i guess it's true that once you get married, things start happening fast. or maybe you just get bored? or maybe you just WANT STUFF? or maybe it just seems like the next logical step in becoming a grown up?
we got preapproved for a home loan on saturday morning and by saturday evening we were out scouting neighborhoods and looking at houses.
of course i was an emotional wreck the whole day thinking that blake would not want to move again. the thought of hurting my child literally causes me pain that i cannot even begin to describe. and i kept imagining him being so torn up about it, that i could barely breath. saturday was full of emotional breakdowns by yours truly.
it's just that the last thing i want to do as a mother is make decisions that aren't the best ones for my child. so boyfriend and i decided that we would involve him in the decision. see if moving to the next town north would be okay with him. of course this means new everything (school, baseball, daycare, doctors, dentist, neighborhood, friends, etc). and of course i think we were both prepared for him to freak out, be upset, cry, and say he didn't want to move. and if that happened, we were going to really have to talk about if moving was the right thing for us or not. ideally, we would stay in the same town. but realistically, we can't afford it. and we can afford a really nice place in the next town north. and i honestly think i like that city better. it's bigger and has more to do. it allows for growth where this place doesn't. plus we could have a HOUSE! a house! which is almost too much fun to really even think about!!!!!
so when blake got home, we talked to him about it. he didn't even blink before giving us a thumbs UP sign (which he has been doing all the time lately. everything is either a thumbs up or a thumbs down and i pretty much want to kill whoever taught him this lame shit). he said that he "didn't care" if we moved and that he wanted to move and it was cool! talk about a weight being lifted!!!! I LOVE THIS KID!
it's scary though. and i know that everyone tells me the same thing- you just make it work. and i get that, i really do. but when you write down numbers on paper and those numbers are supposed to be numbers you can afford, it just doesn't seem right. i immediately freak out and think "we don't bring home that much extra a month to afford that kind of mortgage!" it's freaky. and overwhelming. and boyfriend and i both walked out of our preapproval meeting with headaches. all the jargon is like listening to people speak in french. i feel like i just cocked my head to the side and smiled like a nice little english speaking girl... all the while wondering "what the hell did she just say? what the fuck is she talking about?" the whole financing lingo is beyond me. just give me money i can truly afford. and don't give me more than that. you know?
for as scary as it all is, it's really really really exciting!
ps- we are apparently poster children for credit scores.
pss- guess who has the better credit score?