Friday, August 08, 2008

for once in my life

i am literally shocked, stunned and hurt to the point of being at a loss for words (almost). how can virtually one email make you feel so small? how can that same email make you question so many things you thought you loved about blogging?

look, i'm sure we all talk about eachother behind eachother's backs. things you wouldn't necessarily say to someone's face, but would confide in someone you considered a friend. i don't expect us to all get along. i don't expect us to all like eachother. and i'm sure there are those of you reading this now who have said some not so nice things about me behind my back. i honestly don't care.

but what i do care about is when i hear certain assumptions on my character. i do care if people are talking about the "fact" that i can't be trusted and warning one another about me. are you fucking kidding me? do you even know me? like honest to goodness, know anything about the kind of person i am? if you only know me from my blog, then no- you don't. if you've met me once or twice, you still don't. you might have a small glance into part of my personality, but you know nothing about my true character or who i am far past all the silliness, goofiness and downright stupidness i portray.

i don't know what i've ever done to give off the impression that i'm untrustworthy. i pretty much call them the way i see them. i post what i feel (at the time). i put it all out there. sometimes i think my posts are too harsh, but i've always felt good about being honest with how i'm feeling. and right now i'm numb inside. but not numb to the point of not being able to feel it. i can feel the numbness. and i don't like it.

48 comments:

Maria said...

I'm sorry, Jenn. It's tough when people think they know you or something about you and they really have no idea.

I for one think you're awesome. And I don't even know you that well. But well enough to recognize the awesomeness. Because you're that fucking awesome. Like...awesome personified.

dailypiglet said...

i left a comment and the screen froze so i guess it didn't work. it was probably the best comment i've ever left anywhere. ever.

fuck em.

you don't seem the kind to be bothered by petty shit for long, altho i could be wrong. i've been wrong before.

Wifey said...

Don't let somebody who doesn't know you make you feel small. I know that it is hard to not feel cut by people's words but do what you can to just toss them away. I enjoy your blog and think you have some really great posts.

Becky said...

well take it from me as someone who DOES personally know you and loves you---untrustworthy is THE LAST thing i'd ever use to describe you. so it's quite obvious whoever said this about you has nothing better to do and OBVIOUSLY doesn't truly know you. i'm with dailypiglet..fuck em.

Black Hockey Jesus said...

I know. Someone just called me a retarded basketball player. Maybe I am if a retarded basketball player can bang 3s all fucking day.

I'd trust you. Well, I wouldn't set my drink down around you. But otherwise, I'd trust you.

Daddy Dan said...

Yikes! I didn't see your post until I saw your response to the e-mail I sent you.

If the person was someone that just reads your blog I would just ignore them. There's trolls out there that get their jollies from getting a rise out of you.

I agree with Becky and dailypiglet.

koehmstedt said...

It's like that bumper sticker "Mean People Suck!" They do & I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt. Some people don't feel whole unless they are bashing someone else's character. Oh well, their loss. Hang in there - I love your blog.

Izzy said...

Dude..I just came too comment on another post but then I read this. What the fuck? Anyone who wants to talk shit about my Jennster can kiss both our asses. Email me. Or call me.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I'm sorry...that just sucks.

Lola Goetz said...

Dude, that shit ain't right. I'm sorry that someone decided they could just pull that shit on you. You know many of us love you. I would trust you to always be a straight-shooter and honest with me, because you seem like the type who just calls 'em like she sees 'em. That's what I love about you.

Ali said...

well, i love you.
that's really all that should matter ;)

Anissa Mayhew said...

That is so monumentally wrong. That would be one of the most hurtful insults because that implies you can't a good friend and from I've seen said about you, the pictures you've posted, your friends love you and are loyal to you. I hope you are able to shake it off quickly, don't give them the satisfaction of knowing it made you doubt anything about yourself.

Karen Sugarpants said...

That is crap, Jenn. Absolute CRAP.

Those who really know you know you are very trustworthy. The rest can go fuck a duck.

xoxoxo

DOWN WITH THE HATERS!

Alison said...

I say fire an email right back. Stir it up!!

Jill said...

I don't know you well, talked on the phone a couple times and through your blog but I think your one of the most trustworthy person I haven't had the chance to meet yet. Who they hell died and made them your keeper. Don't let them hurt your feelings damn it, it does hurt but like the rest who have said it let me echo the rest Fuck them Jenn, we all know who you are. It's them that aren't honest.....jesus can't people not stir up drama for 5 minutes, someone needs something better to do!!!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

I'm not sure the details here but what I do know is that you're a good person and sometimes you have to just stand on the reputation you've cultivated.

Big love to you chica.

