Thursday, March 22, 2007

mourning the loss of something that isn't dead

i am so weird. just further confirming this for y'all.

last night when i logged onto the yahoo, there was a featured article on wedding planning. and i clicked it because, well, i'm a bride.... but the article was all about first starting to plan your wedding and money saving tips. and it made me so sad. because i'm not in the first planning stages anymore. and i don't need money saving tips. and i think i started mourning the loss of the wedding right then and there. you know, before it's even happened!

i think part of the reason every single hair pulling detail has been so fun for me, is because i've always realized that i won't be doing this ever again. this is a one time deal for me, and so i've taken extreme pleasure in everything. details that make some people cry, i've totally just taken a deep breath for, and then kind of revelled in it. you know? how can you not find joy in something as beautiful as your wedding and all that it represents, especially when you know you won't be doing things to this level or extreme, ever again? so it's been really fun. super fun. so fun that i'd freaking love to plan other people's weddings. .... i think. lol

anyway, i just wanted to share that while i still do have a few things left to do for the wedding, i have most of the things already done. and there is a bittersweet sadness that accompanies that. knowing that never again will i pick up a bridal magazine and actually search for an idea that represents me. i won't ever read an article on weddings and be able to relate to it the way i can now. while i've been waiting for this freaking day to come for the last 2 years, it's almost here now. and while i can't freaking wait for that party to start....... it's still sad to watch it go.


or i'm just a total nutcase.

12 comments:

Becky said...

lol youre not the only one that cant wait. i've been waiting for this wedding for a year now! once its over i'll be like "now what do i do? i miss everyone!" lol. youre not crazy. i do the same type of stuff

Mayberry said...

I get that way over dumb kid stuff, like "waah, he'll never wear size 3 diapers again!" or even if I see an announcement for some kind of event that's already over, I'll think it's so sad that I missed it, even if I never would have wanted to go had I known about it in time! See? nutcase here too.

Dana said...

I think it's the anticipation! Once it's all over you think, now what?

I know I did. Then I had a baby and anticipated all over again. :)

Your wedding is going to be beautiful. I can just feel it! Especially because I know you've planned it well! I can't wait to see pictures!

texas math said...

I've got an idea. Allie and I are in the starting stages of planning our wedding, and I have no clue whats going on, and I'm sure Allie only knows the bare minimum of planning a wedding. So, we'd be HAPPY to hear (and then quickly reject) any suggestions you might have for us.

alison said...

You are not alone! I did the same thing....you spend all the time and energy (and money!) planning for this ONE BIG DAY and it's over so FAST. I was sad for several days after the wedding because planning it consumed my life! Like someone else said....just get pregnant and then you can obsess over that. :)

Grim Reality Girl said...

The worst thing about my wedding day was how quickly it passed. Hubby and I planned it together and enjoyed the process of planning -- but is went by SO FAST! Enjoy the journey, enjoy the NOW. Enjoy the happily ever after. The day IS a big deal, but the happily ever after is a BIGGER deal. The wedding day is over too quickly... enjoy the small moments. Savor them.

Suebob said...

The wedding that ate Jennster's brain. I love you because you ARE weird. If you were normal, you wouldn't be any fun.

RWA said...

You could change careers and become a wedding planner.

Then you'd be planning weddings and reading those magazines all the time.

jennster said...

rwa... don't think i haven't seriously thought about it.. BUT, even if i did do that- it wouldn't be personal, because none of it ever again would be for MY wedding. get it? lol

Her Bad Mother said...

I love your weirdness. And your boobs.

spidey said...

I was super sad after my wedding. You will get over it eventually, though. :)

Virginia Belle said...

solution:

have a daughter.

wait about 25-30 years.

then you can plan her wedding.

that's what my mom will do. if i ever get married....

my mom is a nutcase. she gave me the idea. i'll tell her you said thank you. :)