first of all, i just have to say thank you so much to each and every one of you who commented or emailed me in regards to my last post. so many of your comments were so well thought out, supportive, and kind. i love it when you guys tell me how you can relate. i love hearing your stories! so thank you again. i truly appreciate every single comment, even the ones i don't agree with. i honestly can't tell y'all enough just how much it means to me that you read what i write, and that you respond. i mean, your comments aren't little chinsy ones either- they are LONG, meaningful and honest. i know i'm just repeated myself in various ways here... but i just want you to know that i never take you for granted.... and just how much i truly and sincerely appreciate everything and all of you. you really are the best.
lastly, i just want to touch on things a tad bit more. blake walking me down the aisle is the most natural thing for me. i want blake to feel like he is a part of this day. i don't want him to feel left out, or feel like this day has nothing to do with him. so him walking me down the aisle is beyond perfect in my mind. and i'm not being "given away"... i'm being "shared." we are wording it so that it will say something about sharing me with boyfriend and blake will have to concur. it really doesn't get any sweeter than that, does it?
and jaymonster- while your comment was the one single comment that made me cringe inside, i realize that i hated it so much because it just might be how my dad feels. i can only assume that he's as offended/insulted as you say any father would be. i didn't intend to insult him with my decision, but i can see how he would be insulted. the part about the whispering though- i really think that if he DID walk me down the aisle, that's when the whispering would begin. not that i would care either way. you see my decision isn't about anyone else's opinion or feelings. it's about what i feel is best, and really, sincerely, true to myself. and having him walk me down as if we have a great relationship and he has every right to be doing that, just isn't how i feel anymore. also, i don't want people to think blake is walking me down the aisle because my dad isn't there. i want them to know that i CHOSE blake and that i WANTED blake to walk me down the aisle. i still think it sucks that my dad can't get past that part and at least attend the wedding of his daughter, but what can you do, right? i think DDM has a very valid point when she talks about it being an excuse. that he doesn't want to face people. because i definitely think that's true. when it comes to this kind of controversy, i've learned that he is a runner. he doesn't stand strong and tall and face the music- he runs away and pretends it doesn't exist. and the bottom line is, it's not really my problem. i'm not the one who will look back on this and feel bad that he didn't come. i mean, i will always know that he CHOSE to not attend. and no matter how he twists it or turns it, that choice will never be my "fault."