Wednesday, December 31, 2008

why i love my nephew

cause he reads my blog and he writes me comments that say this:

"aunt jenn!!!!!

you are ridiculous...you are not fat at all. thats the stupidist thing i've ever heard. i have sat here the whole day (except while i was at work) and read all your blogs or whatever they are called and this one is RIDICULOUS. i know i am 16 and what do i know but i think you are being very dumb. haha

i know how girls think about their weight becuase i am 16 and yes all i hear from girls my age is how fat they are. but you are gorgeous and anyone will agree with that. you have fun being who you are ( a.k.a my crazy aunt) and YOU ARE NOT A FAT ASS.

p.s mom would be mad if she heard me say the "a" word. haha"


thank you achoo for making me cry. and thanks for writing this. i love you. and yeah, what do you know? you're 16, skinny, hot, and a MALE. hahhaa.. so kidding (kind of). not kidding about the thank you part. you are awesome. come visit!

and ps- sister of mine... don't get mad at him for saying "ass." he could be saying far worse.. you know, like fuck. just be thankful he isn't a foul mouthed hoodlum like his aunt. :)

achoo and ster

Monday, December 29, 2008

let's talk ipods!

i know that i'm still one of the last people on earth without a laptop.. we've already established that.

but did you know that i'm also probably one of the last people on earth who doesn't own an ipod? of any kind. no i-nothing (wait, does that mean i own an i-something?). you see, i never saw the need for one before. i didn't understand just when the hell i'd use the damn thing. i didn't get it.

sometimes my idiocy impresses me.

well after this weekend with my brother... i finally fucking get it. and now i want one. BAD. like yesterday! i want one for the car. i want to have a shitload of music on it, so that i don't have to pick and choose which cd's to bring with me. i want to have them ALL with me!!!!! and i guess i can stop buying cd's right? and i can just buy them online (which i will admit is a really weird concept to me cause i really like having the case and seeing the pictures and reading the thank you's and all that stuff)...

so know i want one. but i know nothing about them. okay, i know a little. should i just get the main one that has the most memory since my main usage for it will be to store TONS.OF. MUSIC? or what?

do help!

and thanks! :)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

typical kid, or terrible kid raiser (that's me)

so last night we went to dinner at the in-laws place. we means myself, boyfriend and the spawn of satan- aka, blake. my mother in law always makes these super cute placecards for every holiday type meal we do at their house. she just writes our names on the cards, nothing fancy or anything, but still totally her.

well we're all sitting in our respective places when blake says out of nowhere (and i mean, we've already eaten half our dinner, the name card has been sitting there for him to see and acknowledge for at least half an hour..)

"who wrote my name on this?"

now i'm just assuming he wants to know who wrote his name, right? i have no idea where the kid is going with this.

boyfriend's mom tells him that she wrote it, to which spawn of satan (sos) responds with, "it looks just like my writing."

okkkkkk... whatever. but he doesn't stop. he then follows up with, "it's really sloppy."

OH.MY.GOD.

of course we all started busting up laughing, but i was horrified and probably beat fucking red.

and blake was like "what? it is."

omg, someone make this kid STOP talking!!

i made blake apologize for being so rude and i tried to explain to him on the way home that there are things we think in our heads, but don't say out loud. i'm not sure he got the concept.

please please tell me that this is just normal 10 year old behavior and i'm raising a total heathen. cause i'm seriously questioning my parenting abilities here.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Friday, December 19, 2008

have kitchen, will bake.

so last night... good lord, last night- i was baking for HOURS. my back hurt. it's hard to stand for that long with the weight that is my ass on me. really! you try it!

so i baked. mostly because today is like the gift giving day in the office, so i wanted to bake for my peeps. and also because stupid skinny ali martell posted this unbelievable peanut butter ball recipe and when i saw them, i had to have them. and so i did. i will tell you that i left out the pecan and didn't use the wax and they came out unbelievable. oh yeah, i cut the recipe in half too and they still made a bazillion and a half. oh yeah, yeah... i also dipped them in white chocolate cause i'm awesome and creative like that.

candy!

they're delicious.
for shizzy.
way better than any buckeye recipe in the world.
make them.
send some to me.
don't really.
my ass is big enough.

