Friday, April 10, 2009

protecting my bear cub

i know you've heard by now about precious maddie spohr passing away. my heart breaks and aches for heather and mike. to help, read here.. and here. and thank you. what a wonderful community we are. it's been nothing short of amazing and absolutely heartwarming to see the sheer amount of people stepping up in this time of need for people they may have never even met in "real" life. blogland- you inspire me.

in situations like these, i instantly think of myself and my own child and how absolutely devastated i would be if anything ever happened to him. and how the only time where i truly feel animalistic urges come out inside me is when blake is in "danger." i feel like i turn into a fucking mama bear who will kill or maim anyone who comes near or threatens to harm her cub. it's almost uncontrollable. being a mom makes you an animal.

i remember this one time when i was at the mall with my mom. blake was probably around 2 years old. we were at the jewelry counter and blake was walking and putting his hands on the jewelry case to brace himself and just wandering around. well he walked in front of this older lady and i'm pretty sure he knocked into her. not hard at all- just probably more annoying than anything. but that fucking bitch PUSHED him. and i lost.my.shit. i felt this rage inside me well up and i wanted to beat the living shit out of this woman. like HOW DARE SHE not only touch my child, but SHOVE him to the point of almost falling over. he was a little kid. and he wasn't hers to touch. and he didn't deserve it. it was so long ago that i can't remember what was specifically said, but i do remember yelling something super mature like, "don't you fucking touch my kid!!"

i just remember the feelings. being SO angry. feeling like an animal- literally. like i could tear this woman from limb to limb if i had too. and would.. willingly if it meant keeping my son safe.

has there ever been a time where the mama (or papa) bear was brought out in you? tell me about it.






9 comments:

SUEB0B said...

Well you know I don't have kids, but I have it in me. One night my folks and I were waiting at a crowded restaurant. The hostess said "Next?" and this woman stepped around my mom, who was clearly there first, and said "Yes, table for four."

Well, you might be able to do that to ME - I would probably just laugh at what a bitch you were - but YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO MY MAMA, an 80-something little lady!

I said to the hostess, "No, we were next" and gave the woman the Glare of Death. I locked eyes with her and did not blink for what felt like an hour. I didn't get up in her because my folks hate scenes and I do too. But. If looks could have killed, she would be dead, dead!

Cagey said...

After becoming a parent, I am simply amazed there is not more vigilante action on the part of victimized children. Seriously. If someone hurts my kid in a serious manner, my husband (the peacemaker worthy of Ghandi) will have to physically restrain me.

When I was a kid, I had 2 major incidences where my dad headed for his gun - an inappropriate neighbor (who was lucky to have lived, save for my mom talking sense into my dad) and once when a dog was attacking me (my dad was afraid of shooting me, so he held off on shooting the dog).

I have not had incidences with adults harming my child, but I have had times where a kid was being mean to Arun. I had no qualms about getting in that kid's face and telling him to back the fuck off from my kid. I have no problems doing that because if Arun was being mean to another kid, I would be in HIS face telling HIM to back the fuck off. I call it the Golden Rule of Parenting. Heh.

Kristabella said...

I don't have kids, but I get that protective of my niece and nephews.

One time, I was at the park with my niece and I was pushing her on the swing. This little annoying brat on the swing next to her started throwing rocks. At first I thought he was throwing rocks at the air, and then I realized he was AIMING at my niece.

I LOST IT. I told him to stop, looked at his nanny, who was just chatting on the phone totally oblivious, and then I slapped his hand. Because if she would have been hit by a rock, I might have slapped the kid in the face.

Jenna said...

I've been reading about the Maddie thing everywhere, and my heart just continues to break and of course I think of my own kids.

As a matter of fact, I yelled at a woman last weekend at Costco. My girls were riding on the outside of the cart - standing up and holding onto the edge and putting their heads back to look upside down. It was crowded of course, as Costco always is on the weekends, and there was a small aisle way to get through. There was a woman on the other side waiting not so patiently and so at first we nearly collided and then I tried to move out of her way but her cart bonked one of my girls on the head. I got so pissed off that as she was passing by and was on my immediate side, I slurred, "Thanks for hitting my daughter on the head, bitch. Next time wait your damn turn." My voice was low enough so the girls didn't hear it but loud enough so she did. Oh, I was SO MAD. While no damage was done to my daughter because she is so durable, I couldn't just stand by and let it go. Mama bear, totally.

Mbdiamond said...

I've also never had to get in an adult's face about the treatment of my child (save for a militant kindergarten teacher...long story), but I did lose my shit on a couple of little girls.

Little girls, around the ages of 8 & 9, a great-neice and her side-kick, a daughter of the friend of the family.

We were out of town at the wedding reception of other family members and all of the children were playing in and around the community centre where it was being held. I was standing outside the kitchen door watching them when one of the girls (not the neice) kicked my 7 year old autistice son in the balls. HARD and for absolutely no reason that I could see. One minute they were standing there facing each other (him with a smile on his face), and the next she just booted him - maybe showing off for the older kids, who knows.

But the scream that ripped from my throat was pure animal. Rage and venom and violence as I charged across the field to where they were standing. I screamed at them that what she'd done was something you NEVER do to a boy - never. I showered shame on them as I ran to my crumpled son's side and tried to sooth his sobs.

They were terrified. I'm sure no adult had ever verbally assaulted them the way I did that day.

I went back inside after and told the parent what their child had done to my boy, innocent and so much younger than his years - and I told her how I'd reacted to the girls. But I did NOT apologize.

Little bitches.

J from Ireland said...

At the park one day years ago, a woman tried to lift my son out of a swing because her child wanted a go. I lost my shit and told her to get her fucking hands off my child and how dare she. I was so angry. Its a mothers natural reaction, I think.

Nora said...

Wow. I can totally relate. Had the same thing happen to my son when he was 2.Must be something about that age where they just like to run aimlessly.

He ran into a (drunk) old man and the man YELLED at my son and shoved him. Dad told old man to "chill out, he's only 2, it was an accident." I think it's over so I duck into a store to buy my son a "treat" to take the attention off drunk old man and wonder why a crowd of people start moving briskly in the direction of my child.

When I turn my back for 10 seconds, drunk old man starts calling my (2 year old) son nasty names, gets punched in the face by dad (hopefully 2 yr old was busy running into people and didn't see), and we all lived happily ever after (and managaed to escape before the police came).

If LAPD is reading this, this is a total ficticious comment just trying to show commenting support on jennster's blog.

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Thanks again!

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