i think people think it's cute to personally hand me their response card to the wedding of the year.
first of all fuckers, it ruins the surprise of WHOSE response card this will be.
secondly, you're taking away precious amounts of excitement i get walking to the mailbox each and everyday. you do realize that the response you just had to hand me, could have been waiting for me in my mailbox, where it belongs, don't you?!?!
and last, but not least... i paid for the postage! i didn't put stamps on there for my health.
maybe i'll punish everyone who didn't mail me their response by putting them in the corner table behind the fireplace. *insert evil laugh here*