okay, so i baked and we have a pot luck at work today and i really have so much work to do because a certain company that shall not be named apparently hates me and wants to make my life a living hell, so i have reports for an entire year to get done. said company that hates me waited until 2 days ago to inform me that the reports have been wrong the entire year i've been working on them. i think the company is a bunch of fucking pricks who could have told me this information i dunno.... 9 months ago?!?!?!?! but who am i to go an get all logical on said company?!?! ugh.

so yeah. i swear i had something else juicy to tell you, but i think my brain is full of peanut butter.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

not made for the cold

since everyone looks at me like i am a complete jackass everytime i tell them this story, i figured i'd share the story with all of you. i mean, why keep my utter jackassness all to myself?

listen up bitches, i am not made for the cold. i'm not made for ice. i'm not made for snow. i like to visit these things. briefly. i don't own a jacket. i barely own things with sleeves. i do not like being cold for long periods of time (unless i know i get to eventually leave). so imagine my surprise when i walked outside in the morning and my car was completely frozen over. like the fucking thing looked like an ice ball.

my windshield? iced.over. so what do i think to do? well i thought, i'll turn on the hose and spray water on it, and maybe that will loosen up the ice so i can turn on my windshield wipers and get the ice off. but when i went to turn on my hose... well.. it was frozen too. it even had an ice piece hanging out of it. weird.

now this is the part of the story where people tell me i'm an idiot. they all tell me that adding water to ice, just makes more ice. like dur jennster, how can you be so winter-tarded? but really, i thought it could make the other ice move so i could get it off. really, is this not at all logical? is this where my blondeness shows? or my non wintery ways are ever so apparent?

i don't care that i'm a fucking idiot when it comes to winter stuff. that just reaffirms the fact that i should always be somewhere warm. where ice never happens and things just melt all the time.

hmph.

too much frozen ness

and yes, i consider this frozen on my car. stop laughing all you real winter people.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

remember when we bought a house?

can you believe it's almost been a freaking YEAR since we bought this house we live in?!?!?! a year!!! good lordy, time flies!

anyway, i know i never talk about the house cause well... it's just always unfinished, or in the midst of being redone, and there's never much to say. it seems like we have lots of projects ongoing, but nothing ever gets completed. you know?!

and i just got boyfriend all riled up about the kitchen! we talked about how we'd like to get some additional cabinets, and extend the countertop to create a bar seating area in the kitchen (as well as WAY more workable countertop space). next thing i know, he's online at home depot and lowes (attention home depot and/or lowes. send us money and we'll buy all our remodeling stuff from your store. hear me? do it. i dare you. hear that? it's a dare.) pricing out do it yourself cabinets and all sorts of stuff.

but listen, we still need new windows. i mean, every window in the damn place needs to be replaced. and that's kind of where my head is at in terms of priorities when it comes to the no money we have to do all of these things with. then the kitchen would be super fun to remodel and do ourself. i think. maybe not. eventually, flooring. and remodel the master bathroom. hopefully not ourselves.

the thing about this house... the thing that all you people (and every person in the free world) has said to us over and over again? everyone says it takes time. you take one step at a time, on project at a time... and slowly, but surely, everything gets done. blah blah NO! i'm sick of how long it's taking. it's annoying that it's almost been a year and we still have SO much to do. it sucks not having any money to do things with. it sucks more that you buy a fixer upper because that's truly all you can afford, but then you don't have the money to fix up the fixer upper, so it just sits there.... all unfixed and shit.

it's frustrating to spend your money on a mortgage and not have extra money to do stuff with because all the do it yourself stuff? still super expensive. all the materials add up quick and before you know it, you're spending a lot of money trying to save money. not to mention the amount of time it takes to actually do these things yourself. that's my biggest gripe. i feel like we haven't relaxed since we bought this house. like every single weekend is either baseball for blake and we're out of town, or we're doing something on the house. the amount of time we spend working on the house just isn't worth it to me. cause it seriously gets to the point where it's not fun anymore. it's a chore. and not a chore you enjoy. know what i mean?

so i made boyfriend make a pact with me. our next house. NOT a fixer upper. that shit will be fixed. and i will have a master bathroom that makes grown ups weep with joy. and a backyard that no one will want to leave because it's so.damn.awesome.

and it will be somewhere warm. and i will be happy.

