obviously the shooting at v tech has affected me. certain things will just strike a chord with me and they become something that i can't easily shake. columbine was by far the worst for me (not including 9/11). this is up there.
but you know what i thought the other day? i thought that the worst was already behind them. behind all of us. because the day that it was happening... the day all those horrific events were unfolding.. well that was the worst day of all. while it was actually going on. the immediate aftermath. the trying to make sense of it all, and find out who is safe and who isn't, and just what the hell is going on.
but then the next day comes. and the awfulness is already a day behind us. we are no longer living in "the day" that it all happened. and each day that passes, that day gets further and further behind. and each day comes with a little more understanding.. a little less pain.. and a little more healing. at least that's what i hope.
and none of that means forgetting. a day when the tears stop falling, doesn't mean that you've forgotten. doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt. doesn't mean that you've stopped caring. it just means that you've been able to live with the pain and move forward. i'm not sure you ever fully forget the pain. i think it becomes a part of you in some way. you just can't let it define you.
so today, on the 8 year anniversary of columbine... my thoughts are with all of those families, and all of yours.