i don't know what happens to me when i go to lunch with these people.... but apparently, things.happen. stupid things happen. like i turn into a monkey whose only job is to do stupid monkey tricks to make the table laugh.
things like... i end up snorting splenda. yeah, you read that right. i.snorted.splenda.
i opened a package of it.. took the trust knife and i sliced and diced the splenda like i'm certain a true cokehead would (or like i 've seen it done in movies and stuff- hollywood is SO good for something)... then i took my straw, stuck it up one nostril, held the other closed and SNORTED THE SPLENDA.
it immediately went into my throat. then not long after it was in my chest. i think i coughed. i'm probably dying right now as i type this.
i'm an idiot.
and this is just one of the many reasons you shouldn't be friends with me. or at least be seen with me in public.