Wednesday, February 18, 2009

i snorted white stuff during lunch

i don't know what happens to me when i go to lunch with these people.... but apparently, things.happen. stupid things happen. like i turn into a monkey whose only job is to do stupid monkey tricks to make the table laugh.

things like... i end up snorting splenda. yeah, you read that right. i.snorted.splenda.

i opened a package of it.. took the trust knife and i sliced and diced the splenda like i'm certain a true cokehead would (or like i 've seen it done in movies and stuff- hollywood is SO good for something)... then i took my straw, stuck it up one nostril, held the other closed and SNORTED THE SPLENDA.

it immediately went into my throat. then not long after it was in my chest. i think i coughed. i'm probably dying right now as i type this.

i'm an idiot.

and this is just one of the many reasons you shouldn't be friends with me. or at least be seen with me in public.

9 comments:

Don't Lick The Ferrets! said...

Hey, at least you weren't snorting the creamer. I don't use Splenda, but don't touch my creamer!

Chris O said...

awww, now you're sweet on the inside too. Or make that fake sweet on the inside.

Sunshine said...

Ozzy Osbourne called while you were at lunch and said you guys have a date later.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Can I just ask you ... WHY?

jennster said...

you COULD ask why, but what would be the fun in that!??! lol

Alison said...

I'm not the least bit surprised.

Dana said...

why is that this whole scenario doesn't surprise me, but makes me laugh hysterically?

you flippin' rock. yeah, snorting splenda is stupid, but totally funny. :)

so wish i was there to see that!

Gini said...

OK - that shit makes you choke when you accidently inhale some of the wisps of sweetener that fly around once you open the little package - I can only imagine if you are intentionally inhaling it - that had to have hurt!

Anonymous said...

I sniffle saltwalter when I have a cold. Feels sorta like when you get water up your nose while swimming. :p Not so fun. But it sure helps! Ahem. Sorry for the gross-out....