Sunday, September 30, 2007
first of all, why are all the women halloween costumes so freaking slutty? granted, if i looked like the chick in the picture, i wouldn't mind at all, cause i would totally wear one. but i don't look like the model in the picture. and i'm guessing most of you don't either.
so yesterday while blake and i were shopping for halloween costumes, i decided to try one on. blake is going to be an old school gangster.. like al capone style. so we wanted to find one for me too. you know, a girl gangster with PANTS. well that wasn't an option, unless i was 12 because the costumes for grown ups were gangster chicks in skirts (how realistic). blake told me to try one on anyway, just to see. poor jennster. i don't even think i could get the thing onto my arms, much less my body. and once it was actually on, the skirt part ended a little past my waist. ummmm... no thank you. and now i feel like a fucking fat piece of lard.
and now i hate the girl in the picture above even more. stupid skinny whore. it's not like i didn't know better. i mean, the biggest the costume came in was a medium. and the medium is a size 6. so does that mean a large is size 8 and an EXTRA LARGE is a size 10???? who the hell designs these damn things?!??! since when did a size 10 become an extra large?!?! assholes.
well i found this costume online and i might go for it. but i mean, i'd have to order a triple decker extra large and pray it fits, since according to costume sizes, i'm the size of a hot air balloon. wish me luck.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
i remember why i loved the show in its first season.... the characters were FUNNY and charming, and the show felt like it was more about their relationship, than it was about doctor stuff. but as the seasons have gone on, it's definitely gotten more "doctorey" and less outside the hospital. and i think that sucks. because if i want to watch a show about all sorts of patients and surgeries, then i'll watch ER. what made this show so great was that the doctor stuff was never really the focus. the relationships and interaction between the main characters were the focus.
moving on. i loathe meredith. and all i kept thinking while i watched the season premiere was, "who the FUCK put that color lipstick on her no lips???" they should be fired. but back to hating meredith. i wish she would have died last season. she's so worthless. all she does is complain and whine. ALL.THE.TIME. i hate it. she brings me down, man. she's like this ball of worthless, negative, woe is me, energy. i get exhausted just trying to find reasons to like her.
and then there's izzy. i loved her spunk and i LOVED her love story with denny. that was truly great. but don't get me all invested in her "love" for the guy who dies, to have to turn around and suddenly be completely and totally in love with george?!?!!! GEORGE? give me a fucking break. how unrealistic is that? completely. and i cannot be the only one who thinks that the twosome of "gizzy" is the biggest load of crap. i'm more mad that she's just over denny like that. omg, i think i truly have issues with people getting over loved ones who die. seriously. but i think in a way i feel cheated as a viewer. i was invested in her loving denny. i felt her pain when he died and she couldn't get off the bathroom floor. that was so heartbreakingly realistic to me. but then she's over it. and she's in love with george. and she's always been in love with george. and it just makes everything a freaking joke. not to mention the fact that her constant rants are annoying. now izzy is the smart, thoughtful, and inspirational one? most of the time i just want to smack her.
alex loving that stupid, lying, hospital girl is lame. LAME. he doesn't love her and i don't buy it that he does. not even for a second.
george leaving callie (next week or whenever) and callie turning from a super likeable and understandable character, to a weak and bitchy one sucks.
i honestly don't know why i even watch this show?!?! maybe i keep thinking it will get better. or the characters will change BACK to being likeable again... or they'll get new writers who kill off meredith and everyone else who sucks in one big hospital explosion! oh wait, they already did that.. but stupid head meredith didn't die. dammit.
at least christina and bailey are still the same. their characters i think are the only ones who have remained fairly consistant. for now...
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
we're in serious beer competition with boyfriends best friend, jimmy. samuel adams makes octoberfest beer once a year. ONCE A YEAR PEOPLE and it is boyfriend's favorite beer. they literally sell it for about a month and a half and once it's gone, it's gone. last year boyfriend went to store after store where the clerk would tell him "some guy just came in and bought me all out." that "some guy" was jimmy.
so this year, it's on. we literally run to every store every chance we get, looking to buy the beer. sometimes the store doesn't even carry it. and sometimes "some guy" just bought the last of it. can you picture us, driving to 10 stores a day looking for beer? you can? good. cause we do. it's funny. we are determined to win this year. this year, OCTOBERFEST WILL BE OURS!
jimmy sent us a weak text message that looked like this:
so we sent him this one back:
"it's on like donkey kong, biooooootch"
oh yeah. the beer wars are on. but this year, we are SO winning! GO TEAM POINT!
