Saturday, August 23, 2008

and this is MY fault how?

picture this.. i'm in suckbucks this morning ordering my usual grande chai tea latte (no water and extra foam in case you bitches ever want to bring me one, thanks)... i see the chick making the drink pour 2 shots of something into a grande cup. i assume it's not mine and wait for her to call my name. she finally does and i walk towards sam (my jeep) with my drink in hand. i take a sip of my supposed chai tea and almost die. that bitch put those 2 shots of coffee suckiness in my chai. so it was like a chai tea, coffee shot, mess. i almost spit it out everywhere. instead, i swallowed (such a good girl) and then wanted to puke. i loathe coffee. and shots of whatever the hell you people order in your coffee.

i go back into the store and tell her that it's not chai, but something horrid. she asks me if i'm sure. am i sure?? did she just seriously ask me if i'm sure. whatever. i played pleasant and told her of course i was sure. i know when something isn't chai.... and that's not it.

then the chick proceeds to spew this bit of genuis at me...
"wow. i wonder what this all means for you? i mean, maybe you're not supposed to have your drink today. maybe it got messed up for a reason. i wonder what it means."

are you fucking kidding me? YOU WONDER WHAT IT MEANS?!?!! maybe i'm not supposed to have my chai today??? maybe you shouldn't be making drinks today. maybe you're the one who fucked up the drink and all i did was stand here. why is it a message for ME?!?!! project much? displace repsonsibility much?!?! why wasn't she asking herself what the hell it meant for her? how the hell did this become all my fault and a freaking sign from the latte gods for me?!?!? help me out people.

30 comments:

Immoral Matriarch said...

Sounds like her weed is laced...

Robin said...

I think you should stalk her tomorrow when she gets out of her car, roll her in the parking lot and take her shoes.

Big Pumpkin said...

Hahaha....I'm sorry this happened to you. But just think, this happens on a daily basis here in Malaysia. Everyone is stupid. I can't believe I haven't committed murder.

T. said...

Sounds like she needs a new job. Or, you need a new coffee (tea) haunt.

I would follow her, and if she does something stupid, tell her it is the universe trying to tell her:

Here's Yer Sign.

Smug said...

I can't imagine that you let her off the hook for this comment or for her mistake. I want to hear the rest of the story - where you totally put her in her place and made her feel as dumb as she is.

I like immoral's comment - this chick's weed was probably laced!! LOL

SUEB0B said...

See, this is why I hate that "The Secret" bullshit. When something bad happens to you, it is because it is supposed to. And when something good happens to ME, it is because I am thinking the right kind of thoughts. That is just so wrong.

Black Hockey Jesus said...

She probably didn't know you were a blogger and that it might mean a lot of shit for people who read you.

Jennster. What do you think it means for me? Coffee + Chai = WTF for Black Hockey Jesus?

Amie said...

Oh, wow.

"What this means, in the grand cosmic scheme of things, is that you are a dumbass, and you need to make me another drink. My tarot cards just told me so."

Alison said...

This is why I hate Starbucks.

Maybe she just started college and is feeling all philosophical and shit.

Issas Crazy World said...

Holy crap batman! I hope you smacked her, It means that you have to make me the right drink asshat!

Jill said...

As I put down on someone elses employment card Friday.....to stupid to work here!

Angelika said...

See, I would have gotten 'ethnic' on her instantly & asked to speak to her manager after I cussed up a blue streak!

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Shit, I hope I don't ever mess up your Chai! Don't feel bad, when I got in a horrific car accident a medical professional told me it must mean I was an ass in prior life and my karma was coming back in this life. I told her FUCK NO ... the car accident was because the ASSHOLE ran the stop sign. What's wrong with people?? Really?!!

SLynnRo said...

Holy. Shit. I would have killed her.

Anissa@Hope4Peyton said...

Ok, i swear I'm not laughing AT you, just near you. I would lose my damn gourd if I took a drink of my coffee...which is my lifeblood, mind you...and got chai. And? And? I so would not have played nice to the boneheaded douchebag who gave me that answer.

Stefanie said...

I think maybe it's time to start asking yourself some serious questions like "how do I get a job at Starbucks so I can fuck with people?" Maybe she thought you were too laid back and needed some caffeine or maybe she was on acid (I would be if I worked there.)

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Ok, so I'm the brilliantest person since I can explain, right?

It's not your fault because fault would imply it was wrong. What it means is that it's all consciousness, "it" being your life. You're higher self is creating certain events in your life, sometimes for higher learning, sometimes just for shits and giggles. It's hard to tell the difference.

What you should have told her is that you thought it meant you were to learn how to deal with dumb asses who can't do their job. heh. That woulda shut her up. But then she may have secretly spit in your real cup of chai, huh?

Ellie said...

It MEANS you're an IDIOT, coffee girl. Pfffff.

h31n0us said...

There's nothing worse than hippie idiocy...anywhere. You should have told her means she's going to get flicked by your index finger in the forehead until she gets the order right.

texas math said...

Oh my f'n god! I haven't read your blog in weeks...and this is the hilariousness i get!!!

I had another one of those laugh out loud while at the office moments.

Chickenbells said...

Yeah...Not a smart thing to say to someone who hasn't yet had their chai...If we walk into an overpriced coffee establishment we DO often expect to get the drink we paid for...I think an appropriate response would have been to take the lid off and dump it over her head and ask HER if SHE thought that it tasted like Chai?

gwendomama said...

sounds like you went to the hippie town today for your drink.


i think it all means something much bigger than it appears to be. i think it all means that she accidentally didn't get tipped, her tire accidentally got sliced, and karma took her number down.

Jenna said...

Wow. I think my jaw would have dropped. I would have asked to speak to the manager, but it sounds like you were just in complete shock of it all. Maybe you should have poured the drink over her head so she could smell the coffee in it. I don't wanna be mean or anything...but that's horrible customer service.

carrie said...

Oh, I am sooo missing my barista days now!

And that concoction is terribly wrong. Wrong! I say!

Angelique said...

As an employee of said establishment, I extend my most sincere apologies. I must say, however, that All Helleth hath broken loose since the big store closings were announced.
Love your drink choice by the way.
Totally love foam. Mmmmm, foam.
Hey, you should try your Chai with a few pumps of sugar free vanilla.
cheers!

jennster said...

angelique- that sound DELISH, but i'm scared. scared to like something as much as i love the chai. i hate that i love it so much i pay 3.50 for it. RIDICULOUS i tell you! :)

crazymumma said...

Oh! The server in Starbucks was so trippy to me today! I never go there and I did today long story and she was so ...rude and strange.

Izzy said...

I predict she'll be promoted to manager next week.

Virginia Belle said...

wow. i will file this story in my "things that only happen in california" folder.

were you tempted to throw the nasty drink in her face? cuz i would be.

i can understand your disgust. if someone put tea in my coffee, i would have been pissed, too. i can't stand tea in any way, shape or form. UCK

so send me all the boo-boo coffees, and i will send you the boo-boo teas, k? thanks. :)

Kristabella said...

She did not say that to you, right? I'd be all "know what this means? This means I am within my rights to bitch-slap you across the face AND get the right drink. I get that right when I PAY FOR A CHAI TEA LATTE. THAT IS WHAT THIS MEANS."