Tuesday, November 25, 2008

can we talk about jeans?

we can? great.

listen. i have a fat ass. not phat (although it does rock). it's enormous. to say i'm shaped like a pear is an understatement. so when it comes to jeans, i can't just wear anything.

so i need to know. NEED TO KNOW people. what kind of jeans you wear? and if you're super skinny and have no shape, i don't give a fuck what kind of jeans your ass wears. you probably wear kids sizes. and so you can screw off. cause i secretly hate you (not really). but the jeans that will fit you, will not fit me.

if you're shapely. actually have hips. have a bootie. then talk to me! and thanks!!!!!

24 comments:

Ali said...

sadly, i cannot help you. my ass is the only part of my body that works....

Joe said...

I can't comment on the jeans, but I'm not sure that fat and phat are mutually exclusive.

Anonymous said...

I too have been labled with a bubble butt so to speak... I wear Silver Jeans http://www.silverjeans.com. They are good quality without being $300... they are not the $20 jeans from JC Penney either... good luck. It took me all through high school to find the "perfect" fit and then I went and got knocked up 3 years later. My kid is now 3 and I am just now figuring out what size I am again! LOL

jennster said...

ali- i hate you. not really. i love you.

joe- i'm fat and phat. rahr.

anon- WHAT type of silver jeans?! they have millions of kinds. like at gap, i love long and lean jeans (not to mention they're the only gap jeans i can wear.. i think) help and thanks!

Alison said...

I can't find jeans to fit me either. Maybe because I refuse to try on anything over $75. I once bought a pair of Union Bay jeans for $20 at Costco and I swear I should have gone back for another 10 pairs because they fit like they were made for ME personally...and I wore a hole right though the ass because I wore them so damned much. I loved them. I still miss them. They were the perfect color too. Boo.

Heinous said...

I'm a dude and a skinny one at that. I'm no help here. Is that an anjou pear or a bartlett?

regan said...

I am with you on the ass and pear shape and I love Gap's long and lean jeans. They really do a lot for my figure.

Kristabella said...

I have a large ass and hips and a smaller waist. I can never find jeans that don't give me the gap in the waistband.

I like Gap's long and lean jeans.

Meetzorp said...

Gap Classic-Fit Boot-Cut. They are like the universal jeans. I'm a cyclist, which means I have Thighs of Dooooom, and they work great for me.

Scientific Lutheran said...

I have luck sometimes with wranglers for women. They usually have bunches of different fits, and I can usually find one style that doesn't gap at the back, or sag in front at the crotch. I don't always like the colors, though.

Erica Ortiz said...

Buy anything that is european made. They *get* that people have asses.

I was loving the whole brazilian jean import trend, because for once, my bubble butt FIT in my jeans.

Anonymous said...

I wear Luckys, but I know someone who tried the Apple Bottom jeans recently (no joke) and absolutely loves them.

ashleystravel said...

Gap Boot-cut (make sure they are not 100% cotton, you need a little spandex). I have thighs and hips, but not too big of a butt and they fit me great. Note that they loosen up as you wear them so buy them snug.

Smug said...

My issue is that my waist, hips and butt are all not that different in size, so finding jeans or pants of any kind is always hard. You see, if I get something that fits nicely in the butt and legs, then I can't get it buttoned. If I get something that I can get buttoned, it is huge in the butt and legs. I can never tell when I lose weight, because my clothes are always baggy in some way. Anyway, take heart! None of us can fit properly in our clothes!!

Daisy Duke said...

Joes' Jean's. They have about 5 cuts, try them all on & see which one works. I'm partial to The Honey. I also like Seven for All Mankind traditional bootcut in regular wash.

In all honesty, go to Nordstroms or Bloomingdales, give them your size, and tell them to start bringing stuff into you. SO MUCH EASIER. Once you find a fit, they can show you all the washes/lengths they come in.

M said...

I wear Lucky Brand too and they are awesome! I have wide hips and an ass as well. Try them!

Anonymous said...

About the Silver Jeans... I get the Red Label Fit and as far as style goes I have got "Alex", "Pioneer" and "Toni" but "Tuesday" are my Fav.... here is the link to the jeans I am wearing right now!http://www.silverjeans.com/onlinestore/pc/viewPrd.asp?idcategory=3&idproduct=60


Much luv for the ghetto booties of the world!

steenky bee said...

Silvers or Lucky's. Also, I have a wide leg pair from Victoria Secret that I love. I typically have a no VS clothing rule other than undergarments, but these jeans are awesome.

Anonymous said...

Ann Taylor Loft has an awesome "curvy" jean. I think they only have longs online, but they are awesome for your curves!

Karen said...

Personally....I have a big ass too. I wear 7s. They work well for me.

Also, I have 2 pairs of JLo jeans which I got on clearance at Marshalls a few years ago. Not surprisingly they fit well in the rear. But I haven't seen them anywhere else.

Joe said...

See? I knew you had the right idea. Fat is phat in my book...and most other men's. ;-)

Anonymous said...

so coz....we basically have the same ass and thus the same problems....but you got the tall family gene and I didn't....so you can't complain too much!

I'm down to 2 pairs of jeans from high school...so I'm looking too....I just wanted to say thanks for the post because I've been having the same problems...I empathize with you! lol miss you, love you ~PARP

Andie said...

www.zafu.com

go there and enter in your stats and what you want and it will give you jean suggestions in all price ranges.

I"m a big fan of levi's 545's. But I also have a wide, flat butt, which, I wish was fuller!

but I have big ole thighs and hips. These fit pretty well!

Marcy said...

I hear you! I have so many pairs of jeans that I hate because they have such a big gap at the waist. I have bigger thighs, butt & hips than my waist. I have finally found jeans that fit me perfect - Express "Eva" jeans, this is their "curvy" fit and they are amazing! Plus, they go on sale all the time.