Monday, April 16, 2007

i cannot possibly be the ONLY bride

who doesn't want to look like a princess on her wedding day?!?!?! princesses aren't sexy. princesses are pretty. i don't want to look pretty. i want to look sexy. fuck pretty. i want to look smoking hot.

i mean, this is the conversation that happened after 3 hours of getting my hair and makeup done this past weekend:

me: "omg. i look like a princess!!!!!"
hair chick: "shutup! don't say that! you do NOT!!!!"
me: "UH HUH!!!!! ew! i so do!!!"

then i proceeded to turn around and ask everyone else in the room if i did, or did not, look like a princess in a fucking disneyland parade??? the best part was- they didn't really know how to answer that question. i mean, if they said yes, was i going to freak out? if they said no, was i going to freak out?!

it's official (again).. i am a freak.

it's a very weird experience getting your hair and makeup all done when you're wearing jeans and a tank top. obviously, your clothes don't match your freaking head and that alone is enough to make you feel like you don't look right. i did half wonder if i had the dress on, how different would i feel that i looked? i just don't know!

thank the goddess i took pictures though because i know now what needs to be fixed with my hair. i easily pinpointed what made me look princess puke worthy and i'm fairly certain it's an easy fix. my hair was the easy part. my makeup on the other hand, was a freaking nightmare. i'm having a super hard time trying to pinpoint exactly what doesn't look right. i know that the foundation was too light, and no one wants to look like a geisha girl on her wedding day. well, unless you're a geisha girl...

so yeah. it's weird. getting all done up, but just for pretends. and being expected to love it, because you should. but you don't. and how do you fix it? and i know this post sucks without pictures, but i just can't post any or boyfriend will disown me... and i didn't go through all this hell for nothing!


Becky said...

please email me the pics and i will put my 2 cents in. thanks.

ps. you are a freak cuz i wanted to look like a princess!

dcrmom said...

I'm DYING to see pictures.

I'm with you. It is SO hard to get someone else to do your hair and makeup. I did my own makeup for my wedding day b/c I've never in my LIFE had anyone do my makeup to my satisfaction.

I did luck out and find someone to do my hair the way I wanted, but it was pretty easy, a french twist. I was 23. I was trying to be pretty, not sexy. Now, if I were to do it again TODAY, I'd want a total different look.

Good luck!!

RWA said...

Well, look at it this way. At least you had a trial run to work out the "problems" before the actual wedding.

I'm sure it will all be fine.

alison said...

I agree with RWA. At least you had a "dress rehearsal" before the real deal. Now you can get the look you want perfected before the big day. Email me the pictures NOW (do it, Hooch) and I will try to help. I'm sure you looked absolutely gorgeous, by the way.

Anonymous said...

So, speaking from one who saw the "do"- she (Jenn) looked absolutely RAVISHING!Chris will be hard pressed to make it through the ceremony!!!!!!!!!!!! The make up was good- especially the eyes-I think it will be purrfect on the big day.
Stop stressing Jenn!


Beth said...

I just started reading you again after a break, and I cannot believe you didn't post pictures!! I want to see the pukey princess hair!! and the makeup! Screw the boyfriend! which I'm sure you will! ;)

Meg said...

You are so funny! I went and had my makeup done in advance so I could critique it, but I went in blind with my hair. I actually had no idea how I wanted my hair done. I just plopped down in the chair on the day of my wedding and I told her to make me look hot! While I'm not sure it was the sexiest hairstyle ever, it worked for me and I still had a blast!

Kim said...

I colored my own hair ON my wedding day and did my own makeup. Looking back I can't believe I actually did that. Everyone else was freaking out. Not me. I used to be pretty low maintenance. Not anymore.

Judging from past photos of you, somehow I think YOU will be able to pull off Pretty/Smoking Hot all at once! No sweat.

SUEB0B said...

I do not understand why the hair chick wouldn't admit you look like a princess...because you ALWAYS look like a Disney princess in my eyes.

Virginia Belle said...

yes, this post does suck without pics. send me some, too.

wish i could come out there to cali and do your makeup. (you do know that i do weddings for all my friends, right? i used to be a clinique girl). i would make you look smokin hot. not pasty-face.

send me pics of your makeup. or just a list of what they used on you. i can critique.

i never let other people do my makeup. it's just easier for me to do my own.

as far as my hair is concerned, i'm pretty easy to please. since my hair normally lies on top of my head like a dead rat, i'm grateful for anyone to just get it to DO something. does it look partially alive? ok, looks great. thanks a lot. (and then they get a big fat tip.) my hairdresser loves me.

maybe you should have another trial run??? can't hurt, right?

oh, wait. just read momster's comment. moms are always right when it comes to this kind of stuff. i bet you looked hot.

i only say this because when i think i look like crap and The Czarina says i look great, the pictures from the event always prove that moms are always right.

besides, ster, you always look good, girl. i mean, you can't hide hot. it's just THERE. do you think carmen electra could ever look cute and princessy? um, nope. she has hotness oozing out of her pores. same for you.

Grim Reality Girl said...

This is what I love about you.
Also, where are the damn photos!??

TeeRish said...

i NEED pics! c'mon!

i'm sure you looked lovely...princessy is kinda hard to avoid with traditional wedding stuff, though, especially if you put your hair up. but i'm sure you can get the look you want...but only if you send me PICS!

Jenny said...

Oh, man. Princess head is so hard to cope with. I'm sure you looked smokin' hot. How could you not?

Wes said...

You really are a freak, and you So know it!