Tuesday, April 17, 2007

tears for virginia tech

my heart. it hurts.

my head. it throbs.

this virginia tech shooting.. 4 days before the "anniversary" of columbine. 8 years that sometime feel just like yesterday.

things like this make me so incredibly sad. yet, among my sadness is my incredible desire to know. all.of.the.details. it's sick really. but i guess it's because when something like this happens, i want to make some sort of sense out of it all. and the only way to do that, is to have "answers."

i stumbled upon this kids livejournal. and in reading his blog, i found my heart aching for his pain. aching when he talks about kids just wanting to grieve and the media being in their faces, taking millions of pictures. and i understand both sides- because i'm on the outside, wanting to look in. i'm not there, but i grieve with everyone there. and seeing the pictures.. hearing the voices.. being brought there through the media, helps me. which as i write this, sounds really, really selfish.

i know that everyone is criticizing the police and asking questions. i mean, isn't that always the first thing they do when something like this happens? they did it at columbine. and now they're doing it for here. i just think that people need to keep in mind that no 2 situations are the same. no 2 freaking pyschotic killers are the same. everyone talks about preventing these situations, and i just don't think we can ever truly do that. simply because no 2 people are the same. they don't have the same thoughts, the same plans, the same motives, etc. the only thing that stood out to me was that the university sent everyone emails. and all i know is that if it was me, i wouldn't be checking my email first thing in the morning. now a text message on my cell phone is another story. maybe they should put that in place. or maybe not rely on just 1 form of communication in an emergency. doesn't the school have sirens? ring those fuckers. hopefully we can all learn from this and every university can make sure they have something in place for something like this. i know it's awful and horrible and at all of these people's expense.. but i like to think that something as terrible as this, can have good come from it. it has to. because it can't have all been for nothing.

virginia tech's school newspaper has been the best source of information, in my opinion. they are constantly updating. you can find them here. but if it's not working, try this link.

i want to end this post with my thoughts, respect, love, condolences to all of the victims, their families, their friends, people who just saw them on campus but didn't know them and the community of blacksburg, virginia.

today my heart breaks for you and your lives cut short:
Maxine Turner
Henry Lee
Matt La Porte
Jamie Bishop Instructor
G.V. Loganathan Professor
Juan Ortiz
Jarrett Lane
Ryan Clark
Leslie Sherman
Caitlin Hammaren
Liviu Librescu Professor
Kevin Granata Professor
Reema Samaha
Emily Hilscher


norcalgirl28 said...

Jenn, totally in their defense, I heard on the radio this morning that AT THE TIME OF THE SHOOTING they had detained and were talking to a "person of interest" in the dorm shootings. They thought they were talking to the only person they had to worry about at the time. The e-mails, as it turns out, were sent after the killer committed suicide, but they didn't know that fact. Some of the students also pointed out that they don't LIVE on campus and they were just coming to school when this was happening. They felt there should have been a loud speaker announcement warning them not to even come on campus as the classroom shootings had already started. I agree with their feelings on the reporters in their face. They are going to have a gathering this afternoon and I was really hoping they would say, "please no reporters". It is really their time to grieve among themselves and not have to worry about how the rest of the world perceives their grieving. These people were educating our future and the kids were our future...it is not fair that they are gone.

Beth said...

It's all just so crazy and makes no sense whatso ever. and I feel bad about the media being in the kids faces and all, but people have a need to KNOW, to relate somehow. But, man, I have to turn the channel cuz I just can't stand hearing about it anymore. It's all so depressing.

texas math said...

Not being too far removed from campus life, something like this really affects me, but I don't blame the university or the police for anything...people think its really easy to lock down a campus as if it were only a few buildings within a single block..its a small community and it would have taken hours to secure the whole campus...whether or not anything else could be done is always going to be up to speculation.

As for the media...yes I've been trying to get the latest updates on the situation, but as a whole we always tend to go too far with wanting to know the whole story. If only we could find a middle ground, then we could allow the Virginia tech community to mourn and get all the facts we need as well.

Meg said...

Oh man. I had to turn off the tv this morning because I was crying so hard when I was getting ready that I couldn't get a grip. It's just devastating. Thanks for linking to their school paper. I also have that sick desire to know the details.

Karen said...

Jenn, thank you for mentioning this today. I was appauled that most of the blogs I read daily talked about American Idol, Suri Cruise's 1st birthday, and how happy the bloggers were. I cannot be happy today. This deserves mentioning.

alison said...

I'm like you---I want all the details. I want to know who the victims were---their names, ages, about them and their families. You know, the stuff that makes you hurt even more. It's sad that something like this happens where people should feel absolutely safe. And, it is hard to "lock down" the campus. ANY campus. I often think about this at the school where I teach...what if someone came on to campus or a kid lost it during passing period or during lunch? Getting all of those kids to safe places is near impossible.

And, not to be a twit, but wasn't Columbine on April 20th? Is the anniversary held on a different date?

alison said...

My mistake...I misread the 4 days before and the 8 years....my mind focused one the "8" and "days"...you're right. Carry on.

alison said...

I can't spell either. ON. ON. ON.

Nancy said...

Thanks for writing about this. It's been constantly on our minds in this house since the tragedy happened -- my husband is a Virginia Tech alumnus, and I have coworkers whose kids attend Tech. It's just a horrible, incomprehensible tragedy.

RWA said...

I am thoroughly disgusted with all of these reporters shoving microphones and cameras in the students' faces. Leave them alone.

The school should restrict the media to certain areas and if students want to talk, they can meet them there.

I am glad you included Liviu Lebrescu's name. I read about him yesterday. A 76-year-old professor who was a Holocaust survivor. He blocked the door to his classroom with his body while his students climbed out the window to safety; Lebrescu was shot and killed by the gunman.

I wish the media would focus more on the victims and less on the gunman. To me, in a strange way, that glorifies the person - especially in the minds of potential other psychos like this down the road.

jennster said...

rwa- i think that is a BRILLIANT idea... restrict them to certain areas and allow people to talk to them if that is what they choose. i'm sure they can still get pictures of people grieving without being all in their faces about it.. argh, that's what telephoto lenses are for.