Sunday, August 03, 2008

i bet you'll think this post is about you

i'm sorry everyone, but omfg. i have had it up to here (you know, the top of my head).

in the wake of blogher, i swear if i read more one more post about being popular, the popular bloggers were nice to me, the popular bloggers were mean to me, the popular bloggers hate me, the popular bloggers like me, how come she's a popular blogger and i'm not, blogging is like high school, how do you blog when you're so popular, wah wah i want to be popular, why aren't we all popular, someone please tell me how popular they think i am, etc.

shut the fuck up already.

look, if having the popular bloggers be nice to you makes you feel good, great. that's your own issue. if that's what you need to value and justify your existance in this world- have it at. i think that's fucking lame, but whatever.. it's not my life and i don't have to live it.

i'm just tired of reading SO MANY POSTS about wanting to be popular. about how the popular people were nice to them and that made them feel good, as if we're not all just fucking normal people to begin with. why wouldn't someone be nice to you? why wouldn't they say hi and talk to you? that's what people do to eachother... regardless of popularity. you know, they socialize with one another. and for the most part, they're nice to eachother.

i'm not naive enough to think that every single person who comes to read this blog will be so taken with it, they can't stop reading it. i know that this blog isn't for everyone. i'm not for everyone. the difference though? i'm perfectly okay with that. i don't need to appeal to the masses. i don't care if i don't. if someone reads this blog and they get my sense of humor and they stick around, that's awesome. but if someone reads it and they don't think i'm funny at all or they can't relate to me at all, that's fine too. i can't relate to every blog out there so i can't expect everyone to relate to mine.

the other thing- why do we all act as if we should be polly-fucking-anna on the internet all the time? do you ever stop to think how unrealistic that truly is? i mean, i certainly don't like every single person i meet offline, so why would i like every single blog i read online? in the same token, why would i like every single person i meet from online, or the blogworld, in real life? it's nothing personal, just sometimes you don't gel with certain people. doesn't make either one of you the bad guy- it's just life. no one likes 100% of the people they meet 100% of the time. at least no one human. and there's nothing wrong with that. i wish we'd all stop acting like there is. now i'm not saying we should tear eachother down and be outright mean to one another. i feel that if you don't like someone, you should simply stop reading them. but we all know that there are people out there who get off on being mean to others.. and trying to bring them down. those people exist in the real world, so why wouldn't they exist online? i guess it's just that sometimes i feel like people think that certain things shouldn't apply when it comes to blogland. certain behaviors, nastiness and meanness shouldn't have a place online. but that's unrealistic as well. because those things have a place in the real world (which is sad, but true), so of course they'd find their way here.

i don't write this blog to be popular. and if you do, i suggest you click the delete button on your blog and walk away from the computer. cause you've got it all wrong. you should probably get out more. i just want everyone to be themselves.

i want you to write because you have something to say, something to get out, or something to share. i want it to be personal and come from your heart and soul. i don't want to read what you think other people want to hear. i don't want to read what you think will give you links on popular bloggers blogs and expose you to more people. i don't want to read what you don't believe, but you think sounds good. i just want to read what's real. you know?

last thing. if you think i'm talking about you, i can assure you i'm not. read that sentence and then read it again because i am not singling any specific person out here, i promise you. but if you do think i'm talking about you, you should ask yourself why.

39 comments:

Missy said...

I admit to a crazy amount of posting about the awesome people I met at BlogHer. But they include 'famous' bloggers and ones that are only famous to me and a few others. I got equally thrilled to meet fairly unknown bloggers and those considered to be on the A-List.

Anissa Mayhew said...

Totally crass of me here, but I didn't know who anyone was in the blogland was until 2 months ago. So, I dig the people here because they're funny, sincere, honest and they write well. That's it....that's all I expect and I find that the more I am of these things (or try to be) the better my reception.

Lara said...

i'm going to have "you're so vain" stuck in my head all day now...

Jenna said...

Word. You said it. Though not in BlogHer attendance, I have read all about this in blogland and am a tad annoyed.

Jennster, I love your tell it like is self, and blogland needs so many others like yourself.

you rock.

carrie said...

I would've loved to go to BlogHer, but all this high school bs that has been following is nonesense.

You said it well. If you like me, fine - cool! If you don't like me, don't read. Move on.

Amen.

Me said...