Monday, December 15, 2008

xmas party pics!

the theme this year was winter carnival and it was super fun and cute! there were carnival games! and snow!! and SNOW CONES! and COTTON CANDY!!! and caricature drawings! and ice stuff- like an ice bar with shots in ICE shot glasses! that was super cool (drink the blue shot, not the red shot). and a chair made out of ice that you could sit on and get wet and freeze your arm off if you accidentally leaned on it while you took your picture. and a ride!!! a ride that you would totally puke on if you were drunk enough (i wasn't). this is the one party a year that i really look forward to and love from work. so yeah....

ster eoin

ice shot in an ice shot glass

gregg and jenn

girls bw

ej bw

boyfriend ster

snowy eoin bw

Thursday, December 11, 2008

i'm tired of being a fat ass

i really am. and nothing is more depressing than trying to find new clothes that fit over my fat ass.

look, getting older sucks. being a WOMAN and getting older is even more suckier. it's true that once you hit 30 everything changes. whatever worked to lose weight before, does not work anymore. whatever took 1 week to work, now takes at least 4 times as long to get the same results. it's frustrating. it's hard. and it sucks. and it keeps getting harder with each year you add to that 30 mark.

i'm tired of working out and getting no results. it's very unmotivating to work out and work out hard and feel good about the work out, but not see anything from it. I HAVE TO SEE RESULTS TO KEEP WANTING TO BUST MY ASS THIS WAY. not that difficult of a concept.

the other thing? i don't want to have to fucking starve myself to lose weight. and seriously, that's what i feel like i have to do. i feel like i have to be hungry for most of the day. i definitely have to go to bed hungry. otherwise, it just doesn't work. i can't eat kinda healthy and kinda crappy and work out and be happy with my body. you might be able too, but i can't. like it doesn't work for me. and i want it too. i want to eat some junk food. i want to eat good food too, but i also want to eat junk. and i want that to be okay. i want to be able to work it off and still feel like how i look is awesome. but i don't feel that way. and i feel like i just keep getting chunkier. and i totally hear this guy in my head who said to someone about me 6 months after i'd had blake, "she looks like she's eaten one too many cheeseburgers."

i'm not normally the girl they say that shit about.
or maybe i am.
maybe i'm just not normally the girl who gives a fuck.

but lately, i can't get that cheeseburger comment out of my head. if i had one too many cheeseburgers 10 years ago, just imagine how many more it looks like i've eaten now.

i'm just tired of being so unhappy with how i look. if it's this difficult now, and if it's only going to keep getting more and more difficult with age- am i seriously going to be dealing with this shit forever?! like until i die?! cause i don't want to live like that. i don't want to have my whole adult life marred by the constant struggle to feel good about how i look. because it's not fun. and i'm sick of it. and i hate it. and i just want what i do at the gym to work. i want to see results when i work out. i don't want it to be THIS hard to lose weight. and it is for me. and i just don't understand why it has to be this way?! and why can't it be easier? and why do i have to fucking starve myself to lose 20 pounds? and will i have to do that shit forever? because if i do starve myself to lose the 20 pounds (and by starving i do not literally mean starve.. i mean, just barely consume any fucking calories) i can't live like that forever. i mean, eventually.. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO EAT REAL FOOD. right?! and then what? the weight comes back?! a

just tell me what works. give me advice. if you struggle, and i mean really struggle with your weight, just talk to me here. if it's 1o pounds, 20.. or 100 you need to lose. how do we lose it and keep it lost?!?

ps- all this talk about being fat, and feeling fat, and just loathing myself.. know what it makes me want to do? eat.chocolate. yeah. how fucked up is that?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

holy sick

yesterday i was so sick i thought i was dying. there is one nasty pukey flu bug going around and it attacked my house with a vengence. me and blake were puking all night and day. i could barely move. it hurt to get out of bed. to uncurl my body from the fetal position i was holding it in. it was awful.

i wish it on no one.

and although i'm a 100 times better today, i'm still kinda woozey from the whole non eating, dehydration thing.

so i'll be back!

