Monday, August 25, 2008

maybe i am the bitch, but

i am the girl who will be genuinely nice to you when i first meet you. if you're someone important to someone important to me- i will go out of my way to initiate conversation... attempt to befriend you, etc. there's no reason why i can't or shouldn't be pleasant upon the first meeting with someone, right?

but when i do go out of my way to be overly nice and that person isn't nice back.. i get fucking pissed off. usually, it's other girls who act this way. i can think of 3 very specific occassions where i went overly out of my way to be nice to random chicks, to have all of them be bitches back to me in their own special way. and i was so livid. because truly, i don't have to fucking be nice to anyone. especially other females who i owe nothing too. you know? i feel like if i'm nice to you, the least you can do is attempt to be nice back. you can recognize that i don't have to be nice to you. i don't have to be friendly. but i am- so at least attempt to have some respect. and when they don't. i'm done with them.

no joke.

if i have gone out of my way to be nice, and you shit all over that... you can pretty much assume that i won't be nice to you in the future (if i even acknowledge your existance that is). unless you go out of your way to be nice to me at a later event, or apologize- then we can probably work it out. maybe it was just a bad day. something. i understand that kind of stuff. but otherwise, i get so mad when i'm nice and they're not.

am i the only one who gets like this? do you ever feel like that person should be nicer than nice to you, because you don't have to be nice to them??? they're lucky you're being so friendly when in reality, maybe they're the ones who should be going out of their way to be nice to you?

or maybe i'm just a fucking crazy person? that is definitely always an option.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nope, not crazy. I totally understand what you're saying and where you are coming from.

A Cowboy's Wife said...

Oh, I'm like that too. So if you are a bitch, then I'm a bitch and we'll be bitches together:)

Piece of Work said...

I just always assume there's no reason not to be nice. I don't go out of my way to be nice, I just AM nice, in general, and assume that everyone else will be too.
When people aren't, then I generally chalk it up to that person being a douche.
And I've met people like that, even--gasp!--bloggers! And popular bloggers too! All douchebags. :)

jennster said...

lori- phew. seriously i started thinking that maybe i was the only one who got OFFENDED though if i was nice and they weren't. as if i owe them nothing, so they should bow down in my greatness. lol

amy- asshole bloggers? why i never. HA. i am convinced that one person i thought was decent, is no longer in blogland. :)

zchamu said...

If someone is being nice and polite to you, there is no reason to be bitchy to them. Especially if they're just trying to introduce themselves or something. I mean, I get it if people have shit going on and are distracted or whatever, but bitchy? Ugh. It's such a soul destroying thing for the person on the other side.. why do it to someone? Am totally with you.

sugaredharpy said...

Oh my god, bitch, I'm the crazy person blogging up my crazy right now. You sound awesomely normal. I too often just TAKE that shit from people, but I'm thrilled that YOU don't. Because you shouldn't. Stay awesome, love.

SUEB0B said...

I am one to just leave, rather than fight. But like a cat, I will quietly and stealthily do mean things. Passive-aggressive much? Yes. Absolutely.

Immoral Matriarch said...

Well I was in love with you from the start. I know what you mean. Usually I walk away from them whilst giving a stare of death.

gwendomama said...

hahhahahah i just told daddy dan that he looked hot in a cheezeburger bag, which is HILARIOUS because he wasn't even there.


(was he?)

anyway.
you did look hotter in the bag.

Andie said...

dude, I could have written that post word for word. I guess, being the open, outgoing personality that I am, (i'll talk to ANYONE) I at least expect the courtesy of being polite back. You don't have to like me, but damn, can you at least be polite enough to respond back in a friendly tone?

My favorites are the snooty asses who you shake hands with and give you the limp hand, like they are too good to touch you.

I could go on and on. If you're a crazyass bitch, then so am I!

Ali said...

i'm pretty sure we made out when we first met...so i guess i'm off the hook, eh? ;)

Ellie said...

You know what? Just keep being nice. Really. There's no reason not to, and you're tipping the universe in the right direction. And I, personally, thank you for that.

Assertagirl said...

You were very nice to me when we first met. In fact, I believe you said you loved me. heh

xo

Anissa Mayhew said...

Ok, i just want you to know that I'm keeping this all tallied up.

1. Do not fuck with chai
2. Do not fuck with Jennster when she's feeling friendly, or she just might CUT YOU!

Got it.

Seriously? If they can't accept open kindness, then let them eat ball rot.

wrongshoes said...