Monday, September 24, 2007
and the guys from that band that look familiar, although you can't name them, ARE that band that look familiar, but you still can't name them...
and those people from that tv show brothers & sisters... well you are on the disney lot, so YES, it is really them too.
not that any of this is news to you.. i mean, you used to work at disney, so you're used to seeing all sorts of fun actors and stuff there. (but it's still fun)
and then there's the guy who refuses to acknowledge the fact that there is an entire line of us waiting in the A line at the southwest terminal- and he just goes to the front and stands in front of all of us.... well, he's just an asshole.
and it really freaked me out that the 2 stewardesses on my flight back up here looked like they were literally 16 years old. it's just not right. it's almost uncomfortable. seriously. never thought about it before. never had too. but apparently i don't want to be "served" on an airplane by chicks who look like they're in high school. although i'm sure none of the guys on the plane were complaining... which doesn't surprise me.
Friday, September 21, 2007
i am so sick of waking up to shit like this. so tired of people killing people. kids killing other kids (or at least trying too). when does it stop? when does it end? or good freaking gravy, WHY does it keep continuing?
i hate guns, i truly do. but i don't think that the gun is to blame. i definitely think the person who pulls the trigger, is where the blame lies (with all sorts of other things factoring into it, yet still). BUT, i do think that having a gun makes it a hell of a lot easier to kill someone. there's nothing personal about aiming a gun and pulling its trigger. hell, you don't even have to be in close proximity to someone to kill them with a gun.
i'm just tired of all the madness. i'm tired of people not being safe in places where they should be perfectly safe. or where they shouldn't have to worry about freaking getting shot at. and i know, most of you will comment and say that nowhere is safe anymore and it's silly to think that it is... but just how wrong is that?!?! and why do we accept that? why is that okay?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
i like foam. extra foam. but i don't like it poured into the drink. i like it scooped by the spoonful on the top. and i don't like the crappy foam either. the foam that is basically just a bunch of air. the moment it hits your cup, it disappears. the foam that has no taste. no consistancy. no texture. the foam that is worthless and should die a horrible death. the foam i always seem to get when i order extra foam. yeah, that one sucks and it pisses me off.
but this..... this is the picture of perfection.
this is the foam that makes angels sing and the heavens clear. foam you could dive into and live in! this is the foam of the gods. it's thick. it's sweet. i want to bathe in it. i love this foam. i actually have to stop myself from licking my computer screen. i want to lick it so badly! but i won't...... i think.
omg, someone shoot me.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
why?!?!? i mean, it's not that i would want boyfriend (or husband even) to be miserable, but why the fuck can't he happy and alone?! lol - i'm serious though! i mean, i get it that no one wants the love of their life to be miserable forever. you don't want them to be so consumed with grief that they stop living their life. i get all that. but why can't he find happiness by himself? why does he HAVE to love someone else?
i realize how fucking ridiculous this sounds as i type it. i realize how it's selfish and probably immature, or something as equally sucky. but it's just that when i think about the type of love that boyfriend and i share... and just how rare i think it all is.. i simply don't ever want to be replaced. even when i'm dead. i guess there is a part of me that feels that if he could just move on and love again, then he really didn't love me the way he claimed to in the first place. i feel like the type of love we share isn't something that someone else could just come in replace. i do not have shoes that any other woman in this world could fill. and if he did just move on, and truly love someone deeply again, i would in a way feel like our love was somehow fraudulent. I KNOW HOW RIDICULOUS THIS ALL SOUNDS. i am sure that part of this stems from the fact that i was a single mom for years and didn't "need" anyone in my life to make me happy. i was alone and i was okay with that. ever since meeting boyfriend, i've known that it's either him, or no one. and i mean that. and i'm perfectly okay with that.
another reason probably stems from the fact that i have always wanted to be different. i mean, what girl doesn't want to be that one girl for her guy? ladies, you know what i'm talking about here. you meet a guy who can't be tamed... or won't be tamed... but you're the one who tames him. you're the one who makes him feel things he swore he'd never feel. you want to be the one who is different. the one who matters. the one he wouldn't ever be able to get over if he ever lost- in every sense of the word.
so as boyfriend and i talked last night about the fact that if i croaked, i'd want him to be happy.. but loveless.. he just laughed. then he said something about having needs and i kneed him in the balls. just kidding. but still.. am i really the only person who feels this way? does everyone in the world truly wish more love for their significant other if they weren't around?! and is it totally screwed up for me to be like... be happy, but alone? omg, it is huh?
