Saturday, March 17, 2007

the post where i get shit on... literally

listen to this. we're going to file this under the "things that only happen to jennster" category....

i.love.dogs.

anyone who knows me, knows how i get around dogs.... puppies especially. i think chicks are either go ga'ga over babies, or dogs. i am definitely the dog one. so i see this black lab today and he's just as sweet as can be. i'm petting him and he's loving it. i'm scratching behind his ears... i'm scratching his butt.. this dog loves me. so much so that he puts his ass on my leg and literally wipes down. i laughed and said "did you just wipe your butt on me??" then i looked down and there was crap ALL over my pants. not only did he wipe his ass on me- he wiped his full of poop ass on me!!!!!!

yes. it's true. i was crapped on by a dog i've never met before, and will never see again. i feel somewhat violated.

15 comments:

Mel said...

OH MY GOD.
I just retched.
One of my friends has a tiny little dog named Orson; I love the hell out of that dog and always make a big fuss over him, hold him on my lap, and so on. One night I was doing just that, with Orson on my lap, when I smelled the foulest odor I ever smelled. Turns out dogs have some kind of glands? In their ass? That discharge concentrated shit oil or something from time to time?
Yeah. This funky nasty shit oil was ALL OVER ME.
Yucchchhhh.

Elizabeth said...

OMG! Ewwwwww!!!!!

ali said...

um. ew.

alison said...

I can't believe you have no picture of the skidmark for us!

Angelika said...

LMFAO! Thank God that only happens to you, LOL!

Kim said...

I am so glad I just finished the last sip of my Latte, cause I don't know if I could have finished it after reading all this "crap"

Kentucky Girl said...

PEWPEW! *run away* LOL I have never heard of a dog doing this. HOLY CRAP. heee

Slick said...

Ah, with babies you'd have "spit up" all over.

Choose your poison :)

RWA said...

Ugh. Now THAT is nasty. I can't even begin to think about what I would have done to the dog in that situation.

TeeRish said...

HA!

I can promise you, Jenn, that my dogs will never wipe their poo all over your leg. (Oh wait, maybe I can't promise that.)

Nevermind.

Dogs are so awesome that you just have to forgive them for stuff like that. I mean, they think shit smells GOOD.

Undercover Angel said...

LOL! I can imagine how disgusted you were. I've never heard of a dog doing that before...But you've just given me one more argument I can use the next time the kids ask for a dog...

Kimi said...

OMG!!! I am laughing so hard right now. My dog just did the same thing to me the other night. For some reason, she likes to sit on my arm if I am laying on the floor. I think she realizes that she can have her belly rubbed if she pins my arm down and my hand would be right there...well I never really minded it and would just laugh it off...Until last week..when she scooted her tooshy across my arm..and I felt something wet...and saw something brown..ewww!! Yep, she wiped her poo on me. Thanks Lucy!

Dogs are strange sometimes! Isn't nice how they appreciate the love we give them.

Meg said...

That is hilarious! I had that happen to me so many times over the years of working at the vet clinic. That and pee, vomit, and various other animal fluids. I feel for you!

Jeff a.k.a. TrojanGuy said...

Haha. That's awesome. This post definitely calls for a picture, though.

Virginia Belle said...

WTF???? if i was the owner of that dog, i would offer to pay for your dry cleaning. i hope they did.

seriously, what is wrong with that dog? must have been anal glands or worms or something. gross.

sorry, dude.