tomorrow morning i wake up, drag my happy ass outta bed and head to the airport with boyfriend. vegas. for 4 days. 4, very hot, i will probably melt and die, days. but i'm psyched. i'd probably be more pysched if boyfriend would stop pressuring me. i mean, he keeps saying shit like "you'd better win big money in vegas!!!!" oh yeah? i totally want to turn to him and be like, "why do i have to win big? why can't your happy ass win big? what's with all the pressure? i mean really. LAY OFF MAN!!!!!!!" and then accidentally push him down our stairs or something.
so until then, i'll leave you with this:
once upon a time during a conference called hogwhore, there was a girl named pinnho. pinnho told hennper that she would give her TWO HUNDRED dollars if she grabbed the innocent, orange chair sitting all alone in the corner of baggie bason's haus party. well first she said one hundred, but quickly upped it. i don't know why- hennper woulda done it for 1 hundie. anyway, hennper was like "oh hell yeah" and made a bee-line for that chair. she grabbed it all dirty like and thrust it above her head (the chair liked it) and started to make her way through the crowd. but halfway across the hallway of baggie's party, pinnho screamed out, "HENNPER! YOU KNOW I'M NOT GIVING YOU TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS RIGHT??" well fuck. and with that, hennper brought the poor lonely chair back to its spot in the corner of the room... and treated it to a lap dance. even inanimate objects need love too.
notice how the chair appreciates my fine, freaking skills? oh yeah.