Monday, December 08, 2008

blogland giveaway round up!

hi everyone! it's definitely holiday time in blogland! there are so many giveaways currently going on out there, that i thought it would be kinda cool to have them all in one place! so i'm going to list all the ones that i know about, and if you know of any others, please post them in the comments section and i'll add them here! sound good? i thought so!

so off to contest-land! and good luck everyone!!!

there is a HUGE HP giveaway currently going on on 50 different blogs, during various timeframes.. the lovely MOOSH currently has her contest running now! i think it ends tomorrow, so hurry up! she also has a link to all the other blogs participating in the contest. you'll have to visit them to see if they have their contest up yet, or when it starts!

the amazing suebob (aka red stapler) has the best contest ever going on! it's the ugly sweater contest! post a picture of your ugliest sweater and win a $50 dollar gift card!!

sweatpantsmom is having a video game giveaway over at her blog! who doesn't want more reasons to keep your kid out of your hair?!?!!

mom-e-centric is having a 12 days of christmas giveaway each day, for 12 days! head on over today to see what's on the list!

did you know that we have some hot bloggers in blogland? well we do. and apparently they're on a calendar (i'm tempted to make the hot blogger reject calendar). dawniemom is giving one away at her blog! go now!

mothergoosemouse is giving away a WII and WII fit!!!!!!!! awesome right?!?!! go get you some fitness!

mommypie is giving away a pair of crocs! like those shoes? then go win em!

dirt & noise has a couple free giveaways currently running! one is a build-a-bear! awww..

lori at a cowboys wife is ALWAYS giving stuff away! she is currently giving away a $500 suckmart gift card. i'd enter, but i hate fartmart so much, i wouldn't spend free money there. lol. but i understand if you would. i'm just a bitch like that.

oooh, a $50 dollar gift card! I WANT THAT, so don't enter. or i guess you can. sheri is giving one away here!

mom central is having a bunch of giveaways too! all sorts of fun stuff!

Friday, December 05, 2008

another update from the road

i am in la now and to say that the weather is amazing is an understatement. i have the ac on in my rental. . . which by the way drives so damn nice and is so sensitive to every touch it is making me look like a 16 year old just learning how to drive. makes me realize how old sam (my jeep) is.

anyway, it's not just the weather that makes it so awesome down here..... it's everything. i LOVE being surrounded by my industry. it is everywhere here and i love and miss that so much.

anyway, off to work.

xoxo & warm breezes

why people in the airport suck

there is a guy sitting directly behind me right now. he is on the phone. he is talking about how sick he is and how sick he has been. "it started with a fever and a sore throat and went from there...." his son has it now too. his son is also behnd me. he is turned around so that he is facing my direction. don't ask me y. he probably wants to breath all over me and give me his gross sckness. listen up assholes, if you are sick in the fucking airport there is no need to announce it okay? keep that shit to yourself. cause i wouldn't care so much that u insist on breathing all over and around me if i didn't know you were dying with some disease. ugh.

carry on.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

what one place do you want to visit?

is there one place in the world that you're drawn too, and you're not sure why? or maybe you're drawn there and you do know why... i'm curious where is the one place you'd like to visit before you die? do you have that feeling, or am i the only freak? nah, there are way more freaky people out there. i'm sure you're drawn to a place you've never been too, right?

for me, i've always been inexplicably drawn to the south. i have my beliefs as to why i think that is, and for now i'll be selfish and keep them to myself. besides, they involve things like past lives, and the civil war, etc. things you don't want to hear me babble on about- but really, the south isn't the reason for this post. cause the south is easy to visit and get too.

the reason for this post... the one place in the world that i must go to before i die... have to see because i have art depicting it all over my house... is italy. i'm dying to go to italy. dying to take it all in. i guess mostly northern italy (although i'm sure southern italy is just as spectacular). i must see venice before it freaking sinks. and lake como. i am just so drawn to italy and everything about it, that even if i never realize the reason for it, i still have to go there. i want to get lost there (not literally). i can't explain why. i have no reason why. i'm not italian, don't have family there, no rational exlanation as to why i'm drawn there. yet still. it's the one place i have to go to.

what about you? what's your italy?