A girlfriend of mine went to BlogHer and she told me how the first 6 people she met were all "How many unique visits you get every day".....it was a bit disturbing to say the least....and totally turned me off going next year.

Unless I can meet your popular hotness. hehe.

jennster said...

missy- i don't want to confuse what i'm trying to say with being excited to meet the people you read and like in general. that's not what i mean at all. and blogher was super fun to meet new people and that is exciting!! :)

anissa- i totally get what you're saying and i think it's true as well. just continue to be true and honest, and not just try to write to entertain- we lose something we when lose the true value of what we're trying to say. :)

lara- me too. :)

jenna- i am LOL.. i'm sure plenty of people won't appreciate this post, so thank you in advance.

carrie- totally. the thing is though, i feel like the ones who think blogland is like high school are possibly still stuck in a realm of wanting to be included, or liked, or something. i think if we all just didn't care and were super secure with ourselves, then maybe we wouldn't think it was like high school so much because we wouldn't be longing to fit in so badly. does that make any sense?

me- that's fucking weird and annoying and why should it matter?!? and that is a turn off, but also rare i hope. i mean, was she in the "blog stat" seminar cause then it would make sense. lol

Black Hockey Jesus said...

I don't want pageloads and popularity. I want bitches and money.

Alison said...

As you know, I don't have a blog. But if I did, dammit, I'd want to be popular. :)

Twenty Four At Heart said...

That was refreshing!

Daddy Dan said...

Jennster,

This post is not going to help your popularity any! ;)

Way to say it girlfriend!

Immoral Matriarch said...

Yeah um, what you said.

Motherhood Uncensored said...

all i want is oral sex and I GOT NONE.

DAMN those famous bloggers don't put out.

moosh in indy. said...

sweet.

Walking With Scissors said...

I'm loving the "if you don't like it, I don't care" attitude. Nobody knows who in the hell I am at all but it doesn't matter because at least I'm having fun. :)

SLynnRo said...

You do a lovely job of getting to the heart of some really petty internet issues. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with you at all :)

(Also, I am really popular. So you should be honored I comment here.)

Meg said...

Yes, yes, and FUCKING YES! I so agree with what you're saying here. I don't blog for free shit, for huge readership, for popularity. I blog to get my feelings out and to know that other people can commiserate with me. Sometimes it sucks when you feel that NOBODY is ready, but I don't give a damn about the "famous" crowd. That's the only reason I'm thinking I wouldn't want to go to BlogHer.

Dana said...

I puffy fucking heart you.

I can honestly say that we all have our own insecurities and everyone wants to fit in, but the reality of it is, popularity doesn't matter.

Finding your niche of bloggers and online pals you love and get along with is the best part of this community.

Missy said...

I know, but even I am getting annoyed with my neverending BlogHer posts lol.

And also: FUCK YES to everything you wrote.

Anonymous said...

I want to say all of these things, but never would on my blog. Thank you for saying them for me.

RWA said...

Damn.

I was going to write about wanting to be a "popular" blogger today, but you've made me feel so incredibly guilty about it, I won't.


:)

Heinous said...

Awesome. Dispelling the high-school clique-ness of the online life. "I couldn't get acceptance in school, so I'll find it on the 'net."

Ellie said...

Wow. Well said. I had such a blogher hangover the few days after y'all were in San Francisco I couldn't read blogs anymore. Well, except for my own. Hee hee.

Smug said...

I guess I don't read many of the "popular" blogs, cause I haven't head much about being popular and wanting to be popular. I personally write my blog for myself. It's my outlet, my journal if you will. If someone else likes reading it, great and wounderful. But, that's not why I write in my blog!

Mel said...

Over on my blog (This is not to say that I think you wrote this about me - LOL), I noted that the whole dooce/bloggess thing was like high school because of how many people I saw hastily slap up blog posts about how lame Jenny was, how she was SOOOOOO drunk and WEEEEEIIRRRD (weird? Yes. Drunk? No.), and how poor Dooce was just devastated by being called a hobbit, and how awful Jenny was, and what right did she have, and oh, she was just whoring for publicity, and blah blah blah.

My observation was that, just as in high school, the sycophants went running to defend the powerful Queen Bee and descended in a bloodthirsty horde on the interloper.

And I don't really even want to go to BlogHer, mainly because it's too much money and too much time out of my life spent with people who may or may not like me and who I may or may not like IRL.

Up until this BlogHer thing happened, I legitimately liked Dooce quite a bit. So if there is a neutral point from which to say, "Whoa, dude, that was just like high school," then that's where I was standing when I said it.

