i don't know what happens to me when i go to lunch with these people.... but apparently, things.happen. stupid things happen. like i turn into a monkey whose only job is to do stupid monkey tricks to make the table laugh.
things like... i end up snorting splenda. yeah, you read that right. i.snorted.splenda.
i opened a package of it.. took the trust knife and i sliced and diced the splenda like i'm certain a true cokehead would (or like i 've seen it done in movies and stuff- hollywood is SO good for something)... then i took my straw, stuck it up one nostril, held the other closed and SNORTED THE SPLENDA.
it immediately went into my throat. then not long after it was in my chest. i think i coughed. i'm probably dying right now as i type this.
i'm an idiot.
and this is just one of the many reasons you shouldn't be friends with me. or at least be seen with me in public.
9 comments:
Hey, at least you weren't snorting the creamer. I don't use Splenda, but don't touch my creamer!
awww, now you're sweet on the inside too. Or make that fake sweet on the inside.
Ozzy Osbourne called while you were at lunch and said you guys have a date later.
Can I just ask you ... WHY?
you COULD ask why, but what would be the fun in that!??! lol
I'm not the least bit surprised.
why is that this whole scenario doesn't surprise me, but makes me laugh hysterically?
you flippin' rock. yeah, snorting splenda is stupid, but totally funny. :)
so wish i was there to see that!
OK - that shit makes you choke when you accidently inhale some of the wisps of sweetener that fly around once you open the little package - I can only imagine if you are intentionally inhaling it - that had to have hurt!
I sniffle saltwalter when I have a cold. Feels sorta like when you get water up your nose while swimming. :p Not so fun. But it sure helps! Ahem. Sorry for the gross-out....
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