Monday, October 08, 2007

bloggers, tell me it's not true

cause i have long had a sneaking suspicion that most of you are drawn to other people's drama. i don't think that you thrive off of it, necessarily, but i have found that the blogs that draw the most comments, constantly have a bunch of crap going on in their lives. and i don't mean happy crap. i mean, awful, who the hell wants to live through that, kind of crap.

so i started to wonder if people who read blogs, are drawn to that type of stuff? does my blog suck because i rarely have serious drama to blog about *knock on wood*?? have my comments completely lapsed because i don't tend to have bad things happen to or around me? *knocks on wood again*

or maybe it's because i don't play into the "blog about a cause" or "play nicely with other bloggers every friday" type of shit. i'm just not into that kind of stuff. i don't want to nominate other bloggers for their nice posts. but don't get me wrong, i do read them. i totally get that people are trying to create more of a community in our community of blogs. i know that it comes from a good place. but i just am totally not into it. i don't want to have to do that to get readers. i don't want to play games to have people read my blog. in my opinion, it's not genuine. well it wouldn't be for me.

i don't know. maybe it's because readers tend to come out of the woodwork when you have drama, because that's when you need them the most as a blogger? they offer support and words of encouragement- and i guess if nothing dramatic is going on, readers don't think you need them. but you see, even when i blog about chasing boyfriend with tampons, i still like to know y'all are there. i guess i don't "need" you perse, but in a way, i do.

i realize that part of this is totally hypocritical, cause i do the same exact thing. i read and don't comment. i guess i'm just trying to figure out why the drama is so damn enticing to others? or maybe it's not about that at all. maybe it's like i already said; it's not the drama, it's who the drama is happening too.


Karen said...

We are all drama obsessed. We watch Grey's Anatomy and care deeply (even if secretly) if Britney will get the kids back. I guess it extends into the blog world also. That is human nature, I think. Or at least I hope - because otherwise I am just abnormal.

I personally like blogs with drama, but also one that just make me laugh - or give me a glimpse into some else’s life that I can totally relate to.

jennster said...

karen- that is a good point. i guess when things get crappy, our interest is piqued more? or our heartstrings are tugged at more.

Jill said...

For me its whether the blogger is genuine and talks about there own life with passion. Is that drama? Maybe it could be that. Or there is a passion about life that radiates through that person. I started with your blog because I felt that it had passion and zest for life and the same for some of the other blogs I have read off of yours.

Husbands and my blog usually relates to something in our life or is informational (sometimes to much so)but hopefully it is a comic look at our life and it makes people laugh a quality I think is missing in most folks daily lifes. Maybe we just have empty nest!

Phoenix said...

I don't know, the Drama can be interesting. Kind of like watching TV. But I read tons of blogs with no drama, cause the drama can get old. Some are moms, who just talk about their cute kids. Some are photographers, who just show photos. I read things I like.

You don't need to change, you are fine just how you are.

I don't tend to get many comments, but I decided long ago not to care. Nor do I join in on the linking to big peeps and their causes all of the time. Only on occasion, when I believe in it. I don't fit into this world really. I just do it cause I enjoy it.

RWA said...

You make a very interesting point. I sometimes wonder if the "popular" blogs - even the ones by the good writers - aren't just the "in" thing to do.

I don't even look at "stats" for mine. I just figure if people read it, that's fine - and if they comment, that's better.

Sugared Harpy said...

I am bad a commenting. Really, really bad. I think it's because I mostly don't know that I have a lot to add day to day.

If there is drama, I don't comment more...but if there is something that strikes me personally (be it sad or funny or just closer to home) I do comment then. That could more or less drama-filled I think.

For example, your pumpkin beer raiding? HILARIOUS to me, because that is some delicious beer and one of my favorites. The widower thing? Just hits close to home.

I'm terrible at memes too, I forget about them too quickly. Distracted by some shiny thing in the house.

But I read. I read, read, read all the blogs I adore. I also desperately need to update my blogroll. I suck at that, too.

Sugared Harpy said...

oooh, I'll also add that I actively DO NOT comment on some high drama issues because of the sensitivity of it.

Something like infertility issues would keep me from commenting, but not from reading and learning. I'm a (once) teenage mother of two, who wants to hear that woman's comment? I wouldn't. But I gain a great deal from reading.

Alison said...

I have a few blogs I read because I enjoy the subject matter, the author, and the style of writing. Some are more drama-filled than others. I think the dramatic posts get more comments because, like you said, your readers want to let you know they support you and that they're there.

teebopop said...

I read every post you write.


I never feel like I have anything important to say. Besides, you're much smarter and prettier than me!

