (not lines like "i am under his scrotum") humor, than keep doing that. the hanging balls probably would have been funnier had they not been pointed out. the storyline didn't take a notebook to follow and red eyes were bad, non red eyes were good. stop confusing me!
i have to stop before my head exlodes...
this? this is probably the best, funniest, and truest freaking Q&A about transformers 2 i've read yet. laughing.out.loud.