i feel like a lot of women out there are on anti-depressants. or some other kind of medication. it seems to bond a lot of people when you blog about it, and how the relation can make you feel less alone (which is one of the many beautiful things about blogging and reading blogs).
but... i can't relate. *knocks on wood* and so while i can very strongly feel for you and what you're going through, i can truly only sit here and imagine what it must be like. i can empathize with you. i can feel pain for you. and i can hope with you that it gets better. and in all honesty, hope it never happens to me. i know that sounds bad, but what the fuck... am i supposed to hope i need to take anti-depressants one day to get through the day? i don't want that and i can't imagine that people who are depressed would wish the depression on others.
so now i need to talk about it a little bit, because in all honesty i'm a tad freaked out. i'm wondering if we women get this way with too many kids? or if that's a cause of it? because i can imagine the hormonal imbalance that could come out of having kids and stuff. and i have one kid (and a husband who really should count as kid #2, but for some reason doesn't) and i'm kind of thinking about what if having another kid not only makes me fat, but messes me up mentally?!? what if that kid pushes me over an edge that i don't even know i'm balancing on???? so i need to know if the depression or whatever issue ails you, was already pre-existing? did more kids, life, etc just exacerbate the issue? or did it just sprout up out of nowhere? one day you were a happy little jennster sprite and the next day you weren't? i need to know. fine, i don't need to know, but i'd like too. i want to understand. help me understand.
and please know that i'm not trying to be uncompassionate at all so i truly hope it's not coming off that way. and you're under no obligation to tell me anything (obviously). but thank you in advance to all who do choose to share.