i am so weird. just further confirming this for y'all.
last night when i logged onto the yahoo, there was a featured article on wedding planning. and i clicked it because, well, i'm a bride.... but the article was all about first starting to plan your wedding and money saving tips. and it made me so sad. because i'm not in the first planning stages anymore. and i don't need money saving tips. and i think i started mourning the loss of the wedding right then and there. you know, before it's even happened!
i think part of the reason every single hair pulling detail has been so fun for me, is because i've always realized that i won't be doing this ever again. this is a one time deal for me, and so i've taken extreme pleasure in everything. details that make some people cry, i've totally just taken a deep breath for, and then kind of revelled in it. you know? how can you not find joy in something as beautiful as your wedding and all that it represents, especially when you know you won't be doing things to this level or extreme, ever again? so it's been really fun. super fun. so fun that i'd freaking love to plan other people's weddings. .... i think. lol
anyway, i just wanted to share that while i still do have a few things left to do for the wedding, i have most of the things already done. and there is a bittersweet sadness that accompanies that. knowing that never again will i pick up a bridal magazine and actually search for an idea that represents me. i won't ever read an article on weddings and be able to relate to it the way i can now. while i've been waiting for this freaking day to come for the last 2 years, it's almost here now. and while i can't freaking wait for that party to start....... it's still sad to watch it go.
or i'm just a total nutcase.