Wednesday, July 23, 2008

off to vegas!

literally.

tomorrow morning i wake up, drag my happy ass outta bed and head to the airport with boyfriend. vegas. for 4 days. 4, very hot, i will probably melt and die, days. but i'm psyched. i'd probably be more pysched if boyfriend would stop pressuring me. i mean, he keeps saying shit like "you'd better win big money in vegas!!!!" oh yeah? i totally want to turn to him and be like, "why do i have to win big? why can't your happy ass win big? what's with all the pressure? i mean really. LAY OFF MAN!!!!!!!" and then accidentally push him down our stairs or something.

so until then, i'll leave you with this:

once upon a time during a conference called hogwhore, there was a girl named pinnho. pinnho told hennper that she would give her TWO HUNDRED dollars if she grabbed the innocent, orange chair sitting all alone in the corner of baggie bason's haus party. well first she said one hundred, but quickly upped it. i don't know why- hennper woulda done it for 1 hundie. anyway, hennper was like "oh hell yeah" and made a bee-line for that chair. she grabbed it all dirty like and thrust it above her head (the chair liked it) and started to make her way through the crowd. but halfway across the hallway of baggie's party, pinnho screamed out, "HENNPER! YOU KNOW I'M NOT GIVING YOU TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS RIGHT??" well fuck. and with that, hennper brought the poor lonely chair back to its spot in the corner of the room... and treated it to a lap dance. even inanimate objects need love too.
my boyfriend the chair
notice how the chair appreciates my fine, freaking skills? oh yeah.

12 comments:

Missy said...

It better be very freaking hot when I get there. (Saturday, if I can find my there from, like, The OC. Seriously.) Vegas, baby!

Carmen said...

I LOVED Vegas. Go see Blue Man Group if you can. You can drink during the show, which adds a whole NEW element of enjoyment.

I'm full of envy.

Carmen, Mom to the Screaming Masses, whose signin is messed up and who is too lazy to figure it out.

Ali said...

you and that chair?? HOT!

fairytalesandmargaritas said...

Damn I want to meet you and hang out with you one day!

Issas Crazy World said...

I think that chair wants you. Have a blast in Vegas.

Question though, didn't you and boyfriend get hitched?

Kristin said...

watch out chairs of las vegas, jennster is comin' to town!

Kristabella said...

Pinnho! I'm so going to call her Pinnho from now on! Pinnho offered me $10 to steal a bowl of Cheetos and I DID and never got my money. Have fun melting in Vegas!

slouching mom said...

hahahahahahahahah!

you're a riot.

Immoral Matriarch said...

LMAO!!

Have an awesome time!

SLynnRo said...

That was before Pinnho really knew you. And that you were insane. Because Pinnho? Would NOT have stolen that chair for $200. That door guy was SCARY.

RWA said...

All of the sudden, I find myself wishing I was a chair...

:)

Charles said...

Your Vegas posts are the reason why people come here! :P