Thursday, October 02, 2008

hi, i'm a function drink whore

good lord people... ever since i actually found a place up here where they sell function drinks, i've turned into

A- their biggest unpaid spokesperson and
B- their biggest whore.

oh, you don't know what i'm talking about? you don't know function? well FIND IT! i'm not kidding. these drinks are awesome!! and just because i know the people who made them and just because i'm helping them get richer and richer everyday by opening my big fat mouth about them, doesn't mean that you shouldn't try them! if i didn't believe in the product, or think it was awesome, i wouldn't even waste my time telling you about them. and oh yeah, i don't know about you, but i'm really concerned about how much sugar and carbs are in the things i eat and drink. the drinks are all pretty much 12 grams each. and i figure that's ok.
function is a line of drinks that has good stuff in it. i guess it's like vitamin water, but way better! for example, after i work out (you know, do the p90x stuff that almost kills me), i drink function shock sports. it has stuff in it for muscle recovery and joints so that you won't be as sore as you would normally. all i know is it's good, i'm not super sore, and i love the stuff! after every workout, i drink one of these!

they have many other types of drinks- all there to help you. did you read that? the drinks are there to DO STUFF FOR YOU (hey drink, do stuff to this!) the drinks work for you. have a hangover?? then you drink urban detox. it helps rid your lungs and stuff of pollutants in the air- but it also helps your hangover. see? i'm telling you! these drinks kick ass!!!!


what else is there you ask? what other flavors do i like? well right this very instant i'm drinking an alternative energy. it's my first time trying this kind. and well, it's good! it's not like a rockstar type drink where you get this rush of energy right away and then it's gone. it has ingredients in it that give you an energy boost for hours. um.. i also really like brainiac! it's supposed to help your mental clarity and your mood, and basically i just think it tastes good (and the fact that it's good for you is just a bonus). i like to drink one in the morning instead of a suckbucks- way less calories, and probably better for me (not to mention cheaper)!

oooh, the one drink i really want to try, but can't freaking find anywhere is the light weight one. it's supposed to help ignite your metabolism and do good stuff. i want that sucker! but so far, no luck!

i know what you're thinking. they must be paying me to write this, right? they aren't. i just really, really like these drinks. and yes, since they're my friends- i really care about the success of their business. but like i said earlier, the drinks are really good. i really like the product. and since they're somewhat new to the marketplace, i want to help them get the word out! i know how powerful word of mouth is, and how much we listen to eachother in blogland. so i figured if i told you about the drinks, you might try them! and since i included pictures, you now know what to look for (aren't the labels awesome? seriously, i love them)!!!! you might want to know where i found them in my area- whole foods (aka whole paycheck) and target! also, some weird alternative energy store, but whatever. each store carried different flavors that the other stores didn't carry (except no light weight dammit!)... alright i'm shutting up.


couple questions for you (and any questions you have for me about the drinks just ask me in the comments and i'll answer back!)- do you drink drinks like this normally? have you ever seen these drinks, or have you tried them yet? if so, what do you think about them?

20 comments:

Heinous said...

You don't have the disadvantage of living in central PA. I'll have to take you word for it. I just go for the simple B-complex energy drink.

jennster said...

NO NO NO!!!!! did you click the map?!?! i'm clicking it right now to tell you where you can find them dammit! lol

jennster said...

http://functiondrinks.com/retailers.php?state=PA

check it!

Anonymous said...

Never heard of the stuff, but i'll keep an eye out for it now!

Heinous said...

I checked. Nothing...a wasteland. I'll have to experience its awesomeness through it's unpaid...um...spokesperson.

Heinous said...

Crap, used the wrong form of its. Down, grammatical OCD, down.

Issas Crazy World said...

Nick likes one of them. I'm in love with Vitamin water, but only two flavors. Basically we are drink whores too.

Chris O said...

I thought it said "i'm a fuckin drink whore" and I was thinking, "after my shitty morning I am too." Can you add gin to these?

jennster said...

issa- which one does he drink? have you ever tried them?

chris o- wait, there are drinks you CAN'T add rum too? lol

Alison said...

I've never tried any of these types of drinks for fear they'll make me all jittery and crap. Sincerely. (Name the movie, Hooch.)

Anonymous said...

I wanna try some.....you wanna get some sent my way up here in COLD VT????
Miss you
~PARP

Issas Crazy World said...

He says the one called brains or something. I guess it has Ginko in it. maybe if he drank more of it, he's know which one. Says it tastes like fruit punch.

I've never tried them, mostly because I heart vitamin water.

jenboglass said...

Um, these just may be illegal in Utah. Lot's of stuff is illegal here. Mormons may think it's some sort of a controlled substance. I shall make a trek out of state and then sneak one of these in with my lottery ticket.

jennster said...

ISSA~!!!!!!! screw vitamin water! TRY THESE! they are awesome and made by a fucking doctor, so there!!!!!

ali- they DO NOT make you jittery or ANYTHING like that! they are kick ass! get them. stand by me.

parp and jen- did you check the map?!?!?!!

flybunny said...

I can't wait to try these. Luckily I realized they sell them at a Whole Foods right around the corner from me before I went and ordered a bunch.

Alison said...

I can't believe you KNEW that! This is why you are my idol. :) Sincerely. How did you KNOW????

SUEB0B said...

I only drink 4 liquids. In order of frequency:
Coffee
Water
Red Wine
Iced Tea

Ok, maybe the rare gin and tonic. But that is it.

Issas Crazy World said...

Ok, ok. I'll try one and let you know. They sell them everywhere here. Which one should I try?

jennster said...

ISSSSSSSSA- i like brainiac.. steal your hubby's! OR, drink the alternative energy one since you just had a baby. OORRRRRR, since you did just live in LA, drink urban detox!!!!!!

Kristabella said...

When I saw this blog title in my reader, I figured you were talking about getting free alcoholic drinks at fuctions, like work functions. And I was going to say "NO WAY! I'm the whore who loves getting free booze at functions."

Turns out that had nothing to do with this post. So now I'm just a whore. An alcoholic whore.