Sunday, August 17, 2008

aaand, my 10 year old just said the "f" word

apparently my son is not only a baseball player and a wannabe x-gamer.. he's also a future competitor in the foul mouth olympics (for which i hold 3 gold medals, fuck you very much).

we were out riding our bikes when blake tried to go down this crazy rocky, terrain, hill thing. i sat there watching, knowing the whole time the way mom's do, that this was going to get ugly. i knew he was going to crash. just knew it. but i didn't know that when he would finally crash, and roll down the hill with his bike on top of him, that he would scream "fuck" about 5 times at the top of his lungs.

so i'm running down this hill to get to him. my baby. my only child who is screaming "mommy!!!" and "i can't breath" in between the "fuuuuucks" and i don't know whether to hold him or beat the living shit out of him. and can i possibly beat him while hugging him, or would that send mixed messages?

so i run down there and i ask him "what are you saying???" and he goes, "fuck." and omg, i lost my shit. simply lost it. i told him how he can in no way ever say that word. if that's the first word that comes to his mind when he gets hurt, then he needs to find another word. he obviously needs to expand his vocabulary. i also told him that when he's an adult, he can say that word until it starts growing out of his ears, i don't care, but right now... at TEN YEARS OLD.. it is absolutely not appropriate or okay for him to speak like that. through his tears he agreed.

i know you might be sitting there thinking he learned it from me cause i'm probably one of the most foul mouthed people you know (or read), but he didn't. i don't cuss around blake. stop laughing, it's true. i am a fucking angel when that kid is around and the god dammed devil when he's not. that's how parenting works.

it also works like this. he's currently in his room reading. because he's grounded. until school starts on wednesday. that's right. wednesday.

know what else? he didn't put up a fight. he even suggested longer. little shit.

21 comments:

Alison said...

He is a good boy. But, I'm quite certain that 5th graders "try out" that kind of language around each other. By the time they're in middle school, they fling it around like it's nobody's business.

Anissa Mayhew said...

Ok, it's wrong to laugh at a child going head over ass down a hill, but the thought of that kid screaming "FUCK!" all the way down tickles me senseless. Oh so glad it wasn't my kid because I would KNOW he heard it from me. On accident, of course.

Meg said...

At least he's using it in the correct context!

Like Alison said, it has nothing to do with what you say when he's not around. It's all about the age and what they are learning from their peers. Good luck with that one!

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I've been trying to figure out at what age you ignore it? My 13 year old is cussing like a sailor all of a sudden, but he's got two older siblings setting bad examples. The older ones didn't DARE swear around me till they hit about 16. I am like you - try not to fling the swear words around the kids. Am I a hypocrite? Probably. 10 is young. Mine is 13, and I don't know if it's worth fighting over??

that girl (shelly) said...

Been there, cussed that... you did what needed doing and he'll be well read by the time this is al said and done. Just ask my cussing son.

Anonymous said...

I sent this to my husband and he thought that I had written it but changed the names.

Holy cow that was a funny funny story. My child said a choice word after dropping his sippy cup at a very young age. It wouldn't have been funny if he hadn't used the word in the right context.

Thank you for sharing!

h31n0us said...

Good work. I tried some stuff out on my mom in the way back. I wasn't even allowed to say, 'suck.' One grounding was all it took. It was just accepted you didn't cuss unless you were out with the gang where mom and dad couldn't hear.

There's no hypocrisy involoved. It's more like decorum.

Neurotic Grad Student said...

I remember the furor the first time I said the "s" word in front of my father...oh the memories!!

CAT said...

THIS MAKES ME LAUGH HYSTERICALLY.........
And not at the part about you not cussing around him, cause I know that you dont....but just the vision of Blake tumbling down and screaming FUCK a few times makes me giggle cause he is so right---that would be the first word I'd scream, and the first word many wold scream lol. I hate to say it, but I am SURE that it is a common word used among the boys at school.....lmao I know my kids that are almost 13 and almost 16 swear. I KNOW THEY DO. do I swear around them? GUILTY. Do I think they get it from me? possibly. But I also think that even kids with parents that dont swear will definitely swear from time to time. Its everywhere.
I hope Blake didn't get hurt..........on the fall. I miss you guys!

Issas Crazy World said...

God, I love that kid. I hope my son is just like him. Really I do.

I cuss whenever I'm not around my kids, very rarely sating anything on accident. I'd do the same thing you did. as long as he's okay, he deserves to be told not to cuss. I did LOL at the using Mommy and fuck at the same time though.

Hey, I gave you an award today.

Grim Reality Girl said...

I totally believe you on your ability NOT to swear in front of Blake. I don't swear in front of my shits either. Though I can do a mean imitation of a truck driver... have always out cussed my hubby (who used to be a construction worker). Hell yes. But you are right, not in front of the flipping kids (okay, FUCKING kids). I do respect your swearing while blogging abilities.... I've never been able to manage it with grace.

Also -- good for you for grounding his ass. Until Wednesday though? Light sentence -- just ask my two!

Oh almost forgot.... how IS Blake? Injuries not serious I hope??

Jill said...

Jenn, Jenn, Jenn......lol

Becky said...

omg lol i can't picture this cuz he's such a good kid lol. and cuz you really DONT cuss around him. wow. lol sorry but it's sorta funny. glad he's ok

Immoral Matriarch said...

I curse around my children allll the time. Am I a horrible mom? It's ok, you can tell me. :D

Mz. Nesbit said...

that is hilarious.

carrie said...

I heard a story over the weekend of a 3 year old who walked into Toys R Us for the first time and said "Oooooooh Fuuuuuuuuck."

Hey, appropriate language use is underrated.

Mama Wonder said...

Long time lurker. First time commenter.

This was so funny I read it to my husband through teary eyes. What makes it so funny is that this will be me and Boy Wonder. When he said crap and used it correctly in a sentence it throw me for loop. He was 2 1/2 and had Grandpa Rick to thank.

Robin said...

Sorry, I'm laughing at the expense of your child. That is just too damn funny. Glad he's ok though!

I'm the same way about not swearing around my kids. My 19 year old finally heard me accidentally swear about 2 years ago (i was on the freeway gimme a break) and just about passed out.

I loved it because I have a fuckin horrible fuckin potty mouth.

hope505 said...

I'm sure he picked that up on his recent trip out of town. Big fucking surprise.
* : )

jennster said...

dumbass.. aka hope,
what the fuck are you even talking about?

slackermommy said...

You know they know they fucked up when they insist on a harsher punishment.