Wednesday, July 23, 2008

you wanna do what tonight? ha!

boyfriend likes to do things to me that i find annoying. you know, like teasing, poking, tickling, telling jokes to other people at my expense, roughhousing... annoying.shit. at this point i'm pretty convinced that most guys do this to their women. i'm also pretty convinced that while they say it's endearing, i'm not really sure what the hell it is.

so we were in bed the other night, and i don't know what the fuck he was doing to me, but he had me all like in a pretzel so that none of my body parts could move. and then the fucker tickled me! and while i'm in the middle of screaming something like, "you can't have me on lockdown and then do something that you know is going to make me squirm because someone is going to get hurt.. and OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

so anyway, i'm sitting there dying because i did something all screwed up to my back and it hurt when i breathed, moved, or just layed there. i think i pinched a nerve under my shoulderblade. the best part? boyfriend is like, "are we gonna do it?" and i'm like.. "what? are we gonna do it? are you crazy? no we're not gonna do it, but so help me god if i cannot work out tomorrow you are going to be in so much trouble!!!!!"

glad to know i have my priorities straight. working on my fitness obviously can.not.wait. sex with my husband apparently can.


suck it.

12 comments:

Alison said...

A pretzel? Impressive!

RWA said...

Those are some pretty screwed-up priorities.

:)

SLynnRo said...

This is so me.

Becky said...

LOL this is a typical night in our house. cept w/o the hurt back LOL

Katie said...

This is apparently a normal male activity? My husband does this regularly. Pins me down, does something that he can only do when I can't fight back, then I insist that it's not fair and then somehow, no matter how things go down, I end up hurt, and he's all, what?

I've resorted for reaching for the junk the instant it begins. That usually stops it before it starts AND cures the need to have sex immediately afterwards.

Jill said...

Would it bother all you ladies to tell you that 20 years later you will be going through the same thing??

I had to laugh when I read Jenn's comments and all yours but I am convinced that it is a expression of love in a weird assed way. The more you engage it the worse it gets.

Just remember it is good clean fun and yes you can get hurt on occasion but HEY at least they are doing it with you!! You have to admit that's a plus!

Immoral Matriarch said...

Wrestling is the best fuck foreplay ever. Am I weird?

Ali said...

oh yes. have been there. way too many times.

and i would have had the same reaction...only without the working out. since i'm a totally lazy ass.

Grim Reality Girl said...

Been married 15 years... similar annoying shit! Love it that you still call him boyfriend. As I recall the two of you DID make things official. Do you have something going on the side?

Kristabella said...

At least you actually work out. I have no reasonable excuse not to work and yet I NEVER DO. I'm just fat and lazy.

Dana said...

Oh my gawd, I can't stop laughing. Probably because I can hear your voice as you're yellin' at him. Hahahahaha.

Cokie said...

This is so great for me. My husband does this all the time and I thought I was alone. But I have to say that I got him to stop. I really hate being tickled, and being held down and tickled? oh that is just hell. I know he thought it would be fun, and that it's just his way of entertaining me, but it was awful and he doesn't do it anymore. But the jokes at my expense? Grabbing me too roughly? Wrestling holds? Oh yeah...he still does that and I like to complain about how much I hate it but honestly I would be so sad if he stopped. :)