even though i pretend i don't think about it.... i think about it. i mean, i don't obsess about it. but i definitely think about it. at least once a month. probably more. and the thing is- it's not that i really even WANT another kid. i mean, i know that sounds terrible and most likely isn't how i mean it at all.... but it's just that getting pregnant and having that belly doesn't really appeal to me. and then trucking around shitloads of baby gear to do even the simplest of things, doesn't appeal to me either. the bottles, the diapers, the baby bag, the stroller, the car seat, the everything. *shudders*
but then i think about blake. and how he's already 10 years old. and he's an only child. and while he's one hell of an amazing kid- he's still all alone. and i think of how badly that sucks. and how boyfriend and i both have brothers and sisters who are 8 and 10 years older than we are. and how even with that gap in years between us, we are totally close with them. and i know that even if blake was 12 years older than his brother or sister, it wouldn't matter. i'm sure that for a period of time, it would matter- but eventually it wouldn't. it makes me really sad to have blake be an only child. i know how badly he wants to be a big brother. i know how wonderful and caring of a big brother he would be. he deserves a sibling. and they deserve to have him.
i also have a few friends who were only children. and these friends are amazing, wonderful, caring (not selfish) people. but every single one of them wants to have more than one kid. they stress how crappy it was to be an only child. i think they mean that it would have been nice to have a brother or sister. someone to bitch about mom and dad with. someone that you're bonded too, no matter what. i actually don't know what was so crappy about it. but they all say the same thing.
and so i kind of freak out every once in awhile. i kind of freak out that blake is really missing out. or that he will because he will be "alone" forever.
were you an only child?? was it awful? do you only have one kid? do you want more? talk to me people...