Monday, July 21, 2008

why blogher is so awesome (and a little scary)

i've been reading quite a few posts where people are talking about being too scared to go to blogher. they aren't outgoing enough. they aren't social enough. they aren't <insert anything here> enough. and then i've also read some posts from people who DID attend this year and said they wouldn't attend again. their reasons were because they felt out of place. or because they found themselves spending more time in their hotel rooms, than out of them. and that makes me sad. really, really sad. i think that slynnro said it best when she wrote, "And I can certainly see how one, even one lacking self esteem issues, could walk away feeling left out."

because it's true. and i'm telling you first hand. i know you don't believe me because i'm crazy, silly, will talk to anyone and pretty much do anything, so i'll give you an example. at the infamous cheeseburgHER party, there was literally a point in time where i was standing in a corner by myself. one person spoke to me. one. and it wasn't to initiate conversation. it was just to say hello and that was it. and i felt like an ass. i felt like i didn't belong there. and of course i fucking belonged there. but it's easy to sometimes forget things. things that became apparent to me when i was talking to izzy on the phone yesterday.

things like:
at blogher- there are 1000 women. most of whom you don't know. most of whom you may not even read. so when you're at a party that includes hundreds of those women, you're not looking around at all the faces you don't know thinking about how you'd like to go talk to them and meet them. you're looking around at all those faces you don't know, praying you'll see one face you do. and the other people around you? they're not noticing that you're by yourself. they're doing the same thing you are.... trying to find one person they recognize. and in the time between recognizing no one and recognizing someone, it's totally terrifying. because you will think things like "wow, i'm going to spend this whole night by myself."

anyway, i truly hope that those who have written off blogher forever, will give it another shot. probably the best advice i can give someone going for the first time, or someone who has social issues, would be to room with someone. if you have a roomie, you have an instant buddy. you have someone that you can pal around with and talk with everyday. and hopefully, you won't feel so alone. i know that it can be tough (even if you're a rockstar).

but you know, i wouldn't miss out on the people i met for the world. because knowing them has made my life better. it's made it more fun, entertaining, and awesome. stories to come. some pictures now.

we live 20 minutes from eachother and never see eachother. we have vowed to stop sucking.
JENNY and JENNSTER

i'm just in love with her today, as i was on friday.
saturday 237

i never knew what i was missing with this awesome chick.. i made her blush!
liz henry and me!

and i was wrong. y loves me. see?
she loves me lots

22 comments:

SLynnRo said...

I DID say it best!

But really, I can see being scared off. I'm glad I put myself out there- you just have to. It's worth it.

whoorl said...

And I love you too.

(Now, get your ass down here!)

A Cowboy's Wife said...

If it wasn't for you, I don't think I'd done much of anything....I'm sure you got tired of having a shadow around though. Thanks for letting me stick around;)

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I'm a little scared of going next year. But I SO want to get over it and be there!

TLC said...

I was the one who wrote the post on BlogHer, To BlogHer or Not to BlogHer. I ended up going, and LOVING it. So for everyone you hear who had a hard time, there has to be another one who is immensely gratified to have made the decision to find her tribe.

I made friends this weekend I will have for life. And I discovered that even my lowly little blog has fans. :)

T@SendChocolate

Assertagirl said...

Do you think it was all the K-Y that made Liz blush?!

Getting to know you is making my life better, too! You've made some really great points here. As long as I can make it work financially, I'll do BlogHer again next year.

Immoral Matriarch said...

They were all amazing, right?? So were you.

Ali said...

it's true. having a roommate automatically means you aren't alone. you shouldn't - definitely shouldn't - only sit and talk to your roommate...but it does always give you such a great safety net.

(also...i had awesome roommates)

Marinka said...

Awesome pictures. I didn't go this year, but I am already pre-packed for next year. And sitting on my suitcase.

canape said...

That is so true.

I was much more outgoing this year. Upon sitting down at a table of three other women and chatting with them, I asked if they all knew each other beforehand and they said "no." I had just assumed that I was the odd woman out when I wasn't at all.

I think that happens a lot - that you just have to insert yourself into a group and start talking. And it turns out a-ok.

whymommy said...

Yes, on both counts. It was so nice to meet you!

Don Mills Diva said...

I really think that you get out of it what you put into it - you DO have to put yourself out there...

Missy said...

My roommate and I made a deal that we would talk to EVERYBODY that we wanted to talk to. We weren't physically joined at the hip all of the time (although it was good to know I had someone if I needed her) but we knew that we could call each other on a being a chicken at any time, so it was mental thing as well.

And that's my story of how I got up the nerve to scream at and hug Jennster.

Corinna said...

Jennster you totally rock you bad ass beotch! I'm so glad I met you and thank you for plastering the internet with pictures of my cleavage. My husband is thrilled and my mother is so proud.

I just made up that part about my mother.

Love you!

kristabella said...

Well said, my friend. I think we all had that moment of standing there thinking "what the FUCK did I just get myself into?" because it feels like you are the only one that doesn't know anyone.

But that feeling passes, you take another shot of wine and thrust your business card at someone else!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

I felt so alone so often even though I was surrounded with people. I sat at tables with strangers and made myself make friends so I wouldn't feel alone. I think as long as you realize that everyone feels like that it makes it a little better.

A little.

Shamelessly Sassy said...

I'm sad I missed BlogHer do to some scheduling conflicts. However, I'm there in 2009. I'll be the person with frizzy hair dry humping people. So prepare yo' self.

Jenna said...

All of the chatter above makes me feel much more comfortable about going. I'm so down with next year, depending on the locale, and yep, I think I will be investigating roomies. That actually sounds like a ton 'o fun.

Dana said...

awww! gorgeous pictures. I totally had the BEST time. Can't wait for next year.

Jen A said...

Two years I've sworn I was going to go, and two years I didn't get up the courage to go!

Maybe next year... *sigh*

Looks like you had a blast, though!!

Haley-O said...

I'm not so much scared to go.... Well, maybe a little.... Just content staying behind the screen. At least for now. It might change next year -- and I would have to put on a VERY BRAVE face, maybe even a full-on MASK (paper bag?) to get myself over there!

Grim Reality Girl said...

Glad so many of you went and had fun! I would love to go too, it just isn't in my reality of possibilities at this stage in my life. Color me green with envy but celebrating with you. Good post Jennster.... you put it well and almost took the fear out of going it alone. YOU my dear, ARE a rock star!!!