My two cents, for what it's worth.

Assertagirl said...

I guess people use high school as the metaphor for meeting new people because it's the most common experience we've all been through. I agree that it's silly to go there automatically, though. The difference in the blogosphere is that there's a medium for standing up and saying "I do/don't like...such and such..." which we didn't have back in the high school days. I think it scares people, makes them insecure. For those who were already feeling insecure, their fears are just amplified online.

I've personally tried to stay away from post-BlogHer drama posts. I got myself banned from one site for saying I thought anonymous posting about other bloggers is just an excuse to be rude. So yeah, I agree with you.

Robin said...

Fuckin A dude. Your post should apply to twitter as well.

and enough of 'squeeing' when someone saw her fave blogger at BlogHer already. I am so over reading about that. So what if I end up doing that next year, that's how I feel now. ;-)

Mrs. Schmitty said...

Perfectly said!

Am I doing okay? said...

Dont'cha. Dont'cha. Whew, now I can have that song stuck in my head to help me get over all the super secret parties I didn't get invited too. Thanks Ster!

Issas Crazy World said...

I just want to go next year to meet that one popular girl...the one who will touch my boobs. I hear she rocks. :)

Andie said...

wow. I am so out of the loop with this blogher stuff.

I just blog for me... and for anyone who wants to read. if they don't read, oh well! LOL

Nicely, put.

Although, speaking of popularity- I gave you an award at my blog. :)

HeatherPride said...

Amen sister!! I just started my blog 2 months ago so I am really new to the whole blog thing. I never even read a blog before I started my own. So my first reads were during the time leading up to Blogher, and then right after. I have been thinking all along that this seemed a little juvenile - people calling each other out on their blogs, people freaking over this blogger or that one (although I did get excited when a blogger I liked posted a comment on my blog) - just seemed so ridiculously immature.

Anyway, that was a totally too long comment in which I basically said, "WORD"

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Here's all I know...

When I start appealing to the masses, I'm fucked. That's when I'll shut it all down and go dig a hole to live in. The mass is unbelievably insane. When they start liking me in large quantities, that's when I know I'm no longer the sane one.

Kristabella said...

Stop writing posts about me!

Hrumpf.

The thing is, that these people who are constantly complaining about popular and famous and being excluded and cool kids tables, etc. are never going to learn. They'll never go to BlogHer and realize it is NOTHING like they think.

They would rather just sit and pout and whine and have people feel sorry for them.

It's all so ridiculous.

Well said, my friend.

jennster said...

kristabella (whore again)- but not just those who don't go to blogher. the ones who DID go and can't stop writing about the fact that they were accepted, or that people were nice to them. t hat shit annoys me just as much. it's like this desperation for acceptance. i hate that shit in real life, so it doesn't surprise me that it turns me off online as well. :)

Stefanie said...

So wait, just to be clear, are you saying my blog is popular? Cause you were writing about me right? I'm going to assume you were AND that I'm popular. Mostly because i enjoy making everything about me.

Seriously, what I think a lot of people don't realize is that what makes some people have more readers than other people is the "not giving a shit" factor. Most people will never understand this but having written a book, I know first hand that to be successful people need to LOVE you or HATE you. And you need to have something to say and thick fucking skin if you're going to say it. If I let every horrible review of my books make me stop writing the truth, I would never sell another book. So, bottom line; I agree with you. Write because you have something to say and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing/saying/reading etc.

michelle lamar said...

YOU.TOTALLY.ROCK.xoxoxoxxox
WhiteTrashMom hearts Jennster. That's really I had to say.

Izzy said...

This is the post I actually came to comment on as I'd skimmed it when we were in chat the other night. Just wanted to say brava! You've nailed a lot of good points and everyone should listen to you.

Hear that, people?

Listen to Jennster!

Veronica said...

Jennster, are you by chance the one that what's his name called super passive-aggressive?

What a lame bastard. He's the one who's passive aggressive.

I don't know what kind of problems you're having with Blogger/spam accusations but you know that the Armstrongs are best buddies with some guy named Ev who is one of the founders of Blogger.

If they want your blog shut down. All you have to do is pick Blogger or Typepad as your hosting sites and they pretty much decide, through their friends who control the sites, who gets censored.

It's not paranoia. I've been there and have the emails to prove it - from Typepad/Six Apart.