Thursday, May 21, 2009

say you die tomorrow...

i know it's a morbid thought, but really.... say you died tomorrow. would you be happy with how you were living your life up to that point? or are there things you would have changed? wished you did differently?

look, nickelback is lame, i know. but their latest song "if today was your last day" always makes me think. not about how awful his voice is and how he could almost ruin a song just by singing it, but about the words... the lyrics.. what he's singing about. okay i'll admit it, i don't loathe nickelback- but .. ugh, they are not the point of this post! the song.. the song about living your life the way you want too. doing the things you want to be doing. ARE YOU DOING THEM?

everytime the song comes on the radio, i sit in my car thinking about if i died tomorrow, would i be happy with how my life was? would i be satisfied and feel like i was doing everything my true self wanted to be doing? and i think no, i wouldn't... because i'm not.

look, i think for the most part, a lot of us aren't doing the things we would like to be doing. i think we often play it safe. and for good reason. we're scared to make changes. we're scared to take risks. we're scared we might fail. we're scared it might be too hard. we're afraid that it's not the right time to take certain chances.... but really, when is it ever the right time? we can always convince ourselves that too many things are in the way. it's easier to talk ourselves out of taking risks. that there are too many what if's. it's easier to do what's comfortable. even when you know deep down that you want more... or different.. or something else. you convince yourself that your reasons for staying put are good ones. and i'm not saying they aren't, BUT... what reason is possibly good enough to give up on your dreams and your wants? is it your kids? your family? your sick mom?

what would they want? would they want you to give up on who you are, or would they want you to go for it and at least try? change is scary. trying to make your dreams a reality is even scarier. there are times when something has been a dream for so long that the thought of it actually coming true is the most terrifying part. it's almost like you don't know how to feel. you're so used to feeling the want of the dream, that you don't know how to contemplate the having it.

anyway, life is short. you aren't guaranteed a tomorrow. so stop putting off the scary things you want for the day that may not get here. i have goals. i have dreams. i have big things i want to do. and i'm going to start doing them. and i'm scared to death.

13 comments:

russ said...

Jennster - I have been thinking this very thing this past week!

Wow, that was awkward said...

This is why complacency sets in so easily. As a pretty big risk taker myself, I am also guilty of complacency. I think maybe there is a sanity balance involved too. I dunno. This is a philosophical topic. I think I'll go prank call someone.

jennster said...

i just think it's SO MUCH EASIER in life to play it safe.. in every aspect. but playing it safe doesn't keep you happy. doesn't fulfil you..... you know????

russ- totally merc retrograde, you know? and i'm totally not surprised. :)

wow- LOL.. you crack me up. hope your call is better than blakes!

Becky said...

what's on your list of to dos?!

BeautifulWreck said...

I have thought about this alot for the past thirteen years. Thirteen years ago my brother died at 19. Around this time six other prominent family members died, even my mother. Life is short. While I have regrets, I am not sure I would change much of anything. Sure there are things I wish I would have done, and could do now, but overall, even on the darkest of days, I am satisfied with how life has turned out.
People take so much for granted, and people do often take the safe route when really they should just spread their wings and take the plunge.

NGS said...

Damn it. I really need to convince my husband we need a dog. It would really make me happy.

Alison said...

1. Move back to Southern California

Am I right? :) Get your ass down here!

P.S. As for me, I am not happy that I didn't just pick up the damn phone and vote for Adam, because WTF????

moi said...

Hey, thanks for dropping by Moi's blob! I would add to your most excellent post the words "realistically attainable dream." 'Cause I really, really, really want to grow up to be either Courtney Love or Julia Child. Not gonna. Happen.

Anonymous said...

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Tuesday Girl said...

Playing it safe is overrated! I am trying to do one thing that scares the hell out of me a month. It is all part of growing as a person.

Andie said...

Jenn, I wrote a post similar to this not too long ago. (i quoted ryan reynolds in van wilder) - but seriously... it is how I live my life now. I try to live my life as full as I can.

and i loathe nickelback, but that song does have a good message.

Anonymous said...

Jenn. Please write another blog. I miss you.

Spidey said...

I totally inspired this, didn't I? lol