PS. Just sent you an email.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Wow, that is sad. Sorry to hear that, but remember that a lot of people say crap to make themselves feel better (it's wrong to do but the comments probably say more about who wrote them then they do about you).

Neurotic Grad Student said...

I have to agree with koehmstedt. Mean people suck.

Sometimes honesty is too much for people. I personally have stopped reading blogs that were too blunt or crude for me, but you don't strike me as either.

Don't let it get you down. For all of us who read you every day, please continue to write honestly and awesomely and we'll continue to read you.

Y said...

Pleeeeeeeeeease tell me this has nothing to do with a comment you left on The Post from yesterday? Please? Because if it has anything to do with that, I'm going to lose my shit all over the internet.

Denise said...

I say screw 'em! ;)

Missy said...

Well I've only met you once or twice, but I still know you're fucking awesome.

Kristin said...

Blogland is rather fucked up these days, no?

You're a doll, Jenn... I find you charmingly forthright and candid without being preachy.

BTW - read your comment yesterday on that shitstorm of a post.. and I thought it was dead on.. also, do not find you "super passive aggressive".

xx

Lola Goetz said...

yeah, kristin, the "super passive aggressive" made me roll my eyes. i thought jenn's comment was open & out there, and in no way passive-aggressive. gimme a break!

(and jenn, i dm'd you about that, and i hope you took it to mean i was incredulous by his statement. love ya, girl.)

crazymumma said...

There is sometimes a mob mentality out here in bloggy land. I have stood on the outside and listened several times to it going on and was thankful that I could creep away unnoticed. I hope it all resloves itself in due course.

sam (temptingmama) said...

I'm sorry Jenn! Whoever did that to you is a real shit.

TLC said...

I don't know about an email, but I saw the reply to your comment blurb and the P.P.S. was seriously chicken-shit. I read the comment, it wasn't passive-aggressive at all! It was what some of us were thinking! Hello, she wasn't the only one to blog early, there were others. Mimi Smartypants, Jenn Mattern, to name two I read in the day.

It said more about his personality than it ever did about yours.

Screw 'em.

Now, follow me on twitter, dammit.

T.

Andie said...

I don't know you that well- just by your blog... and I've never met you, and I have no idea what is going on with you... but I just want to give you a great big hug.

SO (((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))

Denise said...

for the record the only reason I am ever sad that I can't go to blogher is that I won't get to meet you! I don't know who said such nastiness about you but their fucktards so fuck them! you rock!

chris said...

I love you. And I have no idea what is going on. But you know what? It doesn't matter.

You have always been the nicest and friendliest person in the room. You go out of your way to make everyone in the area feel included. That is a gift. Not to mention that you are fun to be around. I had to keep walking away from you because my bladder control? it has seen better days.

And I can not believe that someone would talk bad about you behind your back. Sometimes finding out who your true friends are really sucks.

(((HUGS))) and love.

Melizzard said...

Just getting to know your blog really but seriously if this is about the craziness over who invented blogging... you aren't the one that came off as passive aggressive to say the least. That was just plain childish. Keep your chin up.

gwendomama said...

if you got a recent REALLY ANGRY email from the same person who sent me A REAL PISSED email, i feel for you.
feel free to email me.

Elizabeth said...

Am I going to have to write ANOTHER post about how we all just need to get along and stop hating on each other, dammit? Because if that email is related to your comment on "The Post", then that is completely ridiculous. I thought what you wrote was very intelligent and made a good point. But as with the last internet drama I got involved in, there's no way I'm posting anything about it on my blog, I learned my lesson.

But seriously, I will join forces with Izzy and kick all kinds of ass if I have to, because I HAVE spent time with you, and I KNOW what kind of person you are besides silly and goofy, and I would trust you with any thing at any time.

Chris said...

Aww Jenn, I don't even really know you, but I'm sure I would love you in person. I'm so sorry, don't let the idiots get you down!
Who are they (them)? Let me at em'. You rule. I love your blog and I swear I didn't do it! ;)

Mommy Cracked said...

Jennster, it's been my experience that when someone finds something to "call you out" on or judge you for, it's usually the very unlovely qualities THEY see in THEMSELVES. And the way they deal with those feelings is to try and pass them off on someone else. Don't take the bait. You are better than that. I know it hurt your feelings, but please don't let it steal your joy.

Dana said...

I don't know what happened, but I'll kick some ass if I have to. I've only recently met you and I will forever consider you an amazing, wonderful friend. When I got home from BlogHer, I was telling Doug how much I missed all the fun we had in SF. You rock and don't let anybody tell you differently.

You are honest, considerate, true to yourself, and I love you.