This post is intriguing to me. I know this question might sound odd, but what does it mean to "be nice?" And what, specifically, do the "not nice" people do that is not nice?

I ask these questions because I have Asperger's, and when a stranger is overly "nice" to me, I feel confused. Sometimes I think I might be acting rude when really I'm just uncomfortable. But I'm not really sure.

Maybe that's something to consider, though - the other person might just be in her own world, unaware of your overly nice attempts.

crazymumma said...

some people, I won't get gender specific, can be just awful and petty and small.

Loralee Choate said...

I'm a pretty nice person, but I find that this is becoming more the case as I get older.

Or, maybe it is the longer I am on the internet, I don't know. (Grin)

Gini said...

I'll be damned if it didn't take me 43 years to realize - "You don't have to be friends with everyone" I have been saying that to my 11 year old daughter lately, as well. I am with you. Be nice, and if it isn't reciprocal - screw them. Always do the right thing - then send them an e-mail and tell them they are a bitch so they can forward it off to everyone they (think) they know and then look like an ass because I said what everyone else wanted to say to her but didn't.......ahem....seriously. You just don't have to be friends with everyone. BTW - love your blog - you are friggin hysterical!

Erica Ortiz said...

Completely agree. Went out of my way to be nice to a friend's new girlfriend, she was an icy bitch back and later complained that people weren't accepting of her in our town since she just moved here. HELLO?!? I tried to be nice and you were a bitch! Its not us, its YOU!

Becky said...

story. of. my. life.

h31n0us said...

You must have met my sister-in-law just recently. Nope, it's not you. Many times, even us oblivious guys notice when it's going on.

I say tell them to their face, in public and walk off. It's not worth the effort after that.

jennster said...

wrong shoes- i love that you brought this up, cause it's a good point and of course, nothing i ever thought about.
for example- when i met one chick, i told her i was really happy to meet her and i tried to engage her in conversation. instead, she made eye contact and talked to my husband for 90 minutes and literally, DID NOT LOOK AT ME once. the whole time. so i think she's a bitch. :)
i feel that when i go out of my way to introduce myself to someone and attempt to make conversation and they don't talk back, or they are short and rude- that's another example.
the bitches just probably wanted my man and that was their main problem to begin with. well ladies, you can't all be me. :) lol

wrongshoes said...

Well it's possible the woman in your scenario had the hots for your man, in which case, if she was trying to win his affection in your presence she may, in fact, be psychotic.

There are women (me), though, who just have trouble interacting with other women. I don't know if it's 'cause girls were so mean to me in middle school or what, but women can be scary to me. Especially the beautiful, intelligent ones. :-)

Either way, I see how that situation would be really difficult for you.

jennster said...

wrongshoes- you're awesome. :) but really.. i think that i just try to be nice and friendly and when i don't get that in return, i get bitchy. and i totally understand that not all women are good with other women- but see, even if something like that was said, or prefaced, or addressed, i'd have more understanding. but in all reality, i'd probably still be a little peeved.

Karen Sugarpants said...

you're fucking nuts (ha ha), but whoever is bugging you needs to be told. let me at 'em.

Jarrard said...

Amen. Going through this now with some dock people where our boat is.

I had forgotten what it was like to be in high school and now that I have been reminded I stand by my mantra of "I wouldn't go back for all the money in the world"

I am TOO OLD to worry about what people think about me and definitely TOO OLD for drama. Seriously? Aren't we all adults with real lives....?

Tracey said...

I'd say I'm pretty nice in general. I do try to go out of my way, but people have usually reciprocated. In fact, I find that I often am feeling like someone else was really considerate to me and I didn't reciprocate appropriately. But I have allowed myself the permission to not worry about keeping the score even. Life can't be even. Granted, I am never a bitch to someone else that was nice to me though... That would suck.

Hmm. This is quite the rambly comment, eh?

Spidey said...

This is exactly how I felt at the gym. There are some people that I see there every time, and I usually smile at them. There is this one blonde, fake boobied, make-up wearing while working out bitch at the gym that never smiles back. I know it is because I have no penis, but still you can at least give a half smile or even acknowledge that we see eachother 3-4 times a week.

gorillabuns said...

As a whole, I'm not too crazy about women but, if you are nice to me? I'm more than nice to you.

Kristabella said...

I'm a people pleaser, so while I would seethe in my own house saying that I vowed never to be nice to that person again, next time I saw them, I'd probably be nice. And then bitch about said person to someone else. Or I just ignore them and go out of my way to avoid them. The passive-aggressive, I has it.