Tuesday, April 10, 2007

boob jobs

and other types of plastic surgery....

i mention getting a boob job every now and then in various conversations. i'm half serious, half not. i talk about getting one... but i've never actually researched it. don't know much about the procedure, cost, or anything other than the fact that the end result is one hell of a nice rack. and sometimes, that sounds really fun! especially for someone who has "chesticles" like i do.

but you know what stops me? the thought of suddenly having these huge tits, and trying to explain what the hell i just did to my body and WHY, to my 8 year old son. it's not like he wouldn't notice the difference. how do you teach your son not to treat women like objects, and to be a good man, when his mom just went and got boobs for whatever self imposed reason? how do i teach him to love people for who they are, and accept the way they look, when i just changed something about the way i look? how do you teach him to not judge women and be obsessed with their tits, when mom just went and made hers ginormous?

and then i totally project to having another baby, and having it be a girl.... and how do you teach her to love herself, no matter what- when you've had physical alterations? how do you teach her that her looks shouldn't matter, when you've changed yours?!??! how do you teach her to just accept the way she looks, and be okay with it- when it's obvious you weren't?

so i wonder... for those of you who have had plastic surgery- will your kids know what you did? or will you not tell them? and how will you explain it to them without sounding completely hypocritical? i'm not judging anyone who got anything done... to each their own (and who knows, i could still get boobs someday) i'm just curious.. how do you deal with this topic?

16 comments:

Becky said...

well i'm 1st up lol. and i'm sure if you ask gina she'd say the same---i'm totally gonna tell hannah. and i'm gonna tell her that i personally wasn't happy with myself so i did something to fix it. and she's beautiful no matter what. but if she ever came to me about it when she was older (as in adult) and said she wanted to have some work done i'd totally support her in it. i'm totally for plastic surgery IN MODERATION. i didn't get huge boobs. i think if you got them but didn't go humongous then it wont be a big deal at all. and i guess thats the lesson i'm gonna show to hannah. that yes i wasnt happy BUT i didn't take it to an extreme either. it wasn't about being sexy or provacative. it was about self esteem for me. she of course has no idea i did that now but when she's older i do plan to tell her.

norcalgirl28 said...

I never even got to the thoughts that you have because I am terrified at the thought of getting sliced and diced when I don't have anything life threatening wrong with me. You certainly raise some good points though and, I agree, it would be very difficult to explain to a boy or a girl how important it is to accept yourself the way you are and be happy and proud of the way you look if you had plastic surgery. Hmmm...I hope someone comments, because now I'm curious.

Dana said...

I will give you my boobs. I think they're too heavy, too big and too much in my way. I think it's normal for every woman to have her "issue" with some part of her body and you simply tell your children the reason behind what you did or thought of doing.

If this is something that would boost your self-confidence and/or make you feel good about yourself, why not? Just be honest with your child.

Yenno?

Meg said...

Very good points. Very good. It's so hard to have kids who are okay with themselves when we are always wanting to change ourselves! Like you said, to each his own, but that's definitely something to think about. Thankfully I grew boobs during pregnancy and they never left...along with some extra pounds!

alison said...

I wish I'd grown boobs during pregnancy. I did during nursing but they left and took everything else with them. I'm smaller now than I was before kids and I was nothing then! So I also have breaticles. :) Nice. Even though it would be nice to have cleavage, I'd be too terrified to have implants, so I've never thought about it. (Not to mention the money. "Sorry, kids, you'll have to pay for your own education. Mommy got herself a nice rack!") But, I do agree with you---whatever makes you happy. Go for it! (Can you put "boobs" on your bridal registry and we can all contribute to the Boob Fund?)

Grim Reality Girl said...

Someday (after losing a few more pounds) I will have reduction surgery. I will explain to my daughter that it is about relieving back pain. I will pray that she does not have as many blessings in front as I.... and I will encourage her to have reduction surgery if she is as gifted as I fear she will be. I have talked to her about how it stopped me from participating in sports. I have talked to her about how perfect she is... I pray she does not have a need for reduction, but the deck is stacked against her....

I like how you think these things through and how you realize the impact your decisions have on your kids. When a mom at the kid's school with 3 boys has her breasts enlarged I fear for her and the conversations she must have to have.

It isn't easy being a woman... but I'm glad that is who I am....

Elizabeth said...

Great post, Jennster. I personally don't think you NEED a boob job, but if it would make you feel better about how you look, then that's what you tell your son. And you tell him that women come in all different shapes and sizes, and that what is important is that a woman is a good person on the inside. Which you ARE!