Lara said...

i think you rock. honestly, the way you just pulled me into your fun activities at blogher, like dancing, and photos, etc. - you made me feel so welcome and that meant a lot to me, because i can be pretty shy sometimes when i'm surrounded by folks i don't know. i didn't say it before, but really, thanks for that.

i trust you to always speak your mind. maybe some people confuse "trust" with being deaf and dumb. i don't for a moment "trust" you to just ignore something that you think is wrong, and i would never "trust" you to turn a blind eye if a friend of yours were being hurt. but if that's how people see you as "untrustworthy," then that's their problem, and not yours.

you are a rockstar, never forget it. i haven't. :)

carrie said...

Tried to comment earlier, but it (Blogger) was being weird. SHOCKER!

Anyway, don't let it get to you Jen, you can't please everyone but know that you do please many. That sound kinda naughty.

Okay, point being - you're too good for it. There, I'm done for now.

Issas Crazy World said...

I'm so sorry ster, for whatever was said to you. I will tell you though, that when I quit before, it was because of the hate mail I had started getting.

I think they suck, whoever they are. Personally I think you rock.

Stephanie A. said...

I sent you an email, but I have to say LOVE the new tagline you aggressive-aggressive whore! that is just reason #526 why you rock!

Meg said...

I have never heard anything negative about you, sweetie. Of course, I don't run with the "popular" crowd (*snort*). Anyone who could make snap judgement about another blogger is just a troll.

I've never met you. I only know you from this blog, but from what I've seen of you, I would never call you untrustworthy. You come across as sincere and up front. You have close friends (a good indicator that you're not untrustworthy). You are an awesome mom to Blake and you are married to a great guy. And they are who matters, not someone being bitchy over a BLOG. I know it sucks, but we're all here for you!

Ellie said...

Wow. You have got some love here Must feel awesome, after whatever that other opposite-of-awesomeness was. Good on ya.

Jenna said...

Ok, I'm a little late here, but so sorry what happened and that someone or someones was mean to one of my favorite bloggers. Turds.

Anyway, I don't know you in real life, but I have been reading your blog for two years. I have read you for a reason, and one day I hope to meet you and maybe we would possibly become friends. And even though I don't know you IRL, it makes me mad that someone did this.

From over the internet, I am sending you hugs...

Molly said...

I don't know you, but I do enjoy reading your blog. You seem like a really fun person, and you're someone I know I'd get along with if we did know each other.
I guess I've never considered if you were trustworthy or not because in all honesty, it doesn't matter because we don't know each other. I can also say that I DON"T know you just because of what you write on your blog. How can someone who really doesn't know you pass any sort of judgment about your character? Does this person know you a little bit outside of the blogosphere?

margalit said...

I didn't comment yesterday because I was too ticked and I'm trying to keep my mouth shut on other people's blogs when I am pissed off. So I posted my feelings about this and the whole crapola nastiness that has once again invaded the blogesphere after BlogHer. It's getting to be quite old.

I don't know you irl, but from what I've read from you and about you, whomever that nasty email was from has her own shit to worry about. People send shit bombs when they feel crappy about themselves. And anyone that does that is themselves, untrustworthy.

So, in conclusion, I'll kick some ass too, and I'm big and mean (heh) and honestly, FUCK THEM, whomever they are. You know the term asshats? Well apply it to them.

Sugared Harpy said...

I just read this and HOLY SHIT lady. Back away from the idiot email and get you some loving here.

Sometimes, people having nothing better in their lives but to bring others down. Let them live their miserable lives and enjoy the loves around you and in these comments!!

You are loved by this girl, baby!

Izzy said...

I don't know how my name got brought into some "gonna kick some ass" thing because I don't say things like that.

To clarify, I wrote "anyone who wants to talk some shit about my Jennster can kiss both our asses"

No asses shall be kicked. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

But, while I'm here, I would like to reiterate that in all the time I have known Jennster she has never been untrustworthy in any way. It's simply not who she is.

Robin said...

Jenn, I have no idea what happened or who this moron is but in a nutshell, you are THE shit. He is just shit.

Love ya girl!

Virginia Belle said...

hi ster! i'm catching up on your blog. reading the posts backwards, because i am both lazy and able to understand events in a reverse-chronological order.

but anyway, i am getting bits n pieces of some supposed asshole email, and i just wanted to tell you that it pisses me off. and i haven't even found the post yet!

i know you don't need a comment #47 (or is this 48?) but i just wanted to tell you i got yer back, biznatch. who are these freaks who do not understand that even if we disagree with each other on occasion, the blogosphere is a supportive place??? it's like...a law of the blog. none of us really truly know each other, unless we happen to know each other IRL. so no one can make assumptions about strangers who just happen to put a teeny tiny part of themselves on the internet every day or so.

this is total bullshit. you are the shit, ster.

ok, i am off to find "the" post.