Thursday, December 18, 2008

not made for the cold

since everyone looks at me like i am a complete jackass everytime i tell them this story, i figured i'd share the story with all of you. i mean, why keep my utter jackassness all to myself?

listen up bitches, i am not made for the cold. i'm not made for ice. i'm not made for snow. i like to visit these things. briefly. i don't own a jacket. i barely own things with sleeves. i do not like being cold for long periods of time (unless i know i get to eventually leave). so imagine my surprise when i walked outside in the morning and my car was completely frozen over. like the fucking thing looked like an ice ball.

my windshield? iced.over. so what do i think to do? well i thought, i'll turn on the hose and spray water on it, and maybe that will loosen up the ice so i can turn on my windshield wipers and get the ice off. but when i went to turn on my hose... well.. it was frozen too. it even had an ice piece hanging out of it. weird.

now this is the part of the story where people tell me i'm an idiot. they all tell me that adding water to ice, just makes more ice. like dur jennster, how can you be so winter-tarded? but really, i thought it could make the other ice move so i could get it off. really, is this not at all logical? is this where my blondeness shows? or my non wintery ways are ever so apparent?

i don't care that i'm a fucking idiot when it comes to winter stuff. that just reaffirms the fact that i should always be somewhere warm. where ice never happens and things just melt all the time.

hmph.

too much frozen ness

and yes, i consider this frozen on my car. stop laughing all you real winter people.

18 comments:

Issas Crazy World said...

We are LA people, you and me. And suckly enough, neither of us live there.

Kristabella said...

When I saw you Twitter about running water on it, as a Chicagoan, I yelled NO! DUH! WILL MAKE IT WORSE!

We're expecting a foot of snow tonight. I hate winter.

I have an extra ice scraper (which is what you use) if you'd like me to send it to you. :)

Chris O said...

I'm watching it snow right now. Considering we are surrounded by mountains and major ski areas are only 45 minutes away, we get very little snow where I live. I don't like it every since I hit a tree inner tubing 19 yrs ago. I think it is pretty but don't ask me to go out in it! I don't like the cold, of course, I don't like it hot either. Mild sunny days.

Chibi said...

Just be glad you didn't try HOT water. One year, my dad (who HAS lived in a coldish region long enough to know better)was too lazy to scrape his windshield and too impatient to let the car warm up enough to let it melt. He decided that his best course of action would be to pour a jug of HOT water over the windshield.

You know what happens when you put cold liquid into a glass hot from the dishwasher? Yeah. He cracked the windshield clear across; the water also splashed down the driver's side window and onto the mirror and cracked those, too.

I guess the bright side is that you only made more ice, and not a large repair bill. ;)

Alison said...

Credit card=great ice scraper. :)

Snow sucks. We like sand around these parts. :)

NGS said...

You California folks are cracking me up today.

I love snow and winter and being able to wear tights and cute boots, so I guess that's why I'm drawn to Minnesota!!

Karen Sugarpants said...

can't type...

laughing too fucking hard....

point45 said...

water has always worked for me. but i still warm up the car and have the defroster on for a while

Missy said...

Oops, I totally would've tried hot water. Thank god I don't live somewhere that gets that cold. Although, where is my summer? I'm still waiting for it to properly arrive.

Heinous said...

Wow, worst case of frost ever. I'll send over a flamethrower pronto ;)

Bryce Carter said...

Hey you!

Haha apparently a lot of people are realizing that they don't like the cold over there with all this wacky weather we're having.

I've realized its been a long time since we've talked, so how is life??

-Bryce

Anonymous said...

We're expecting a big snow storm in Minnesota tonight! Yeah! Break out the skis and snowshoes! There is nothing like a white Christmas! You need to buy some North Face gear and head to this part of the world! Yes it's cold, but it is really beautiful too!

Smartass Milf said...

We got an ice storm one night last February and I walked out to about 1/4 of ice on my Jeep. It took forever to get it off of the windsheild but the good part about having a Jeep is the plastic windows. I just hit them from the inside and the ice was gone.

SUEB0B said...

winter-tarded LOL

I am wintertarded too. The thought of snow makes me kind of woogy. Being trapped where it is snowing? Hell NO. The idea that ppl live where the GROUND FREEZES? That freaks me the hell out.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I would have tried the hose too. But then, without a doubt, I'm VERY winter-tarded. Which is my new favorite word - thank you so much for supplying it! How the hell can a hose FREEZE? What the fuck is up with THAT???!

carrie said...

It's ok.

Once I watered my icy and snowy driveway because I could not find a snow shovel.

Guess what happened?

Yeah, I learned my lesson. We all do from time to time. You're NOT winter-tarded!

corrin said...

Okay, I've lived in Chicago my whole life, and that didn't sound like a bad theory to me. I mean, if it sits there for hours, of course it is going to ice over, but initially water will loosen the ice up!

Anissa Mayhew said...

Dude, I live in FL, that stuff NEVER happens to us.