Sunday, September 16, 2007
like this morning for example. this sleezy guy in a super old convertible bmw pulled up next to me and made this face when he saw me. blah blah, whatever.. i pretended i couldn't see him.. or that i didn't see him.. or that i didn't care. but he wouldn't fucking drive away. he just stayed next to my car until i turned and looked at him and he motioned for me to roll down my window. i rolled it down, very annoyed, and asked the douchebag, "what?" in my bitchiest tone. to which he replied, "if you aren't married, i'd like to take you out on a date."
if i'm not married? IF I'M NOT MARRIED? are you fucking blind, or just stupid?!?! so i flashed my bling hand and informed him that i was "SO totally married" and he got annoyed. ANNOYED! this is when laser powered diamonds would come in SO handy! i would have lasered all of his tires and cut holes in the side of his dumb car for being such a chump.
but really.. laser beam firing rings?! i would SO buy that!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
trish and i were at lunch when one of the waiters was like, "are you from so cal?"
i got SO excited because my brain actually started to think things like... he thinks i look la!! he just KNOWS that i'm from so cal.. i exude southern california-ness... yay for me!!!!
but then i said, "yeah! i am! how did you know?!?!"
and he goes, "you're wearing a dodgers shirt."
good lord people. could i be any more lame?!?!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
and sometimes i feel like i'm the only one. like i'm the only person who can't "get past it." like everyone else carries on with this day as if it's just like any other. and i want to scream how NOTHING ABOUT TODAY IS LIKE ANY OTHER! DON'T YOU REMEMBER?!?! HOW COULD YOU FORGET? HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE?? HOW CAN IT NOT AFFECT YOU ANYMORE?! it seems like so many people have truly forgotton what today is until they are reminded of it. and even then, they can shrug their shoulders as if it's nothing and carry on. i can't do that. i can't shrug my shoulders as if it meant nothing and carry on. and i hope i'm never able to. i hope i'm never that unaffected.
so today, six years later... i haven't forgotten. the pain is still real. my heart still aches. i still can't watch a single fucking thing about 9/11 without my eyes welling up with tears. i still find myself gasping for air when certain images are shown. i am still very aware of how my chest hurts to breathe, or how i'm simply not breathing at all. i feel it all. so much. and it still hurts. and i don't understand how it doesn't hurt for everyone.... if even for just one day.
last year i remembered sal calabro. this year, we can remember him again.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
i barely ever blog about work, but something as big as this deserves a post dammit! i have a new position within my company. i still get to work super closely with my boss (which is a plus in my book), but i also have tons of new responsibilities and all sorts of new challenges. i can't even put into words what the past 5 weeks of my life have been like. i was juggling numerous tasks and my mind was completely consumed with all things work. it literally took over every waking moment of brain space i had. i was exhausted. beat down. emotionally and mentally drained.
but then i got to focus on this new position, and this new position alone. i heard angels sing. no really, they broke out into song. and while some weight was lifted, there wasn't full relief. there still isn't. and i think it's because i'm trying to wrap my head around everything that this new position entails.
don't get me wrong, i am SO UNBELIEVABLY excited about this opportunity. it's just that i'm nervous and scared too.... because well.. i could completely fail and fuck it all up. i won't. but i could. and i think that everyone feels that to some extent when they're starting a completely new job that they have never handled before. it's challenging and at times, completely overwhelming. but it is awesome. i know that i'll feel good about it once i truly feel like i have it all down. you know, when the tasks become second nature. i am looking forward to when it feels like that.
the best part about this job. the very bestest estest estest part about it? I GET TO FLY TO LA! even though i won't get to play most of the time, i don't care! i get to visit. breath the brown air. soak in the heat. just be there. and that is like the biggest plus ever in the whole world to this new position. first flight? this friday. can't wait! wish me luck!
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
boyfriend and i went shopping yesterday to check out tv's. we made the rule before we left the house that we absolutely do not need anything bigger than a freaking 50" tv. we don't even NEED anything that big. but still. we gave our word to eachother. anything bigger than 50 was totally unnecessary. and we wouldn't even consider it.
............. until we actually get to the store. who knew that you could freaking barter at best buy & circuit city? seriously?! did you people know you could talk the prices of things down?! it's a good thing i never knew this before.
so there we are, looking at a perfectly fine and enormous 50" samsung tv when the guy tells me that he'll sell me the 56 incher for only $150 bucks more. COME ON! was this a test? was i supposed to able to resist? remember the pledge boyfriend and i had made and simply walk away? AS IF!! 6 more inches for 150 bucks more? that's it?
you all know what i did. i said yes and boyfriend sat there smiling because he knows what a complete sucker i am for this type of shit. and then of course he can say it wasn't his decision, since i'm the one who said yes.
so now we have a ridiculously large television in our ridiculously small living/dining room. the fun part about it? i can now convince boyfriend that we need a house that fits our tv. and not the other way around. HA!
it's hard to tell it's largeness, but look at it in comparison to the picture on the wall. isn't it perty?