and it won't leave.
the wedding is slowly, but surely, getting closer. before you know it, it will be june (the month of the wedding) and i will probably start completely freaking out. i had a moment the other day when i started shaking and my mind almost had a melt down because in that tiny fraction of a moment i realized that people are actually GOING TO EAT THE CAKE!
i know, i know- i am weird. but it's like i've been planning for this day for over 2 years and everything just seems like plans. plans that are never actually going to happen. they're just plans that will stay plans forever. but then i realized that my delicious, and potentially hideous, cake will be at the reception and i am actually going to have feelings about it and the way it looks and tastes and i freaked out! but it passes as quickly as it arrived. thank the goddess.
there is still much to do. i haven't gotten a single concept design from our graphic designer for the cd's. so i'm waiting for those to come, so we can make adjustments, print them, and then put them on 300 cd's. boyfriend's dad is marrying us (which i think is the coolest thing in the world), but that means we pretty much have to create the whole entire ceremony, vows, etc. i'm still waiting for the last of the annoying rsvp's to come in. and if they're late, do you start calling people or what? once i have all that confirmed, we have to give the final headcount and pay off the reception site. and then i have to create the seating chart, where if one more person tells me where to sit them, i'm sitting them outside (where there are no tables). and in keeping with the seating chart, i have to create and print all the labels for people that tells them where they are sitting. not hard, just time consuming. i have to put together gift baskets and a bunch of "have to wait until the last minute" reception decorations. i still have to get alterations on my dress and break in my shoes. and i have to pray to the goddess that my hair and makeup will be stunning, because for peets sake crying out loud, i am freaking the fuck out about it.
but above and beyond all of this, i have to make blake's birthday special for him. i specifically did not want to get married before blake's birthday because i didn't want to be on the honeymoon during his birthday and i didn't want our anniversary to come before his birthday every year. so it's after. but it's close after and i'm afraid that this year's bd will be totally overrun by wedding details, and i don't want that. so i'm trying very hard to make sure the day of his bd is all about him and not about the wedding at all. i can do it!