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

britney's circus

i bought brit's new cd this morning.... yes, i love britney. you can suck it cause i think she rocks. the only time i refused to buy one of her cd's was the last one. she was way too fucking crazy and totally off her rocker. i couldn't support her. i couldn't give her money when she was that out of control. seriously. i'm super moral like that. ha

but now- NOW!!!! her new cd is super fun and kinda dancey, but.... there are some songs on there where her voice is really different and the tone doesn't sound like her normal voice. and they sound awesome, but i was driving thinking to myself "omg, how is she going to sing like this in concert?! i mean, she probably can't make her voice do this naturally and it's probably all studio adjusted, so is she just going to sing in her natural pitch... " and then it hit me. DUMBASS. she doesn't sing live in her concerts! god, i'm so stupid sometimes. she'll just lip sync, dur.

speaking of lip syncing... if she's going to continue doing this because she can't sing and dance at the same time (or really sing)... she's going to need to step up her dance performance. what is with her lately?! she barely dances in womanizer, or circus. it's weird. she does a lot of walking and some very simple dance moves, but it's almost like she lacks all confidence. she doesn't have the fierceness i've grown to love when watching britney dance. she moves without her normal ownage of the stage. i want the old confident britney back. watching her dance was like watching a dog eat peanut butter. fun. and entertaining. so i hope she gets whatever is missing back. i feel like her rehearsals are more fierce and hot than her live performances..... which is just wrong all over.

come on britney. get fierce. dance your ass off! bring it!

Monday, December 01, 2008

did i tell you what i did on black friday?

when i heard that the outlets were opening at midnight, i got all excited! see, i've never done the crazy black friday shopping thing before. ever. and i thought that midnight was easy enough, cause i just wouldn't go to sleep and i could just pretend i was out dancing at a club and staying up til midnight to GO SHOPPING would be super easy! right? right.

so i'm doing everything i can to entertain myself before midnight rolls around. cause i'm obvioulsy not out at a club dancing where i never know what time it is until the stupid lights come on and they tell you that you and all your drunk companions have to leave the club and get on the road and attempt to drive home without killing someone (don't drink and drive. this message brought to you by jennster cause i care and some drunk asshole killed my friend, so yeah. don't be a drunk asshole. unless you're taking public transportation, than asshole away.) someone should have a coffee stand outside of clubs you know? and pretzels too. with cheese. yum. now i'm hungry.

okay.. so i drove the outlet and holy shit, it was like a parade. cars at the stoplight backed up as far as i could see. the parking lot was FULL. the outlet mall was PACKED. and when i rounded the corner to the fabulous and amazing coach store, i found myself staring at a line of about 150 people. was there a ride i was missing out on? was i at disneyland? was someone giving away free wii's? no. it was just to go into the coach store. that was the only store with a line. the rest of the mall was barely crowded. but the coach store. holy shit. i thought about standing in line. i think i actually might have. for about 5 minutes until i realized that my life was better spent sleeping, or dreaming, or reading twilight.

so i left. and i laughed cause i thought it was still kind of fun that i went to go do that. i wasn't done yet either. i was going home to sleep until target opened at 6. hell i don't even know what i wanted at target either- i think i just wanted to take part in the whole black friday thing. it was stupid. i mean, there were a ton of people at the target too. all dumb and standing outside in the freezing cold. i stared at them from the warmth of my car. i also thought that i was going to be really pissed off if i woke up a few hours later cause i fell asleep still in my dang car. i didn't fall asleep. i managed to get inside target and i think i sleepwalked around the store. i barely remember being there. and the whole time i was thinking to myself "why am i here again??"

so yeah. i did the whole black friday thing. and i never have to do it again. but i'm happy i did it and experienced it and realized that people are really crazy and totally get into the whole shopping thing and stuff.... which is kinda fun. maybe it would have been more fun if i wasn't alone? i think probably shopping with a friend would have made a difference you know? someone to laugh at people with. someone to make sure i didn't fall asleep in my car with. someone to tell me to just shut off my alarm and go back to sleep cause the store will not have anything that day you won't be able to get the next. and plus, online shopping is way easier- as long as you don't have to pay for shipping that is.

so what was i saying again?!