my heart. it hurts.
my head. it throbs.
this virginia tech shooting.. 4 days before the "anniversary" of columbine. 8 years that sometime feel just like yesterday.
things like this make me so incredibly sad. yet, among my sadness is my incredible desire to know. all.of.the.details. it's sick really. but i guess it's because when something like this happens, i want to make some sort of sense out of it all. and the only way to do that, is to have "answers."
i stumbled upon this kids livejournal. and in reading his blog, i found my heart aching for his pain. aching when he talks about kids just wanting to grieve and the media being in their faces, taking millions of pictures. and i understand both sides- because i'm on the outside, wanting to look in. i'm not there, but i grieve with everyone there. and seeing the pictures.. hearing the voices.. being brought there through the media, helps me. which as i write this, sounds really, really selfish.
i know that everyone is criticizing the police and asking questions. i mean, isn't that always the first thing they do when something like this happens? they did it at columbine. and now they're doing it for here. i just think that people need to keep in mind that no 2 situations are the same. no 2 freaking pyschotic killers are the same. everyone talks about preventing these situations, and i just don't think we can ever truly do that. simply because no 2 people are the same. they don't have the same thoughts, the same plans, the same motives, etc. the only thing that stood out to me was that the university sent everyone emails. and all i know is that if it was me, i wouldn't be checking my email first thing in the morning. now a text message on my cell phone is another story. maybe they should put that in place. or maybe not rely on just 1 form of communication in an emergency. doesn't the school have sirens? ring those fuckers. hopefully we can all learn from this and every university can make sure they have something in place for something like this. i know it's awful and horrible and at all of these people's expense.. but i like to think that something as terrible as this, can have good come from it. it has to. because it can't have all been for nothing.
virginia tech's school newspaper has been the best source of information, in my opinion. they are constantly updating. you can find them here. but if it's not working, try this link.
i want to end this post with my thoughts, respect, love, condolences to all of the victims, their families, their friends, people who just saw them on campus but didn't know them and the community of blacksburg, virginia.
today my heart breaks for you and your lives cut short:
Matt La Porte
Jamie Bishop Instructor
G.V. Loganathan Professor
Liviu Librescu Professor
Kevin Granata Professor