Jennifer said...

Wow, great points! I have a son (and will have a daughter very soon) and I plan on having surgery one day. I may reconsider, though, especially because of my daughter. I would hate for her to grow up thinking that she wasn't "good enough." The whole do as I say, not as I do is a load of crap.

jennster said...

no no no everyone... i really don't think i will get them. i don't think i REALLY even want them. it is a fleeting thought, that fleets away even faster when i think about what the fuck i'd try to tell blake.
i just can't imagine teaching him what i want to teach him, after having that done to myself. and seriously, the thought of having a girl and trying to teach her self respect and feeling good about her body NO MATTER WHAT, after i've had boobs put on??? i just can't think of one single way to explain it to a child, where i wouldn't be completely hypocritical.
i just wanted to clear up the jennster doesn't have any self esteem and needs tits to feel good about herself misconception i might have put out there. lol

RWA said...

I have to agree with becky. A friend of mine got a boob job for her own happiness. She was gorgeous without them, and plenty of people told her that, but she wanted them.

I think the situations are different. Teaching Blake to like other people for who they are and so on is one thing. Just because someone has had some form of plastic surgery, etc., doesn't change who they are.

Now, teaching a daughter to like herself is different. I think that's up to the individual.

Of course, the idea of having them "re-done" every several years isn't exactly appealing to my friend - but that's one of the "consequences," I guess.

Lisa said...

I have no idea how to explain that but you bring up a VERY, VERY good question.

Kim said...

The problem is that for some reason having a "boob job" has become something normal and totally ok. Why??? This is a surgery, a body altering surgery, to put something not natural into your body. You could die having it done, or have major complications afterwards and never recover from it. Why doesn't anyone ever talk about that?

Boobs are for feeding your babies milk. That's it. They weren't put there for cleavage action. They aren't supposed to pop out all over the place, and be hard, or be motionless when you run.

Now I don't have the greatest boobs around, but there is no way I would put myself through all of that to get a "boob job" I have what I have and that's it. I call them my "National Geographic Tits" and I'm sticking with them, cleavage or no cleavage, they are with me this way till the end.

There

Becky said...

thanks rwa! you da man!

Kim said...

After years of dealing with two rather irritating mosquito bites on my front that got three times smaller after babies than they were before, I decided I had enough and got the boob job. I just did not feel sexy before, bathing suit season was a nightmare, and I just looked bottom heavy. I had an absolutely awesome experience and I am thrilled with the results. I feel SO much more attractive!

That being said, the one concern was explaining it to my eleven year old daughter. Her biggest fear was that they would be huge and she would be embarrassed, aside from the fact that mom was having surgery. But we had a few good heart to hearts about how people make changes to their bodies all the time like braces, hair color, nose jobs, etc. and how if you are doing it for the right reasons then ultimately it is your body to do whatever to. All in all she was so surprised at how much better I looked and is always saying how good I look in the clothes that I can wear now that I couldn't wear before.

You are totally right to consider how it would affect Blake or future children, and if I was planning on having more children I most likely would have waited til I was done before getting implants.

This is just one of the things I admire you for, Jennster, you are just a great mom!

Virginia Belle said...

all i know is, they hurt like hell.

i have had some friends who have got them done. they said it hurts like a bitch. they also said to be sure to spend the big bucks on them so they look good.

i lucked out in the boob department. the only thing i will have to explain to my kids is why mommy has her boobs out in all the photos.

i say, if you do it, tell blake when you're good and ready. the end.

you bring up really good points, though, ster. a lot of parents don't think of stuff like this, let alone talk to their kids about it. you (and your readers, from what i have read here) have thought out everything in advance and are being very responsible parents who are concerned with the impression they are giving their kids. that puts a smile on my face. you go, you kick ass parents!!!!! i learn from people like you.

i have seen pics of you, ster. you do not have chesticles. puh-leeze. your boobs are fine.

oh wait. just read your little comment up there. right. no boobs/esteem issues for ster. ok. roger. scratch that.

but if you do, i don't judge. we are lucky enough to live in a world where we can do something about it. if it would truly make you happier, i say, go for it. because if they ever invent some sort of hip-narrowing surgery, you can bet your sweet ass i'm gonna be first in line.

spidey said...

I may buy myself some boobies if mine get fucked up after kiddos. I suppose if I do, I'll just tell my kids I did it to make me happy and no one else. :)