you guys know i don't really drink right? like, i will have maybe one (two at the max).. and even either of those is rare. i barely ever drink.
in vegas- i bought a coor's light and couldn't even get through a third of it. but that's cause i was super full from the buffet we had just eaten and i don't know why, but beer really makes me even more full- so i thought that if i drank the whole thing i would probably explode from the inside out, and while that might be entertaining for some (and surely documented in lots of pictures), it would make me really ugly in my casket... so yeah. i stopped drinking the beer.
that's also the night that i think i drank 2 gallons of vegas' finest.... their tap water. i told you how sick i was that night right? good lord. if you learn anything from me, learn not to drink the tap water there. apparently my constant bottled water drinking body can't handle shit.
i did buy a frozen pina colada when we were there! but it was out of one of those like grown up slurpee machines. and you know that since the whole thing is frozen, there's like no alcohol in there, cause when was the last time you saw rum freeze? right. never. so yeah, i don't think my frozen coconut slushee counts as drinking.
and all the drinks you saw me with at blogher? the ones with the limes in em? yeah, those are waters. i'm totally into water with lime.
the point of this? well it's to let you all know that i am one crazy bitch sober. this is how i am. i'm totally retarded, insane, embarassing, ass grabbey, boob grabbey, licker face, will pretty much do anything (and to anyone), etc and so on and so forth and "omg, what is she doing" sober. could you imagine me drunk?!?!?!! i would be completely out of fucking control. and i think i'm pretty out of control sober. so yeah. all the pictures you see of me doing crazy shit to people? ster is not.hammered.
now let me be clear that this doesn't mean you don't want to drink with me. cause YOU do (hear me black hockey jesus? you still want to drink with me, i promise).. i mean, you want to drink. it will make you more fun for me. and you'll be more willing to do the things i ask of you when you're hammered. you drunk pretty much equals me sober. so see, it all works out.
cotton candy cooter anyone?
do stuff to my cotton candy!