But, you ARE responsible for my house-hunting over the last three months. You started it. It just lit the fire to get me to do it.

jennster said...

you guys make me fucking laugh and THIS is why i love you.
i guess i needed to hear that even though i've gone from an avg of 40 comments per post to just a few... you're still there.. you still read.. i just suck and give you nothing to say. which is OK! really! LOL
tee- SHUT THE HELL UP WITH THE SMARTER AND PRETTIER CRAP. and YAY for house hunting!!!!! isn't it exciting?! i have to post about that soon. lol

Stephanie A. said...

I RARELY comment any more on any blog. I read yours, Becky's, F's and a few of my St. Louis girls' blogs daily. Otherwise, I read two other blogs because they are very well written. I have also started spending more of my online time looking at photography (like your friend TeeRish on flickr? she's freaking awesome and I love her shots. she just seems like she makes life more beautiful).

Part of why I shut down pickleness was that the drama of the blog world was a little disheartening for me. Like you, I went from more comments (though mine were closer to 15-20) per post to like two or three. That didn't bother me so much, but the whole "popularity" and constant need to network and comment thing did. (not you or any of the peeps I stay in touch with, btw). The other reason I shut it down is because the McDonald's people wouldn't stop going to my site for marketing purposes (the whole HUGO drink) and it kind of freaked me out a little. LOL

Anyway, I comment when 1) I have time or 2) I have something to say. But I'm a solid reader at home and at work- check my IP address!!! :)

jennster said...

pickle! i heart you so much!
and i TOTALLY hear you about the constant need to comment and network. which is part of what i'm bitching about, but maybe not wording or right- or maybe just being totally hypocritical altogether. *sighs*
i LOVE flickr. love it. and i so want to get more involved in the community of it, but i just can't until i have a kick ass camera.
trish is the best. THE BEST. her personality is more beautiful than her looks. she iswonderful.

Anonymous said...

It's all about relating for me.

If I feel for you (happy or sad) I come back for more...

If it seems that there are so many comments already, or if I just don't have the time...I'll skip the commenting altogether...

You crack me the hell even if I don't comment on every post...I am there with you...

That goes for most bloggers I read. I read them because I relate in one way or another.

Otherwise I'd be spending my days and nights reading blogs and then I'd get divorced and my husband would take the kid because I wouldn't be able to care for her there has to be some give and take.

end ramble

Amy said...

I blame feed readers! At least that's what I tell myself now that the comment count is dwindling mercilessly.

Parp said...

ok so i have to say it.......i've been reading and not commenting.....but that is changing TODAY!!!

really i am drama obsessed....but i dont read up on blogs for the drama in peoples lives (tho that does make them more exciting sometimes lol), i just want to keep in touch in a way that my totally stressed out way too much work how the hell do they think they can do this to me and think that i can ever get it done life can handle....sitting down to write an e-mail to ask whats going on....soooo time consuming!! reading up on a blog to see whats new....a GREAT way to procrastinate and feel like im really not losing too much time!

Mel said...

I seldom comment anywhere anymore. It feels like I've said it all, and only when someone asks for advice or is going through something or has completely made me break up laughing will I say something.
I seldom if ever win any of those blog awards. I'm not a remarkable blogger. I blog now because it's cathartic, rather than to gain readers. (Although that little bit of money I make from the CHBM ad is nice, too.)
I think, if I were ever given a real chance to quit my job and sit at home and spend all my time thinking up good blog entries, I could make something of the blog. And I would comment a lot more, and all that jazz. But who has time?
But never doubt it - I read all your entries through my Bloglines.

Andie said...

this is so so so true.

I hear ya!

Commenting to let you know that I"m reading! :)

Becster said...

I'm commenting cause i don't want to read and run - and kinda cause you made me feel like i should!!

Have to say that your blog cracks me up - you're a very funny lady!

dana said...

I have to say that I used to come here and comment almost daily and then life got busy and I couldn't keep up with all the blogs I wanted to read and now I'm so far behind I don't know where to start!

I still love reading your blog and sometimes I don't comment when I don't know what to say.


Gidge said...

I don't even read the blogs with Drama or madness.

Amanda said...

I think sometimes it's those kind of dramatic scenarios that can get someone to stop and take the time to jab at the keyboard, scan for gross typos and then deal with obnoxious "Prove you aren't a bot" word verification crap.

Personally, I like comments that prove a reader laughed or related in some way. I like impacting people, that said, I know I'll never get the triple digit coments that some bloggers get and I'm ok with that.

Elizabeth said...

I'm glad you wrote this post, because I wonder the same thing. I cut out almost all the paid posts entirely, although I still do free reviews in exchange for getting to keep the products, like a lot of people do. And I still write funny things my kids say and post cute photos about my daughter, but what gets me actual comments? Posts about my midlife crisis. Any time I write about how crappy I feel, how much I doubt myself, then people comment. It's frustrating.

Mitzi Green said...

"i don't play into the "blog about a cause" or "play nicely with other bloggers every friday" type of shit."

i think i love you.

Angelika said...

Who blogs about drama? Give me the addy so I can read it and then start some drama on my blog by insulting them.