is kind of sad really. thank the goddess i'm not ditching my last name altogether. in an instant, i've become one of those people. you know, one of those people with a hyphenated last name. i think my eyes just rolled at myself.
yet, all the time, people just dump their last names and use new ones. seriously. girls all over the world do it everyday. and probably don't even think twice about it. why is that?! not really why don't they think twice about it, but why is it so hard for me? how come to so many other people it's no big deal at all to take on a new name? why is it such a big deal for me?
maybe part of it is because i love my name. it's who i am. i identify with it. (dur, i know). but it's the only name i've ever known. and IT'S MEEEEEEEEEEE! it's MY name. i am jenn lastname. and now i am jenn lastname-newlastname. it's just weird. it's just different. and will i ever really introduce myself to people as jenn lastname-newlastname? cause that just seems even weirder. honestly. i feel like i'll always just be jenn lastname. i mean, that's who i am dammit. and i earned it. i've made that name what it is. which is nothing really, but it's still me. and maybe that's just it. maybe i feel that by changing my last name, i'm losing a part of who i am. or who i am is changing. and i like who i am. and i'm not always good with change.
i know this is ridiculous i'm sure. i know i must sound like an idiot, but i just left the social security office to add the new last name onto the old last name and i'm just a little sad about it is all. and it's not like men can relate. they don't have to ditch their identities when they get married. so they have no idea what it feels like to suddenly have to take on this new name.
i don't know. did you change your last name? did you even care? would you change your last name? would you not change? would you hyphenate?