apparently my son is not only a baseball player and a wannabe x-gamer.. he's also a future competitor in the foul mouth olympics (for which i hold 3 gold medals, fuck you very much).
we were out riding our bikes when blake tried to go down this crazy rocky, terrain, hill thing. i sat there watching, knowing the whole time the way mom's do, that this was going to get ugly. i knew he was going to crash. just knew it. but i didn't know that when he would finally crash, and roll down the hill with his bike on top of him, that he would scream "fuck" about 5 times at the top of his lungs.
so i'm running down this hill to get to him. my baby. my only child who is screaming "mommy!!!" and "i can't breath" in between the "fuuuuucks" and i don't know whether to hold him or beat the living shit out of him. and can i possibly beat him while hugging him, or would that send mixed messages?
so i run down there and i ask him "what are you saying???" and he goes, "fuck." and omg, i lost my shit. simply lost it. i told him how he can in no way ever say that word. if that's the first word that comes to his mind when he gets hurt, then he needs to find another word. he obviously needs to expand his vocabulary. i also told him that when he's an adult, he can say that word until it starts growing out of his ears, i don't care, but right now... at TEN YEARS OLD.. it is absolutely not appropriate or okay for him to speak like that. through his tears he agreed.
i know you might be sitting there thinking he learned it from me cause i'm probably one of the most foul mouthed people you know (or read), but he didn't. i don't cuss around blake. stop laughing, it's true. i am a fucking angel when that kid is around and the god dammed devil when he's not. that's how parenting works.
it also works like this. he's currently in his room reading. because he's grounded. until school starts on wednesday. that's right. wednesday.
know what else? he didn't put up a fight. he even suggested longer. little shit.