Monday, March 17, 2008

pregnant is the new skinny

did a memo go out to pregnant women across the world that i missed? (note, i am NOT pregnant)... every pregnant chick i've seen for the past few months has been so.damn.skinny. (in short, they are not thick like steak) you can't even tell they have a bun in the oven until they turn their perfectly toned asses around and you see their belly. when did this happen?? when did being pregnant mean beoming all cute and non weight gainey? WHEN??? and HOW?!?!? don't these bitches eat?

not to mention the fact that after birthing, these chicks are probably skinnier than they ever were before birthing. why does this seem to happen to everyone except me? my two best friends are far thinner now after having TWO kids, then they ever were in high school or college. in a word (or two) NOT.FAIR. and how come i'm not like that? i've only had one kid dammit. and it was 9 years ago. and i'm still a fat ass. do i have to have another kid to get skinny again? that is so back asswards it's not even funny.

to all you skinny preggo bitches out there, good for you. i'm jealous. i'm jealous that you are thinner than i am WITH ANOTHER BEING INSIDE YOU. but you know what? rock on. look hot. feel hot. and then send me whatever the hell it is you're doing to me so i can become unthick.. not like steak. word.

5 comments:

Kristen said...

hi. fat preggo here.
anyone else care to join me?

Becky said...

LOL i'm right there with you. wtf? 5 years later i'm STILL trying ot lose the rest of the TONS Of weight i gained with hannah. it sucks

Alison said...

Both of my kids sucked all the pregnancy weight (and then some) right off of me....breastfeeding! It's fabulous!!

Grim Reality Girl said...

jennster... if you are freaking out my ship is simply going DOWN. Your skinny ass is NOT ALLOWED to complain about skinny ass pregnant chicks. GOT IT?? Don't make me get all Jabba the Hutt on you....

/why am I not dropping the baby weight 11 years later? Why didn't breast feeding save ME????? Shield your eyes!

Stephanie A. said...

I'm coming up on 36 weeks and me thick like steak. Could you please pass the A1?